ALSO, I ACCIDENTALLY GRADUATED.

Yeah. I graduated high school. The social worker at school told me I somehow already met all the requirements for graduation, so it was too late to drop out. I'm none to happy aboot this, considering now my life is ruined. And even if I kill myself, it wouldn't do any good either because I'll still be a high school graduate in the afterlife. I WILL BE THE ONLY DEPRESSED PERSON IN HEAVEN. >C To add insult to fatal injury, my aunt threw me a graduation party. But first, she took me out to the mall to get me an iPod. Finally. 'Cause, like, for the longest time now she's been buying me crappy generic MP3 players because she doesn't understand the concept of things existing that aren't brand names. So, she said once I graduate she'll let me pick out any iPod I want. This did not happen. When we got there, I showed her all the iPods and she decided they were too expensive and ended up only getting me an iPod Nano. A FUCKING NANO. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ONLY 8 GIGABYTES?! So that was a shitty graduation gift. Especially considering, ya know, my life and afterlife are fucking ruined and absolutely no good came of it. I did manage to buy a few things at the mall using my own money, though. Namely some pocky, another Rozen Maiden DVD, and the new Green Day album. Then of course was the actual party. Which I received NO GIFTS AT ALL at. We ate tacos, had cake, that was it. I mean, I got $95, but still. How do they expect me to buy things if I'm not allowed on the Internet? Then they sprayed me with silly string. They seem to think it's funny, but it's not. So yeah, it sucked pretty bad. So then I pretty much spent the rest of the day using the stuff I got from the mall and playing Pokémon, but then my mom got scared and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything, I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes, to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo holmes, smell ya later!" I looked at my kingdom; I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.