Stuff That's Wrong With Nick

A currently incomplete list of things that are wrong with Nick, divided up into five categories. Enjoy.

Contents  [hide] 1 Physically 2 Mentally 3 Emotionally 4 Sexually 5 Spiritually 6 Abnormal Non-Problematic Stuff / Stuff Wrong With My Family

[edit]Physically

• I have cramps in my foot every once in a while. I think it's like, once a month or so, but that's just an estimate.
• Occasionally I have cramps in other body parts, too, such as my neck and back.
• I have acne on my forehead, as well as a bit on my legs, arms, face, etc.
• A shower door fell on my left foot a long time ago, crushing my big toe, so the toenail there is all gross and yellow and tender.
• I'm very weak. I can't lift much weight at all. I can barely lift my one cat, Grayson.
• Ummm, I'm ugly.
• I have very low stamina, and can't run for very long. A few seconds at most, and then I need a loooooooong break.
• I am unable to hold my breath for more than around 17 seconds (my record). I have very bad lung capacity, presumably from smoking pot, or from secondhand tobacco smoke.
• On certain days, I have uncontrollable coughing fits. This is only on some days. There's no pattern, as far as I know. Apparently is has something to do with postnasal drip, because I keep coughing up mucus. It's really gross.
• I have a scar on my right hand from this one time at an amusement park when I touched the side of this huge slide while I was going down it, and the friction ripped some skin off.
• I wear glasses for being nearsighted. Apparently my vision has gotten even worse since I started wearing them.
• I often have back pains.
• This one time I walked 0.41 miles on this exercise machine thingy, and for at least three days afterward, my one leg was in a great deal of pain, and I was limping. Also I almost passed out.
• My voice sucks. It's all monotone and stuff.
• My fingers and toes are crooked.
• My bunghole has been without TP for many years.

[edit]Mentally

• I am failing all my school subjects, even Bible somehow. It is on purpose for the most part.
• I have been diagnosed with ADD.
• I'm writing a list of stuff that's wrong with me.
• I believe that Kentucky Don't Exist.
• Most of my friends believe I have Asperger's syndrome. I'm pretty sure I do, too. No, you don't. YES I DO.
• I'm afraid of many, many things, mostly stupid stuff that nobody else in teh universe would be afraid of.
• I'm stupid. I have some common sense, but not much. I also lack knowledge of pop culture, everyday terms, and lots of other stuff. I plan to keep it that way.
• I can't stand certain noises, such as vacuums or styrofoam.
• A lot of materials in clothing I can't stand, either. So I only wear loose-fitting, smooth clothes.
• I'm a hypochondriac.
• I talk to myself a lot. But in my defense, it's usually because I'm roleplaying and I don't have anyone to roleplay with, so I do it with myself.
• I have lots of obsessions, most of which only last a brief time, and then I move on to a new obsession.
• I have what my family calls "selective memory", I can sometimes remember stuff like TMBG, Bonus Stage, etcetera, but am unable to remember school-type stuff.
• I am good at following specific directions, but if they're vague or if I'm given options, I'll be completely lost, and stand there looking stupid and clueless until someone helps me.

[edit]Emotionally

• I am more feminine than masculine.
• I cry a lot. Though if there's people around I don't do it out loud.
• I'm a sissy/wimp/coward, etc. and I have a very low tolerance for pain.
• For some reason, my feelings have been hurt only three times in my entire life.
• I'm generally apathetic aboot things that have nothing to do with me or Anna.
• I like cats more than most humans.
• I succumb to jealousy.
• I get really pissed off easily, to the point where I pick up whatever object is lying around and bash people in the head with it. This usually only happens with Mom.

[edit]Sexually

• I'm a pervert. I have many, many fetishes, including BDSM, anal sex, panties, scatophilia, etc.
• My penis is very small. It's only four and a half inches when fully erect. The average size for my age is six inches, meaning I'm an inch and a half too small.
• It takes me a very long time to orgasm (somewhere around an hour or more). Rarely I can manage to do it in around twenty minutes, but only if I'm not distracted by anything, and I have to be really, really horny.
• I do not like vaginas. They are gross.
• I'm not gay, but I would like to be done up teh butt by a chick with a strap-on.
• At one point, I wanted to be a chick, but then decided not to because I was afraid of periods and childbirth.
• I'm a transvestite.

