Stuff That's Wrong With Nick

A currently incomplete list of things that are wrong with Nick, divided up into five categories. Enjoy.

Contents  [hide] 1 Physically 2 Mentally 3 Emotionally 4 Sexually 5 Spiritually 6 Abnormal Non-Problematic Stuff / Stuff Wrong With My Family

[edit]Physically

• I have cramps in my foot every once in a while. I think it's like, once a month or so, but that's just an estimate.
• Occasionally I have cramps in other body parts, too, such as my neck and back.
• I have acne on my forehead, as well as a bit on my legs, arms, face, etc.
• A shower door fell on my left foot a long time ago, crushing my big toe, so the toenail there is all gross and yellow and tender.
• I'm very weak. I can't lift much weight at all. I can barely lift my one cat, Grayson.
• Ummm, I'm ugly.
• I have very low stamina, and can't run for very long. A few seconds at most, and then I need a loooooooong break.
• I am unable to hold my breath for more than around 17 seconds (my record). I have very bad lung capacity, presumably from smoking pot, or from secondhand tobacco smoke.
• On certain days, I have uncontrollable coughing fits. This is only on some days. There's no pattern, as far as I know. Apparently is has something to do with postnasal drip, because I keep coughing up mucus. It's really gross.
• I have a scar on my right hand from this one time at an amusement park when I touched the side of this huge slide while I was going down it, and the friction ripped some skin off.
• I wear glasses for being nearsighted. Apparently my vision has gotten even worse since I started wearing them.
• I often have back pains.
• This one time I walked 0.41 miles on this exercise machine thingy, and for at least three days afterward, my one leg was in a great deal of pain, and I was limping. Also I almost passed out.
• My voice sucks. It's all monotone and stuff.
• My fingers and toes are crooked.
• My bunghole has been without TP for many years.

[edit]Mentally

• I am failing all my school subjects, even Bible somehow. It is on purpose for the most part.
• I have been diagnosed with ADD.
• I'm writing a list of stuff that's wrong with me.
• I believe that Kentucky Don't Exist.
• Most of my friends believe I have Asperger's syndrome. I'm pretty sure I do, too. No, you don't. YES I DO.
• I'm afraid of many, many things, mostly stupid stuff that nobody else in teh universe would be afraid of.
• I'm stupid. I have some common sense, but not much. I also lack knowledge of pop culture, everyday terms, and lots of other stuff. I plan to keep it that way.
• I can't stand certain noises, such as vacuums or styrofoam.
• A lot of materials in clothing I can't stand, either. So I only wear loose-fitting, smooth clothes.
• I'm a hypochondriac.
• I talk to myself a lot. But in my defense, it's usually because I'm roleplaying and I don't have anyone to roleplay with, so I do it with myself.
• I have lots of obsessions, most of which only last a brief time, and then I move on to a new obsession.
• I have what my family calls "selective memory", I can sometimes remember stuff like TMBG, Bonus Stage, etcetera, but am unable to remember school-type stuff.
• I am good at following specific directions, but if they're vague or if I'm given options, I'll be completely lost, and stand there looking stupid and clueless until someone helps me.

[edit]Emotionally

• I am more feminine than masculine.
• I cry a lot. Though if there's people around I don't do it out loud.
• I'm a sissy/wimp/coward, etc. and I have a very low tolerance for pain.
• For some reason, my feelings have been hurt only three times in my entire life.
• I'm generally apathetic aboot things that have nothing to do with me or Anna.
• I like cats more than most humans.
• I succumb to jealousy.
• I get really pissed off easily, to the point where I pick up whatever object is lying around and bash people in the head with it. This usually only happens with Mom.

[edit]Sexually

• I'm a pervert. I have many, many fetishes, including BDSM, anal sex, panties, scatophilia, etc.
• My penis is very small. It's only four and a half inches when fully erect. The average size for my age is six inches, meaning I'm an inch and a half too small.
• It takes me a very long time to orgasm (somewhere around an hour or more). Rarely I can manage to do it in around twenty minutes, but only if I'm not distracted by anything, and I have to be really, really horny.
• I do not like vaginas. They are gross.
• I'm not gay, but I would like to be done up teh butt by a chick with a strap-on.
• At one point, I wanted to be a chick, but then decided not to because I was afraid of periods and childbirth.
• I'm a transvestite.

[edit]Spiritually

• Despite being a Christian, I sin like, all the time. Stealing, lying, cheating, etc.
• Often when I'm praying, I ramble on and on aboot stuff. Plus, I talk to God exactly like I talk to my friends, and saying "and like..." and "and stuff" all the time.
• Also I'm probably not praying correctly anyway.
• I get pissed off easily by people who are overly-religious, like Christians who say Halloween, Pokémon, jackin' off, video games, etcetera are against God. I often flame those kinds of people.
• Most of my friends are atheists, I think. I don't know, I haven't really asked many people what religion they are.

[edit]Abnormal Non-Problematic Stuff / Stuff Wrong With My Family

• I sometimes practice cryokinesis and tai-chi/qi-gong/whatever.
• Some people claim that I'm really smart. It's obvious that I'm not, though.
• I have an evil/abusive Mom and stepdad.
• Nanny has high blood pressure, so I may inherit that someday. I most likely will.
• My mom has only two teeth. I think they might be fake.
• My dad used to be an alchoholic. I'll probably inherit that, too.
• He also has problems with several organs, so yeah I'm screwed.