QUICK CHRISTMAS UPDATE

So uhh. I've been gone for a couple weeks. Not even keeping up with LJ or anything. So today, I finally get on a computer to set up my new MP3 player and flash drive and stuff, aaaand I find I'm still being talked about. Quite negatively, in fact. How many times do I have to say I haven't done any of the creepy stuff she's claiming I have? There's no shrine on my wall and I don't want to have sex with her in her sleep. And yeah, she's forgiven me a lot in the past. And I've always taken heed of her words and never made the same mistake twice, so there's no reason she should stop forgiving me for things. Well, especially since I didn't even do anything this time. Come to think of it, how did this even start? Regardless, I still can't give up. I have more un-dried-up resources left to use.

...And yeah I tried calling her. That one didn't work. I think she told her mom she didn't know me. Probably should've prepared for that scenario more thoroughly. Well, my school social worker is trying to get me a psychiatrist, so hopefully I can figure something else out with him/her. It'd be nice if Anna could come to the sessions to relay her side of the story, but yeah. She won't.

In unrelated news, my gifts this Christmas include the afforementioned flash drive (a 4 GB improvement over my old one), a generic mp3 player which isn't compatible with any of the iPod accessories that I also received, a cell phone (YES YOU CAN CALL ME AS LONG AS YOU DON'T HARRASS ME ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHAT), and various small things that aren't important mainly because the giftbuyers obviously have no idea what my interests are. Speaking of, my current obsessions are Moral Orel and Dragonball Z. Weird combination, right?

Also, I've been hanging out with this kid I met on my bus. He drags me out of the house long distances on foot and usually leaves me to walk home alone, eats all our food, leaves my room a mess, cheats at video games, gets me in trouble by keeping me out past my curfew, consistently shows up at the wrong time, and oh yeah he caused permanent damage to both my arms. Now it hurts to move them and I have difficulty sleeping because of the pain. How do I get myself into these things? Other than all that, though, his heart's in the right place.

...my life's a mess. Save me.

WHY?

So, as you all may have heard, I sent Anna a letter recently. Basically all I said in it was that I wanted her to contact me somehow so we can talk everything through. I don't see how that's such a difficult request... I mean, I want us to work this thing out by talking like civilized people. Yet somehow she continues to refuse - not even giving any valid reason, mind you - and instead keeps telling me to never contact her again and misleads random people by telling them I'm a creepy stalker (which is obviously completely untrue, which I've been trying to prove to her this whole time). So now, on top of the mountains of pain she's already causing me, I have all these people blindly agreeing with her without even caring to hear my side of the story. Just stop listening to her, seriously. You people should be smart enough to see that she never gives any reasons for saying these things about me, and what little "evidence" she does give I could disprove if anyone would listen.
Really, Anna. It isn't like you at all to do this. The old you would never do this to someone who loves you. What's happened to you?

HI.

mood:  depressed hopeless

Reason for my not being online: what's the point? I really only use the 'net to talk to... "Rya". So, I haven't gone to my dad's house for weeks. Thus, no Internet access. I managed to post this entry, though, since everyone's probably wondering about me.

But I haven't given up on trying to make amends with "Rya". I sent a letter asking her to contact me so we can talk about this, but from the sound of it, she probably won't even read it. I have no idea what to do anymore. No matter how hard I try to prove that I really love her, she continues not believing me and calling me a creepy stalker and just treating me like shit in general.

I'll probably continue not being online for a while. Maybe I'll stop in periodically to talk to the few people who don't hate me, I don't know. Until then, bye.

P.S. - to the aforementioned few people, take care of her. And by that I don't mean like taking care of business or whatever, but actual care. Seeing as how I can't do so anymore.

SO LIKE...

I...

Love...

Dragonball Z Abridged!

Look up TeamFourStar's channel on YouTube. It's great (Especially since I've been playing DBZ Budokai Tenkaichi recently). Episode six just came out today! =D

...That's pretty much all I have to say.

THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN SCHOOL TODAY!

Today was the day we delivered subs to everyone who ordered 'em, 'cause we were selling subs to pay for a memorial pond thing for our teacher that died. I had to do an assload of runnin' around to do so; so much, in fact, that my thighs chafed. And of course I had one of my hot flashes. Again. Then we had this pep rally thing at the end of the day, so I was unable to pick up the subs I was supposed to deliver to my family. Eventually we drove back to school to get them, but YEAH!

Once I found the buses, I was approached by three friends from mah bus. I was asked to sit in the front with two of them, which is a rarity as I usually sit in the back with the other. So he was probably like "wtf nick" 'cause I didn't sit with him today. But the bus ride was hilarious. We discussed all kinds of crazy shit. At one point, my one friend told me to go to homecoming with her (which is today) and dance and stuff. I actually considered it, but then Dad came and picked me up, so now I can't. Meh.

I think I'll probably alternate between sitting in the front and the back of the bus so I can hang out with everyone equally.

Outside of school, I'm working on a video of all of Craig's lines in Bonus Stage. So far I've done all episodes up to and including CurSING!. I was also gonna do some other BS-related stuff, but this took the front seat because it's just so awesome.

YU-GI-OH-PLAYIN'

This weekend, my dad's girlfriend's son told me to bring my Yu-Gi-Oh deck with me, and I did just that. We played several matches, but I only won, like, two. I guess I haven't played it in so long, I forgot how bad my deck sucked. I made it a looong time ago, focusing solely on machine monsters. And unfortunately, all my machine monsters suck. Plus I made bad choices in choosing my magic and trap cards. And I had really bad luck in drawing the right cards. And my opponent's decks were damn good. So yeah.

Also, Scott should buy Particle Man (Live at Mountain Stage) for me so I can finally complete my Superfueled Freaksickle playlist.

CONCERT'D! (PLUS, BONUS TALES!)

Ugh, lack of Internet makes me sad. Anyway...

I went to that concert. It was good, until I had to leave. My aunt had work that night, so we only got, like, halfway through the setlist. I'll post a review on TMBW eventually.

Also, my CDs and stuff came. Same day as the concert, too. Gotta love the timing there.

Other than that, this has been a pretty shitty few weeks. I tried once again to drop out of school so I can get that out of the way and focus on, well, you know. "Rya". But people CONTINUE to not let me, so I opted to just stop going to school. Which also didn't work because my fucking aunt kept taking me in. At least school's a bit easier now that I'm out of the mainstream class and back into special ed all day. Also, the social worker in there is trying to hook me up with another psychiatrist. Plus, I had to write an essay about "Rya". I don't think I did as well as I could have.

Speaking of "Rya", I'm still trying to figure out how to get her back. It's hard to do so when I have no way of communicating with her. I'm getting a cell phone soon, but somehow I don't think she'd appreciate being called by someone she hates. So no. I'm kind of running out of ideas. =/