Some Things You Should Know

This page is under construction while I sift through 297 chat logs, dawgs.

You've all heard the stories about Nick being a creepy stalker, right? Of course you have! Well, here's some other pieces of information you might want to see!

Nick isn't just some random dude that started "stalking" her. Oh no, not at all! Nick was one of Anna's CLOSE FRIENDS since 2006! GASP! REVELATION! And guess what?! Until August 23, 2008, Anna never before complained aboot any of the things she now complains about!

Also note that this page is not meant to hurt Anna's feelings or anything, but rather to save my own ass and prove that I'm not a creepy, idiotic stalker like she claims I am.

Contents  [hide] 1 Oh, dat hypocritic Anna! 1.1 April 9, 2006 1.2 May 26, 2006 2 OMG Anna has actually complimented Nick in the past! 3 Nick does not always talk aboot marriage and sex 3.1 February 29, 2008 4 The Real Anna Nickel 4.1 April 4, 2008 5 Nick really knows his shiznit 6 Miscellaneous mindfucks 6.1 May 13, 2006

[edit]Oh, dat hypocritic Anna!

You may have heard that Anna considers the word 'aboot' offensive to Canadians for some reason! Well, let's take a look at some excerpts from chat logs, shall we?

[edit]April 9, 2006

hagurumon41: Guess what I might be doing Thursday?
shippinator_mandy: Meeting Myrrh?
hagurumon41: Uh... yeah.
hagurumon41: How did you know? Are you psychic?!
hagurumon41: I swear, that wasn't you! That was... some person I just made up!
shippinator_mandy: You talk aboot it a lot.
shippinator_mandy: Does she know?
hagurumon41: Yeah, we kinda just made the plans.
shippinator_mandy: Ah.
hagurumon41: Like, a couple minutes ago.
shippinator_mandy: Well, have fun.
shippinator_mandy: AND TAKE PICTURES.

WHOA WHOA WHOA BACK UP

shippinator_mandy: You talk aboot it a lot.

OHHHHHHHH, WHAT WAS THAT, ANNA?

[edit]May 26, 2006

Hagurumon31: oh, and I'm 177 pounds.
IllNeedACrane: I'm...115.
IllNeedACrane: And 5'3".
Hagurumon31: Well, if that chart at that science place was right, I'm three pounds underweight... somehow.
IllNeedACrane: O_o
Hagurumon31: I don't know how that's possible, unless it meant 180 pounds of muscle instead of fat.
IllNeedACrane: Well, if you ARE 5'8"...
Hagurumon31: Yeah... the chart said 180 lbs. is what 5'8" peeps are supposed to be.
IllNeedACrane: So you're fine.
IllNeedACrane: What aboot 5'3"?
Hagurumon31: I... don't know... I didn't think to look.
IllNeedACrane: Well, do ya think 115 lbs is okay?
Hagurumon31: Yeah, should be.
IllNeedACrane: Cool.

Did you spot the 'aboot'?

[edit]OMG Anna has actually complimented Nick in the past!

And here's some nice things Anna has said aboot me!

[edit]Nick does not always talk aboot marriage and sex

And here's evidence that I do NOT always hit on her!

