Guys what in the HELL is on my foot? It's been there for like a week now...

seriously... too many playlists

I REALLY NEED A LAPTOP.

Welp, I go home tomorrow but since I was told to finish my stuff up TODAY, I assume I go home early enough in the day that I won't have computer time. So yeah, gotta figure out what I'mma do to keep in contact with peeps mad fast. My phone's still out of minutes, so I won't even have Twitter until I can make some money. Which may be a problem. Joyce has had work for me to do (painting her garage and cleaning her basement) for like a month now, but every time I ask her when I can come over to do it, she just says she'll let me know. And then she never does. I think she's mad at me aboot the whole... Internet people calling Mom thing. Pfft, as if that was MY fault. *eyeroll*

Also, even if I do manage to make some money, I'll have to save aboot $20 of it for when Join Us comes out next month. Meaning I'll need to make at least $40. And even that's just for the cheapest minute card that only lasts me a couple of days. So I dunno what I'm gonna do. If I had a laptop, I wouldn't even have to worry about tweeting from my phone since I could have actual Internet access. For free. By mooching off of wi-fi. Is there a way to get a free laptop or something? Or even like a netbook or something...

a bunch of stuff

UGH.

I've been trying to keep Anna things off of my LJ but I no longer have access to the place I was channeling it all into because of the jerk channers taking over most of my accounts, so I kinda have to put it here. Sorry. If you're one of the people trying to stay out of it, just ignore this post.

 EDIT: UGH WHY IS LJ CUT NOT WORKING

The Anna Quest is going horribly at the moment. A few weeks ago, one of my friends decided to post a thread aboot me on an imageboard for some reason. A bunch of douchebag chantards hate me now and hacked most of my accounts and called my mom telling her I molested my half-sister (which I didn't, of course), but this isn't aboot all that. Apparently the thread attracted the attention of Anna and Jessa somehow, and for whatever reason they posted in it that Anna had sex with her jerk boyfriend Jeremy (whom I like to call Jerkemy). I have oodles of evidence that they're most likely lying just to upset me, but nothing concrete.

Their plan is sure as hell working. I don't know exactly why the thought of her having sex with someone upsets me so much (although I do know a lot of other bad repercussions), but it does. A lot. Anna having sex is constantly on my mind, traumatizing me. Literally, constantly. I can't even distract myself with video games or TV or music or whatever as I usually do when shit upsets me. "In Fact" (by They Might Be Giants), it kinda adds on to it. Every time I try to listen to TMBG now, it reminds me of how obsessive and energetic and nerdy Anna is. She's like a sweet, innocent little girl. And I love that aboot her. But if it's true that she's had sex, then, well, she's not innocent anymore.
Also, I keep uncontrollably having mental videos of all the horrible repercussions Anna having sex would have. For one, I'd continue to be all depressed like this forever, and I could never be happy and I'd never get any enjoyment out of anything anymore. And I imagine it'd be a huge buzzkill for Anna to be married to someone who couldn't enjoy their marriage. Plus, sex is supposed to be a really special thing shared by soul mates... if she has sex with someone else, well, yeah, it ruins sex for us when we finally do end up together. I've always wanted to make her first time especially special and romantic. I'll kiss her and caress her while we make passionate love, and maybe even throw around some rose petals and light candles, if I can ever figure out where you get those things from. I dunno if she's into mood music or not but I'll do that too if she is. Personally it creeps me out to do anything sexual when music's playing because it feels like the singer's watching me. Hell, I even take off my t-shirts and throw them somewhere face-down when I jack off. But whatev, it's all aboot what Anna wants. I bet stupid Jerkemy just wants to put his penis in and jackhammer and have horrible porn sex. :/

What follows now is all the evidence why I suspect they're lying. Enjoy.

When Maddi first read me the post, I already had my doubts that it was true. She then asked Jessa, who "confirmed" by saying Anna told her she had sex a few days after it happened. Right there's a red flag. A few days? Dude, this is Anna we're talking aboot. She would've told everyone immediately, especially her best friend. Why on earth would she wait that long unless her computer was fucked up or something?

