Nick L. Nickel‏@NickBate

I hope none of my descendants get murdered. I should teach my kids to be paranoid and avoid all people.

5:19 PM - 24 Sep 2014

Creepy

Nudes

Nick Bate Rambling Aboot Hitler

Nick's Alimony Plan

I should intentionally marry some random chicks and then divorce them to rack up alimony which I can then bribe Wife with.

— Nick L. Nickel (@NickBate) September 14, 2014

Sick Nick the Terrorist Prick

Happy 9-11! 12+1 years ago today, two brave heroes attacked the U.S. and knocked those smug jerks off their pedestal. Hooray Al Quaeda!

I caught a moose in my aunt's hoose. It's limping. I dunno what to do aboot a limping moose.

I just heard you can buy beer for friends via Facebook. Can someone do that so I can drink? Also, the moose died.

Maybe I should move to Saudi Arabia where women don't have rights so Wife will have to marry me or it's illegal.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I don&#39;t think I&#39;ve ever done anything wrong. It would be cool if I was the first person to never do anything wrong. Maybe I am.</p>&mdash; Nick L. Nickel (@NickBate) <a href="https://twitter.com/NickBate/status/508397778267955201">September 6, 2014</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

I wonder why aliens like probing butts so much. Maybe they're the same species as me and it's a cultural thing.

Why is there a show called Masters of Sex and there isn't a character based on me? Or is there? I haven't watched it.

When does Jesus come back? I wanna meet Him. But like... not by dying. Unless it's of old age. Aroond 90 or 100.

Oh, that's nice. I presented my penis to Wife and she went and regifted it. Withoot even using it once.

I'm oot of therapy. Actually I was oot a half hoor ago but I just noo tweeted aboot it. Anyway, I told her aboot the thread and she said to ignore it because those people don't know me irl and everyone who knows me irl likes me. Which is true for some raisin

I don't understand why people like me. 'Cause of my social anxiety I don't talk to peeps but peeps are always coming up and talking to ME.

Wife idea: meet one of her friends irl. When they inevitably like me they'll report to her hoo cool I am and then I'm in. ...her butt.

His Last Birthday Before Prison