[edit]February 29, 2008

[22:20] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: Okay. I need to tell you this.
[22:21] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Hmm?
[22:21] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: I'm breaking up with Paul. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE A CHANCE WITH ME. CAPICHE?
[22:21] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Huh?
[22:21] Kentucky Don't Exist!: How come you're breaking up?
[22:22] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: It just ain't workin' out
[22:22] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Oh.
[22:24] Kentucky Don't Exist!: So like. Are you okay?
[22:25] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: I'm fine.
[22:25] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: In fact, I'm...kind of glad. I just did it.
[22:25] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: And he seems okay with it. I think we'll be able to stay friends, which is a good thing.
[22:25] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Ah, okay.
[22:27] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Do you... have anyone else in mind?
[22:27] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: Nope.
[22:27] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Ah.
[22:29] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Hey, uh.
[22:30] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: Yuss?
[22:30] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Is it alright if I tell KN? He... kinda thought you were in an abusive relationship and... I mean, this'd kinda be evidence against it. o_o;
[22:30] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: He did? O_o
[22:30] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: Why?
[22:31] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Yeah. For the past three weeks, actually.
[22:31] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: That's just silly. O_o
[22:31] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Well... he said you display the symptoms and stuff. Actually, Jessa and I discussed it, to.
[22:31] Kentucky Don't Exist!: *too
[22:31] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: I do? O_o That's odd, because I was never in such a relationship.
[22:32] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Yeah. I know.
[22:32] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: So yeah, tell him I never was in an abusive relationship.
[22:32] Kentucky Don't Exist!: I did. But I didn't tell him WHY I know this.
[22:32] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: Why did you know?
[22:33] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Um? Because you broke up with your boyfriend.
[22:33] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: Aside from the fact that I wouldn't keep something like that a secret.
[22:33] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: Ah.
[22:33] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Well, that's the thing. People who're being abused DO tend to keep it a secret, so.
[22:34] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: Ahh.
[22:34] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: Odd.
[22:34] Kentucky Don't Exist!: You... didn't know this? I mean... y'know... they'd be ashamed and stuff...
[22:34] Anna Cassidy smells like Teen Spirit.: Ah.

You will note that not only did I not take advantage of the situation and swoop in for the rebound, I actually counseled her and provided her with useful information! Plus I was worried aboot her being in an abusive relationship!

[edit]The Real Anna Nickel

Instances of Anna yelling at me for no reason whatsoever. Reminds you of present-day, huh?

[edit]April 4, 2008

[19:34] anna_cassidy_nickel@hotmail.com: K, I'm not angry at you anymore.
[19:34] Meebo Message: Anna Cassidy - And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty. is online
[19:37] Kentucky Don't Exist!: Oh, hi!
[19:37] Anna Cassidy - And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty.: I have realized that perhaps I am too controlling of you.
[19:37] Kentucky Don't Exist!: ...uhh... how so? o.O
[19:37] Anna Cassidy - And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty.: I dunno. I just boss you around so much.

Ah, she finally admits it! Too bad she forgot this realization shortly afterward. I'm a piece of shit and am in jail!

[edit]Nick really knows his shiznit

Instances of Nick being the intelligent one!

[edit]Miscellaneous mindfucks

[edit]May 13, 2006

Hagurumon31: Well, what if you devised a point system, and buicking is like, the most expensive prize that I might be able to achieve like once a year?
IllNeedACrane: No.
Hagurumon31: Oh... well, what kind of prizes CAN I get?
IllNeedACrane: Uh...
IllNeedACrane: Kisses. Drawings. Stuff like that.

Okay, yes, I admit I asked her for anilingus here, but you'll also notice that HOLY CRAP SHE AGREED TO KISSES.

Anna and Nick Tweets

FFFFFFFFFF

Here's the week in summation!

Finally got my aunt's pool up and running. Well, okay, I just sat around watching everyone else do the work, but still. Once it was filled, I got to wade in it! Yes, I said wade. Because I can't swim. Seriously, I tried teaching myself when I was in there. I grabbed onto a floatation raft thing and kicked my legs, but I didn't go anywhere. Just kept following the current. Sigh... Plus I can't hold my breath or float, so I dunno, maybe it's just physically impossible for me to swim.

Kept on babysitting the kitten. Seriously, something's very wrong with it. :/

"Borrowed" my sister's Pokémon Emerald so I can reuse a move tutor and teach substitute to an Azumarill and trade it over to MY Emerald. Gonna take a while, though. Hopefully she doesn't miss it until I'm done and give it back. Eh, she's too busy with Platinum to notice. Oh and this is gonna take a REAL long time, because I need to also teach the Azumarill Sing. And guess what? Only Azurill can learn Sing, not Marill. So I'm forced to breed with the Sea Incense. Meaning I can't use the Everstone. Meaning I have a 1 in 25 chance of getting the nature I want. Plus I'm also looking for a specific gender, ability and OH GOD hidden power type. Do you realize what the odds of finding the correct Azurill are? Very low, m'friend, very low.

Is anyone tired of me talking about Pokémon breeding yet?

OMG, ANOTHER KITTEN!