I exchanged posts with Jessa in the thread for a while. When I told her I didn't believe it, she then pulled another story out of her presumably hot ass, saying she and Myrrh licked eachother's boobs and engaged in heavy petting. Problem is, I was still Anna's friend when she met Myrrh irl. She told me all aboot it but never mentioned any of that. All they did was make out and look at each other's boobs. Look, not touch. I even told Jessa this, but she tried to cover by saying Anna was trying to avoid hurting my feelings. Um, no she wasn't... If she wanted to avoid hurting my feelings, she wouldn't have even told me what she did tell me. The making out hurt quite a lot for quite a while, and she knew it would. I mean, yeah, it didn't hurt as much as Anna doing anything sexual would, but at that point I hadn't yet told her my thoughts on her doing anything sexual. She would've assumed sex would be the same amount of hurt that making out would be.

Also, Anna's really shy and socially awkward. I doubt she'd be able to get nekkid in front of a dude let alone have sex. Even if she did, she wouldn't know what to do. She'd most likely just lay there motionless. I mean, she'll most likely pick up on the kissing once I start, but it'll probably take her longer to figure out what to do with her hands. Hell, she doesn't know what to do with them when she's sleeping, even. Neither do I, actually. But I digress.

She was with her last boyfriend, Paul, way longer than she's been with Jeremy and nothing happened between them either. Apparently Paul didn't even like kissing. Let's hope Jeremy shares the sentiment as well.

I recently heard Anna's in college now (which also upsets me, but that's a discussion for another day), so how would she even find the time and place to have sex? She lives in a dorm, presumably with a roommate, on a college campus.

I also highly doubt that Anna and Jeremy's relationship is even all that serious. As far as I can tell, they went to prom (as friends), and sometimes hang out. Pretty much just the same shit she did with Paul. Which is basically just friend things. It's painfully obvious to me that Anna doesn't even understand love. She's mistaking intense crushes for love, and that can be extremely dangerous. I mean yeah, seems like everyone goes through that phase at some point. I know I did, up until I met Anna and fell in love for real. Once it clicked for me, I started noticing other people being really stupid with relationships too, mainly in high school and on the Internet. People toss the word "love" around way too casually, when they don't really mean it. Anna's been doing just that her whole life. She "loved" Myrrh, Paul, and apparently Jeremy now, but if she actually took the time to compare the former two to Jeremy, she'd realize nothing's any different from her first two "loves". It's sad, really. Anna's so big on shipping yet doesn't know what love's all aboot.

As far as I can tell, Anna hasn't posted aboot having sex on deviantART, LiveJournal, or anywhere else but in the thread. I did hear that Scott and Jessa posted on Facebook aboot it, but Anna's parents have Facebook accounts and I'd assume they have Anna friended, so they would've seen it. Unless Anna told them aboot the plan or something, idk. My assumption is that she and her friends took advantage of the Nick thread, which they knew I would read at some point, and posted a lie aboot having sex in it to either upset me or make me stop loving her. Or both. But the joke's on them, 'cause even if it were true that still wouldn't make me stop loving her. It would ruin her lives, but not make me stop loving her.

Hopefully nobody but me would even want to have sex with her, because I heard third- or maybe fourth-hand that she has BO. I dunno who it came from, but my guess is Jessa since she's the only one who's met Anna irl who would be talking to my friends. Everyone lost contact with Myrrh once Anna decided to hate her, and I don't think anyone talks to Sean or Kate either. Except maybe Scott. I guess it's possible one of them told Scott, who told another person, who told me. Idk. I'm still thinking Jessa. Jessa's p nice though, so if it was her I'm sure she didn't mean it as an insult, just as a fact. Seems like something that'd be true. She seems to have not-great hygience. It would also explain the photo of her holding deodorant. Although I find it odd that she changed brands. She used to use Teen Spirit (strawberry scented, to be exact) because of the Nirvana song.
Touching back on the shyness thing, how would the subject of sex even come up? I mean, can you imagine it? It'd be awkward as fuck.

And finally, I once saw one of Anna's friends talking to her on Twitter and I suspect they were talking aboot telling me she had sex to get me to kill myself. The exact words were something along the lines of "Yeah, and then right before he dies, say 'Oh yeah, I lied'." Yes, it's p vague, but they were definitely discussing telling someone a lie that would somehow cause their death. Seems to fit.
Looking back one all the evidence makes me feel a little better, but as I said before none of it's concrete. In any case, I hope the truth comes out soon. I also hope that the truth is that she lied. Because if not her lives are irreversibly ruined forever. I would hope she'd have more sense than to do that to herself. I guess we'll find oot...

@cool__beans so, I have this

best newspaper article ever

me. just me.

U.S. States I've Heard Of

Countries I've Heard Of

Ed Note: Nick, your camera is shit. Is that shit smeared on the paper?!

cats love TMBG!

idk if y'all can read this but yeah