[edit]Spiritually

• Despite being a Christian, I sin like, all the time. Stealing, lying, cheating, etc.
• Often when I'm praying, I ramble on and on aboot stuff. Plus, I talk to God exactly like I talk to my friends, and saying "and like..." and "and stuff" all the time.
• Also I'm probably not praying correctly anyway.
• I get pissed off easily by people who are overly-religious, like Christians who say Halloween, Pokémon, jackin' off, video games, etcetera are against God. I often flame those kinds of people.
• Most of my friends are atheists, I think. I don't know, I haven't really asked many people what religion they are.

[edit]Abnormal Non-Problematic Stuff / Stuff Wrong With My Family

• I sometimes practice cryokinesis and tai-chi/qi-gong/whatever.
• Some people claim that I'm really smart. It's obvious that I'm not, though.
• I have an evil/abusive Mom and stepdad.
• Nanny has high blood pressure, so I may inherit that someday. I most likely will.
• My mom has only two teeth. I think they might be fake.
• My dad used to be an alchoholic. I'll probably inherit that, too.
• He also has problems with several organs, so yeah I'm screwed.

AN ATTEMPT TO NOT BE WHINY

'Sup. I had two entries ready for posting, but flaked at the last minute. They were too whiny. I refuse to be perceived as one of those entitled punk kids who think they have the right to mooch off people and get whatever they want without giving anything in return and stuff. I am not one of those punk kids. So rather than going into detail, here's some brief summaries. Or possibly boxer summaries. Or Hanes summaries, which are supposedly neither one nor the other.

September 1st was my 20th birthday. As always, it was a disappointment. I was really counting on getting something I can connect to the Internet with, like a laptop or iPad or netbook or DSi or something. Did not happen. Pretty PO'd. Also ran out of phone minutes two hours before my birthday and still haven't gotten the money for more, so I haven't had contact with anyone for a few weeks, which sucked. Also, someone who isn't in my address book texted me a couple times. Since I'm out of minutes, I can't open it to see who it was or what they wanted. It's driving me crazy. What if someone kidnapped someone and told me to do stuff within a certain time limit or else they kill them? D:

Also, we had the aftershock of an earthquake and two hurricanes. I didn't get any damage but I hear nearby towns were devastated and some people died. I dunno why natural disasters never seem to do anything here, but hey man, I'm cool with it.

I think a ghost may have molested me. I accidentally fell asleep with my unit hanging out one day, and then I dreamt someone was touching my scrotum. And I actually felt hands on it p realistically, which scared me awake. Then I noticed that somehow the blanket had been pulled down past my dingus. So uh, that happened. I sure hope you can't get STDs from ghosts. I mean, I'd assume no because you kinda have to have a body to have diseases, but I dunno. I shouldn't make assumptions. I'll be an ass and an ump will shun me. Ghosts seem to take on the appearance of bodies somehow, so you never know, maybe they can mimic attributes of bodies as well, such as having diseases. Maybe I should get tested just in case.

September 11th was the 10th anniversary of the release of my favourite band They Might Be Giants' eighth album Mink Car. I drew a thing to commemorate it. Also drew a few other things, which is weird because I haven't really been in much of a drawing mood for years.

There was an incident with Joyce yelling at me for no reason. I snapped and went into one of my mouth-foaming unintelligible-screaming spells again, which rarely happens (just like me being a kitten!). I managed to not assault anyone this time though. My biological family are all jerks. I wish I could live with Maddi instead. But I probably can't, on account o' she's a minor. I dunno. I'll ask her.
Plan B is living with Jessa, but she temporarily dislikes me for some reason, so I need to devise a

Plan C.
That's p much it.