Yeah, we got another kitten! I guess Mom or someone found it on a road, so we took it in. It's pretty cute. But dang, she's sickly.

She was fine the first week, but then she started being just sleeping all day and not wanting to eat, drink or play.

That improved a bit, but then she started not being able to walk well. She's really wobbly and collapses a lot.

Then she started having what appear to be seizures. She falls over and starts twitching for a few minutes.

THEN she started having what seems to be narcolepsy or something. She collapses, just like the seizures, except now she just goes limp and has no movement whatsoever (except she's still breathing, of course). It's really creepy. It looks like she's dead. Or like, sleeping with her eyes open.
And this happens like, constantly now. As I type this, she's been in one of those states for over an hour now. Literally. And I can kind of wake her up, but then she just goes into another sleep a couple seconds later.

Anyone know what to do aboot it?

(other things: my half-sister got a Nintendo DS for her birthday, which I've been helping her play, and also we've been trying to get my aunt's pool up and running)

PLACEHOLDER!

Just getting the previous post out of the way. That... didn't even have anything to do with Anna, yet Anna's friends STILL found a way to bash me for it for some reason.

Also they vandalized my wiki like six times.

Things Nick Loves Aboot Anna

First off, she's so dang pretty. In like, every way. Her face, her hair, her figure, etc. In addition to being pretty, she is also beautiful, hot, sexy and cute. Even her chubbiness is cute. It makes me wanna tickle her tummy! ^o^

1. Her clothes are amazing and she has great taste in them. She can pull off any style. She can look goth, hippie, classy, girly, and really anything else without even trying, and it WORKS for her.
2. She has a great sense of humor.
3. She has great taste in music, TV, movies, books, video games, and everything else.
4. She's ridiculously intelligent. Normally this is a huge turnoff for me but she wears it well.
5. She's girly and. It. Is. KAWAIIIIIII~ <3
6. She has tons of things eerily in common with me. This wouldn't be such a big deal except they are really, really weird things that are probably unique to just the two of us.
7. She's very open-minded.
8. She's random and silly. :3
9. She's nerdy! Video games, roleplaying, anime, the Internet, et cetera. All good.
10. She's really nice (when you're on her good side).
11. She has tons of mental illnesses.
12. She was at one time Christian and hopefully will be again someday. :c
13. She a perv, baby!
14. She's got talent in writing, drawing, singing, etc.
15. She has a cute kitty. =^o^=
16. She's young-at-heart. Still watches cartoons, that she does!
17. She is to the best of my knowledge a vegetarian, and vegetarians are pretty cool.
18. She is also bisexual, which is even cooler.
19. Supposedly she has a huge ass. I cannot verify if this is true or not.

[incomplete]

THE INSIDES OF MY EYELIDS - THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF NICK BATE

September 1st, 1991. Nickalaus Boyd Stoutzenberger was born. The first several years of my life are fuzzy, and I only remember random bits and pieces. They are all useless, though. But what I DO know is that my family was, and still is, terrible. The years before kindergarten were spent in a small apartment house, having no contact with anyone outside the family at all. I also had no video games at this point, so I have no idea what I did for fun.

Then shortly before school began, we moved to a house right up the street from my grandmother, and from then on I often ran away to there whenever my family did stupid crap. Now, the next sequence of events, I don't know exactly what order they came in, but here they are:

-I got a Sega Genesis, launching my love of video games (but not RPGs just yet)
-My parents got divorced, and Dad ended up moving in with his sister. I remained with my evil mom.
-I started going to school.

School was always hectic. For the first few years, I often tried to run away from school, only to be retrieved by cops or my parents. Plus I always had difficulty with the work, and thanks to being kicked out for a few weeks, I fell pretty far behind. When I returned, they started having me do muliplication when I hadn't learned subtraction yet. It took me years to get the piece I was missing, but I eventually did it. And until fourth grade, I was actually labeled a 'gifted child' and was even put in a special program for such children. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand ANY of what they talked aboot in there, leading me to believe I was actually somewhere between average and gifted.

