Ann's Side of The Story on Kiwi Farms

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Hello, this is Anna. Yes, that Anna. Seriously. I know I cannot prove to you that it is, in fact, me, but please read this regardless. I want to address what happened and give my side of the story, and to address a few bits of misinformation. I do hope this info is of use.

This is gonna be a long post, and I do apologize for that; however, the full story is far too long to condense. Given the length of it, I'll post it under a spoiler.

Nick and I first met on a wiki for a long-forgotten webtoon several years ago. I was, I believe, 13 at the time--possibly 12, but given the timeline, 13 seems a bit more probable, so it almost certainly would have been in 2006 (my birthday is fairly early in the year). We became fast friends, because I was too fucking stupid to see that he was a creepy bastard.

In retrospect, there were a number of red flags that I really wish I had noticed. He was always clingy towards me, and frequently brought up his creepy fetishes. But, again, I didn't really notice. (Gimme a break--I was 13 and stupid.)

We actually became close enough that we would write actual, physical letters to each other. I had--and continue to have--several penpals, and I trusted him enough to give him my mailing address. This was, obviously, a huge mistake. So was exchanging cell phone numbers with him. Say it with me: I WAS 13 AND STUPID.

Now, there's one thing that I must note: I never gave Nick my home phone number or my street address. (The latter is different from my mailing address--my podunk little town runs on the P.O. box system.) This will be important later on.

His behavior didn't truly start scaring me until sometime in 2008. I remember him comforting me after a falling-out with a friend, which occurred about midway through the summer, but I was already starting to get a bit weirded out by the guy at this point. I wish I could remember what the straw that broke the camel's back was, but I really don't. All I know is that at some point, I blocked him on every IM client I used at the time.

For the next few months, I kept my fears secret from my parents, out of (unfounded, thank God) concern that they would blame me for what had happened. I distinctly remember my mom telling me I'd received a letter from him in (I think) October of 2008, and I told her to throw it away, saying he had been a dick and we weren't friends anymore. (Technically true, I suppose, but reductive at best.) However, this cover was blown late in the year--at some point in either late November or December, he called my house.

As I mentioned before, I NEVER gave Nick my home phone number, so I was naturally terrified. Luckily, my mom managed to cover for me, and was able to hang up. He hasn't called back since, as far as I know.

Obviously, the whole story came spilling out then. I'm very, very fortunate that my parents have been loving and supportive throughout this whole trial.

I must admit that I did not completely cut off contact with Nick at first. In fact, my old Twitter shows that I still talked to him up until late August of 2009. (Dumb as fuck of me, I know.) None of what I said to him was pleasant. Here are a few notable tweets from that old account of mine.http://i.imgur.com/MBoMGhi.png

Additionally, a (former) friend of mine by the name of Jessa--who I believe has been mentioned in this thread a few times--would try to organize "Anna Therapy", as she called it, in an attempt to make him less obsessed with me. This "therapy" consisted of MSN conversations between the three of us. Needless to say, it did absolutely nothing to help.

Fast-forward a bit, to 2011 and the infamous 789chan thread(s). This was where Maddi entered the picture--she had also been dealing with harrassment from Nick, and, if I recall correctly, may have been the OP of the initial thread. (She and I are actually pretty good friends these days, but that's irrelevant.) I also recall having to get my cell phone number changed roughly around the same time, since Nick would not stop texting me.

Another notable thing about 2011 is that I lost my virginity that year. Nick was insistent that this never actually happened and that I was lying about it. (When I came out as gay about a year and a half later, having realized that I wasn't actually attracted to men, he took that as "proof" that we hadn't "done stuff".) He began threatening to kill my then-boyfriend (who admittedly did egg Nick on a bit, though certainly not enough to earn death threats).

In general, Nick has not approved of any of my life decisions, such as starting college or dating people who aren't him. Hell, I'm pretty sure he didn't even want me to finish high school--I know he viewed dropping out as some sort of achievement, and I'm sure he was unhappy that I did, in fact, graduate.

I should also note that, fortunately, Nick has not attempted to contact me directly for a few years now. This is a small mercy, however, given that--as you all know, of course--he still tweets about me incessantly. I live in genuine fear that someday he'll try to contact me again, or worse, show up outside my house.

And that's the story from my end. I've probably forgotten a few things, but that's the general gist of it.

Now, to clear a few things up and add some extra info:

-I'm not sure where the idea that I was born in Canada came from. I was born in North Carolina and moved to California when I was six, and have never been a long-term resident of any other country, Canada obviously included. It's possible there's some confusion with Jessa there, since she actually is from Canada; however, I seem to recall him having an obsession with the country pretty much since we met.

-Regarding the Amber thing, I'm not sure he ever brought it up with me. (The Anna he was chatting with in the IM log posted in this thread is the other Anna, the one who lives in Britain or something. I don't know much about her, just that she's also named Anna.) However, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that he did indeed molest her. I'm fairly sure he did admit to me that he's a pedophile, and given everything else about him, I've no reason to doubt that.

-Humorously enough, several of the things on Nick's "ideal girlfriend" list don't apply to me. I have several piercings and a tattoo with plans for more of both, I'm an agnostic deist rather than a Christian (though I was raised Anglo-Catholic), I'm actually a bit flinchy about physical contact and thus wouldn't call myself a "hug monster", I have a vagina, I'm not into poop, and I'm not a virgin. The one that strikes me as odd is the "not a vegetarian" thing, though. I was actually raised vegetarian, and remained so until I was around 17. I guess that just proves how little he cares about me as a person, that he doesn't know that.

-I'm sure this has already been mentioned, but Bate isn't his real last name--his full name is Nickalaus Stoutzenberger. (Yes, really.) He's also been using "Nick Nickel" as an alias lately, as shown on his Twitter--Nickel being my last name.

-Any references to someone named "Jo" on his Twitter are of special note. My given name is Johanna, though I've gone exclusively by Anna since before meeting Nick. Jo was a childhood nickname, and for some time he used that on his Twitter to refer to me, apparently as an incredibly shitty attempt at obfuscating who he was truly referring to.

-My family and I did attempt to get the authorities involved--several times, in fact. However, the sheriff dismissed our concerns entirely, and the DA was unable to do much given the fact that Nick lives in another state.

All in all, Nick is a terrible excuse for a human being. He's an abusive, manipulative borderline sociopath with no regard for other people, he's quite likely delusional (I say "quite likely" because it's entirely possible he doesn't believe a word he says about fate and God and all that), and he's disgusting on every possible level. I truly hope he gets locked up, and frankly I won't feel entirely safe in the world unless and until he does.

Thanks for reading. I hope I was able to shed some light on the situation.

Ed Note: Here's the link.