JUST WHEN YOU THINK MY MOM STOPPED BEING RETARDED...

...apparently my mom invaded my privacy and searched through all my random papers lying around my room (which weren't even in MOM'S house, but in NANNY'S house), and just happened to find a list of crimes I've committed. Don't ask me why I wrote that list. I just like to write random things down when I'm bored, and then toss them somewhere and never look at them again.

You can probably guess that Mom went insane upon seeing it, though. She started ranting to Dad to talk to me about it, as if it was really a serious matter. But it's cool now. I'm probably not going to hear the end of it from Mom, though.

Also KN helped me fix up my laptop, to an extent. Hey, I have sound and graphics now! :D Now, the Internet connection I could probably work on next. Let's hope I succeed in my quest. If not, at least I can play games and listen to muzak on it.

Oh, and SKF scripts! I have a few new ideas I'm trying to develop plots about. A few of my ideas include me going undercover as a woman to investigate a sorority, the FCC taking over the town and censoring everything (which I've been working on a comic about it school), an obvious Clone High parody, and Goliath hunting down some dude that screwed his restaurant's health inspection over.

THIS ONE'S PRETTY LONG. SORRY.

Week nine.

Monday: Pretty much as soon as first period starts, my teacher sends me to the nurse because my coughing fits were acting up like crazy. Turns out I had a fever of 100, too, which... doesn't seem that big a deal to me, since it's only 1.4 degrees higher than the normal temperature. I got sent home fairly swiftly, and went to the doctor FINALLY. The good news is, I got medicine that's supposed to stop the coughing fits and postnasal drip and cure my upper respiratory infection. The bad news, it doesn't really seem to be working. At all. Hell, I'm having a coughing fit RIGHT NOW. Literally, while I'm typing this, I'm coughing like crazy. Though it may be because people keep smoking in here, and we live in a tiny trailer.

Tuesday: I returned to school. Everyone was asking me if I was okay, which is odd because I was no sicker than usual. Seriously, I've been sick for OVER A YEAR. Why would they start noticing NOW? Not that I'm pissed off or anything, I'm just curious as to what the point is.

Wednesday: I accidentally skipped school because I slept through the entire school day. I shrugged it off and did my usual thing, playing video games, screwing around with my shitty laptop, writing random thoughts (which I will never need again) down on paper, masturbating, roleplaying with myself, listening to music, etc.

Thursday: I explained why I missed school to my teacher. I didn't get in trouble or anything. She said it was probably a good thing because I needed the sleep. Which is true, because four or five hours of sleep a day for 180 days can't be very healthy. I got out of math and science because once again, me and this one chick in my class, Jessica, went to the homeless shelter. Our first task was to rip turkeys apart, then we ate and then we served the food. Lulzy things happened during this time. At one point, some random guy came up and started drinking Jess' soda for no reason. It was even funnier because they were giving out free sodas a few feet away. This other random guy was continually walking around, staring at us and pacing around the desserts. Whilest we were serving, Jess was acting really weird (which I attributed to hanging out with me too much), in a hard-to-describe way. She told me she was just in a good mood, but IT'S A LIE. MY THEORY IS THE CORRECT ONE. We also accidentally dropped the garlic bread we'd been serving several times. Also, in the car, the chick who's been taking us gave us some kind of little oranges called clementines. Jess had already knew what they were and offered me one. I, of course, had no idea what the fuck it was, and tried to figure out how to at it. After I'd already taken a bite, they explained that I'm not supposed to eat the peel. A little too late for that, but okay. Then for fourth period, almost as soon as we got back, our whole class (or at least, the ones who were able to go, which ended up only being four this time) went to a nursing home to play Bingo with old people. Jess was the caller, and I was sitting next to her trying to persuade her to call my numbers out. Didn't work. I never won, but I got damn close every time. Thursday was epic. Sorry for this paragraph being so fucking long.

Friday: Early dismissal. For first block/period, reading, THERE WERE ONLY TWO PEOPLE THERE. Me and this one other girl (not Jess this time). We had our usual fifteen minutes of reading, then our literature circle in which we discuss what we read. We also had a guest visiting. I think he was the school's superintendent, whatever that is. That's like a principal or something, right? I don't know, whatever. He was there, anyway. I'm currently reading a book called Cruise Control, which is apparently a sequel to Stuck in Neutral, which was the last book I read. Once I'm done I should look into finding those books someone recommended to me. Anyway, we also had some food, like we do pretty much every Friday. The teachers' aide brought in some cookie-type things and a casserole. The casserole didn't go over too well. It was OKAY, but I don't care much for things like that. I forget what happened second block, but a few more kids showed up. Not many, though. Everyone skipped school because of the early dismissal. For third block we played a game called Apples to Apples. I LOVE THAT GAME. Many epic lulz happen during that game. The object is to lay down a card from your hand that best matches the word on the card that the judge lays down, and the judge picks which one he/she likes best, and whoever laid it down wins. For example, today, one of the words was "perfect", and I was a smartass and laid down "Adolf Hitler". I like being a smartass like that; it's so much fun. ^^

THIS IS AN ENTRY

Week eight.