But then fourth grade came, and I remained at a third grade level, unable to learn anything new. I'm STILL there, actually. So needless to say, now I'm considered retarded. Anyway, fourth grade is always when I was sent to my first Special Ed class. I stayed in the same class with the same teacher (whom I hated then but now realize wasn't bad at all) until the end of elementary school. I also made my first friends there, and they hung out with me at recess, playing this live-action roleplay I devised, called The Nick Team. It was basically a ripoff of DBZ and Final Fantasy 9.

Anyway, school still proved to be hard, seeing as how for some reason I can't learn new things. Plus I got into the occasional fight or threw the occasional tantrum. Then middle school came. I went to a new school for about a week of middle school before my mom decided I should be homeschooled instead, due to my inability to get along with other people.

The homeschool years were the good ones. I spent most of my time playing video games and working on writing Nick Team stories, having no contact with people, et cetera. My dad also found a girlfriend, and I went there on weekends. Her son introduced me to Homestar Runner, and a new Nick was born shortly after. I came across the Homestar Runner Wiki via search, and I started using the Internet for message boards, wikis, instant messaging, etc. for the first time.

I made tons of Internet friends, a few of which I'm STILL friends with. I also started my own message board, which was the greatest thing ever to be on the Internet. My friends posted there. ...That's actually all that happened, really, but I think it was the coolest thing ever anyway. There were a few incidents in which I thought I was in love with come chicks, but they turned out to really be just obsessions that caused them to hate me, but of course I only realized the difference once I actually fell in love for real.

From the HRWiki, I spread to other websites, eventually discovering Bonus Stage, the greatest cartoon ever made. My first obsession. From this point forward, I started cycling through random obsessions every few weeks, and for the duration of them, they became the center of my universe. Then of course I abruptly find a new obsession and the cycle repeats itself. For example, during my Bonus Stage phase, I wrote lists of characters, episodes, etc. for no real reason, then tossed them onto a pile and never looked at them again. I also watched the episodes repeatedly all day long. The same formula applies to all my obsessions. During my They Might Be Giants phase, I listened only to Their music, wrote down the tracklistings of albums for no reason, etc.

Anyway, back to Bonus Stage. I helped set up the Bonus Stage Wiki, and there, I met Anna. Actually, she was also a friend of my first girlfriend, but I probably didn't pay attention until BSWiki. Anna quickly became my best friend and she shaped me into what I am today. She introduced me to a large percentage of my obsessions, and I swear, she has the same thing going on. She'd cycle through obsessions like that, too, and we usually had the same ones at the same time, so we constantly talked aboot them.

It didn't take long for me to fall in love with Anna. For real this time. She was fine with this at first, and even said she might marry me. Unfortunately, I told her too late, as she got a boyfriend. But I continued talking to her any chance I got, waiting for her to reciprocate my love for her. It was tough to get in contact, though, because I only went to my Dad's house every weekend (and sometimes there'd be some circumstances preventing me from going at all for months!), and my mom won't let me use her computer because she's one of those overly paranoid moms, blinded by the media, that thinks everyone on the Internet wants to kill or rape you, despite all the irrepudable evidence that my friends are actually who they say they are.

Still, it was the highlight of my life. All my time was spent trying to win Anna over, and when not online, I kept myself (midly) sane by doing roleplaying with myself (although by this time I scrapped the Nick Team in favor of The Coffee Crew), playing video games, and of course doing my weird obsession cycles. Still no friends, though, unless you count Macen, who sometimes came over to my house to join the roleplaying. But yeah, he was the only offline friend. I was actually pretty content for someone with no friends, other than the Anna thing.

Meanwhile, my mom (who got remarried) would have me arrested every few months, for trying to defend myself from being abused. Turns out, no matter what parents do to their kids, the kids can't fight back or they'll get arrested. Nice law, America. Anyway, I put up with it, because I always had Anna to look forward to. Eventually, though, I moved in with my grandmother, so Mom's antics occurred slightly less often. They still do happen, though. Most recently, her husband came and crushed my hand in a door for talking to my friends on the phone. Seriously. I have a recording of it.