I <3 Pixies. Definitely being added to my list of favorite bands. I also bought Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, but I haven't listened to it the whole way through yet. Money is a good song, but I don't really like the others so far. Sorry, guys. D:

The other day in school I way pretty hyper. In block two (Math), we were doing some sort of math problems, right? So this chick makes a joke comparing schoolwork to anuses, saying that they both smell bad. So of course, I, with my impecible sense of timing, jump in with "AND THEY TASTE GOOD". The entire class laughed like crazy, including the teachers. I wonder if they even knew I was referring to anilingus. :p

Later on, in block three (science), we were being taught about populations and evolution and shit, right? So when the teacher starts talking aboot nonrandom mating and mating rituals and stuff, I randomly shout out "MATING DANCE" and do this retarded dance, rubbing my tits. It got a few good laughs, but not nearly as much as the hilarity of the anilingus joke. I've been doing that same dance a lot lately. Everyone either loves it or says "oh God...". So I guess school is going pretty well! ^_^

Also, I'm doing well academically, much to my dismay. I hate to say it, but I accidentally retained a lot of the stuff I'm learning in science. Hell, everyone copied all my answers (which were 100% correct, by the way) today. DAMMIT, WHY CAN'T I FORGET ALL THIS?! However, math is really kicking the shit out of me. Figuratively. In science, we're still learning about populations, and them five enviromental factors: gene flow, genetic drift, nonrandom mating, mutation and natural selection. ...SEE?! I CAN'T FUCKING FORGET THIS. WHY?!?!?!?! And in math, we're doing Algebra. Something called the distributive property, which is confusing as hell. I hate math so damn much.

~Nick

THE LIFE OF NICK BATE: BOREDOM, INSANITY, AND PAIN

Okay, well, KN pointed out to me that I made some kind of mathematical error there, which I don't quite understand, but my argument still stands. Now, shying away from that, I live a very boring life on weekdays (hell, I live a boring life on weekends!). I've been so bored, in fact, that this week I started recording my CDs onto casette tapes. CASETTE TAPES. Think about that. I have CDs. So why in the hell would I need casette tapes?! Maybe for on-the-road listening, but still...fuck. I've also began playing Final Fantasy Tactics again, after going several weeks without playing video games (which I blame on either my ADD or depression).

I'm also trying to think up good songs to go on a soundtrack. It's for school. I'm supposed to burn my own CD with lyrics relevant to the book. So far I've figured out about four of the required eight. It's tough because of, you know, the book is just plain hard to make a soundtrack for.

Another thing, my pulled-muscle'd arm is still in pain. In fact, seems to be even worse (again). Now it even hurts when I cough, for some reason. And my coughing fits are acting up like crazy today, so that's a shitty combination right there. I also woke up with a headache and major sweating going on, but those problems quickly went away. I probably had a nightmare or something, but I don't remember having any dreams, so yeah. It was probably brought on by watching the Zapruder film the night before. Though it really didn't even disturb me... especially after flushing it out of my mind by watching videos of cute kittens...

AN ADULT-ORIENTED COMPLAINT!

Week... uh... seven? Dude, Thursday (They Day) was the greatest day of this year's school ever so far. Not just because it was They Day and I came into school with "THEY" written on my forehead. Like, I was gone all day on field trips again, mostly when I went with two other kids to the homeless shelter. I told them aboot my love of anal sex. They found it gross for some reason. But everybody had several good laughs aboot it for the rest of the day. I don't understand why people automatically hate anal sex without having ever tried it. Statistically, approximately 35% of straight couples have had anal sex at least once, and around 50% of gay couples, too. So that means, like, 85% percent of all people have anal sex. SO TRY IT, PEOPLE. DAMN.

WEEK SIX.

The story of a man and his mom.

Brought to you by the sick minds at Batia Studios.

A brand new b-movie.

"Incest: The Movie"

He came out of his mom's vagina... and now he's GOING BACK IN!

Coming to theaters near you.

07/07/17