But I digress. Homeschooling only lasted for four years, and for 11th grade, I was sent back to public school. Seeing as how I didn't even learn how to do middle school, high school was tough to adjust to. There was all the new jargon (Credits, for example. To this day, I don't know what a credit is or how you get them. Back in elementary school, all you had to do was get D's or higher in your work, and you graduate. But now you need credits. I don't get it.), the concept of "classes" (For some reason, now you have to go to more than one room, and you don't even get a single teacher to tell you where you're supposed to go.), and much more. Luckily, I was still in Special Ed, though, so I only had two classes and two teachers, both being special ed.

The first year sucked pretty bad. The work was getting easier, since it was special ed work, but I don't know how to handle social things. Most classmates were alienated by the roleplaying wih myself and obsession-having, while others beat me up for it. SOME people were all right and talked to me, but even then I wasn't really comfortable around other people. Then the second year came. It was better. The people who beat me up were gone, and all the new kids were pretty nice. They liked to read the Coffee Crew comics I drew and stuff. But unfortunately, everyone once again got the delusion that I'm gifted, and so halfway through the year, they put me in regular ed classes. TERRIBLE. IDEA.

The first problem was that they put me in computer classes, and I don't even like computers. Apparently they think you know how to program just because you're online all the time, talking to people. Then of course was my social phobias. People would always try to talk to me, and I don't know what to say and also I can't do eye contact. It just creeps me out. Staring at people's eyes feels weird. Then of course there's my social faux-pas. Since I don't know how to do anything that you're expected to just learn by yourself without being taught (such as eating, breathing, sex, bathing, etc.), I often did things terribly wrong. It took extremely specific directions for me to understand what to do. Luckily, one of the aides from special ed came with me to my mainstream classes, but it was still really, really difficult.

That wasn't the only area of my life that caused me great stress. On top of school and child abuse, Anna started to gradually hate me more and more. I started out being like, her best friend, but over time she began to yell at me and block me for a few days every time I told her I loved her. Even after she broke up with her boyfriend, mind you. Then one day (August 23, 2008, to be exact), she finally had enough. I'm not sure what exactly triggered it, but she decided to block me forever. Then she began writing on her blog or Twitter or whatever aboot how I'm creepy and should kill myself, and her friends joined the Nick-hatin' by DIRECTLY telling me to kill myself.

That's where I am now - Anna's still doing this stuff. And she caused a few of my friends to hate me, too, as well as cool people who weren't necessarily my friends but probably would have become friends had this not happened. So now my time is being spent thinking of way to win her back. Most of the stuff I've tried only made things worse, probably because of my retardation. Like, I tried asking advice on 4chan's /b/. ...Seriously. Not my best idea.

So basically, I put up with everything else and didn't kill myself solely because I wanted to marry Anna, and then THAT happened. It's like fate wanted to take a dump on my face, except I'm a coprophiliac, so instead fate VOMITED on my face. And in my mouth. And then I vomited THAT vomit back up. And it burned my insides something awful. The following is literally a list of my goals in life:

-Marry Anna, have kids with her, and be literally the greatest husband ever. Never get into arguments with her (kinda failed that part), never lie to her or hide things from her (that part actually screwed me over. go figure.), protect her from any dangers that may arise, always be romantic and surprise her with gifts and thoughtful acts, do all the housework, take care of her and the kids, cheer her up when she's sad, cook her meals, and just make her happy in general and always put her before myself.
-Never graduate high school (failed. yes, i failed at failing school. that's how much i fail.)
-Never have a job (note that my definition of a job is having a boss, having to travel away from home, and having a contract or other paperwork. i'll probably make money via google ads or my cartoons or something. i dunno, i'll ask anna what she wants once she's talking to me again.)

That's it. Literally. How much is that to ask, really? Not much, I'd say. And yet, all this difficulty attaining it. I've been working with my remaining friends to try to get Anna to unblock me so I can at least talk to her, and then work on things from that point. No luck so far. Plus, I recently found out she got a new boyfriend, so now I ALSO have to worry aboot those two having premarital sex, because I don't want Anna to ruin her life and afterlife. Plus there's all the other stuff I'm afraid might happen to her, which I can't stop because she's avoiding me. Plus every time I see that she's sad, there's nothing I can do to cheer her up. So as you can imagine I'm now paranoid beyond the point of insanity, and she's always on my mind, even when I'm trying to focus on video games or obsessions or whatnot.

The end.