a Christmas thing I drew.

ogod, my Computer Animation notebook

@RaptorGrant idk it didn't go well

I dunno. Eating chocolate.

caramel apple!

well, here's my fedora

My first ever side-view photo!

They Day '11!

colder seasons = t-shirts

Stuff That's Wrong With Nick

A currently incomplete list of things that are wrong with Nick, divided up into five categories. Enjoy.

Contents  [hide] 1 Physically 2 Mentally 3 Emotionally 4 Sexually 5 Spiritually 6 Abnormal Non-Problematic Stuff / Stuff Wrong With My Family

[edit]Physically

• I have cramps in my foot every once in a while. I think it's like, once a month or so, but that's just an estimate.
• Occasionally I have cramps in other body parts, too, such as my neck and back.
• I have acne on my forehead, as well as a bit on my legs, arms, face, etc.
• A shower door fell on my left foot a long time ago, crushing my big toe, so the toenail there is all gross and yellow and tender.
• I'm very weak. I can't lift much weight at all. I can barely lift my one cat, Grayson.
• Ummm, I'm ugly.
• I have very low stamina, and can't run for very long. A few seconds at most, and then I need a loooooooong break.
• I am unable to hold my breath for more than around 17 seconds (my record). I have very bad lung capacity, presumably from smoking pot, or from secondhand tobacco smoke.
• On certain days, I have uncontrollable coughing fits. This is only on some days. There's no pattern, as far as I know. Apparently is has something to do with postnasal drip, because I keep coughing up mucus. It's really gross.
• I have a scar on my right hand from this one time at an amusement park when I touched the side of this huge slide while I was going down it, and the friction ripped some skin off.
• I wear glasses for being nearsighted. Apparently my vision has gotten even worse since I started wearing them.
• I often have back pains.
• This one time I walked 0.41 miles on this exercise machine thingy, and for at least three days afterward, my one leg was in a great deal of pain, and I was limping. Also I almost passed out.
• My voice sucks. It's all monotone and stuff.
• My fingers and toes are crooked.
• My bunghole has been without TP for many years.

[edit]Mentally

• I am failing all my school subjects, even Bible somehow. It is on purpose for the most part.
• I have been diagnosed with ADD.
• I'm writing a list of stuff that's wrong with me.
• I believe that Kentucky Don't Exist.
• Most of my friends believe I have Asperger's syndrome. I'm pretty sure I do, too. No, you don't. YES I DO.
• I'm afraid of many, many things, mostly stupid stuff that nobody else in teh universe would be afraid of.
• I'm stupid. I have some common sense, but not much. I also lack knowledge of pop culture, everyday terms, and lots of other stuff. I plan to keep it that way.
• I can't stand certain noises, such as vacuums or styrofoam.
• A lot of materials in clothing I can't stand, either. So I only wear loose-fitting, smooth clothes.
• I'm a hypochondriac.
• I talk to myself a lot. But in my defense, it's usually because I'm roleplaying and I don't have anyone to roleplay with, so I do it with myself.
• I have lots of obsessions, most of which only last a brief time, and then I move on to a new obsession.
• I have what my family calls "selective memory", I can sometimes remember stuff like TMBG, Bonus Stage, etcetera, but am unable to remember school-type stuff.
• I am good at following specific directions, but if they're vague or if I'm given options, I'll be completely lost, and stand there looking stupid and clueless until someone helps me.

[edit]Emotionally

• I am more feminine than masculine.
• I cry a lot. Though if there's people around I don't do it out loud.
• I'm a sissy/wimp/coward, etc. and I have a very low tolerance for pain.
• For some reason, my feelings have been hurt only three times in my entire life.
• I'm generally apathetic aboot things that have nothing to do with me or Anna.
• I like cats more than most humans.
• I succumb to jealousy.
• I get really pissed off easily, to the point where I pick up whatever object is lying around and bash people in the head with it. This usually only happens with Mom.

[edit]Sexually

• I'm a pervert. I have many, many fetishes, including BDSM, anal sex, panties, scatophilia, etc.
• My penis is very small. It's only four and a half inches when fully erect. The average size for my age is six inches, meaning I'm an inch and a half too small.
• It takes me a very long time to orgasm (somewhere around an hour or more). Rarely I can manage to do it in around twenty minutes, but only if I'm not distracted by anything, and I have to be really, really horny.
• I do not like vaginas. They are gross.
• I'm not gay, but I would like to be done up teh butt by a chick with a strap-on.
• At one point, I wanted to be a chick, but then decided not to because I was afraid of periods and childbirth.
• I'm a transvestite.

[edit]Spiritually

• Despite being a Christian, I sin like, all the time. Stealing, lying, cheating, etc.
• Often when I'm praying, I ramble on and on aboot stuff. Plus, I talk to God exactly like I talk to my friends, and saying "and like..." and "and stuff" all the time.
• Also I'm probably not praying correctly anyway.
• I get pissed off easily by people who are overly-religious, like Christians who say Halloween, Pokémon, jackin' off, video games, etcetera are against God. I often flame those kinds of people.
• Most of my friends are atheists, I think. I don't know, I haven't really asked many people what religion they are.

[edit]Abnormal Non-Problematic Stuff / Stuff Wrong With My Family

• I sometimes practice cryokinesis and tai-chi/qi-gong/whatever.
• Some people claim that I'm really smart. It's obvious that I'm not, though.
• I have an evil/abusive Mom and stepdad.
• Nanny has high blood pressure, so I may inherit that someday. I most likely will.
• My mom has only two teeth. I think they might be fake.
• My dad used to be an alchoholic. I'll probably inherit that, too.
• He also has problems with several organs, so yeah I'm screwed.

AN ATTEMPT TO NOT BE WHINY

'Sup. I had two entries ready for posting, but flaked at the last minute. They were too whiny. I refuse to be perceived as one of those entitled punk kids who think they have the right to mooch off people and get whatever they want without giving anything in return and stuff. I am not one of those punk kids. So rather than going into detail, here's some brief summaries. Or possibly boxer summaries. Or Hanes summaries, which are supposedly neither one nor the other.

September 1st was my 20th birthday. As always, it was a disappointment. I was really counting on getting something I can connect to the Internet with, like a laptop or iPad or netbook or DSi or something. Did not happen. Pretty PO'd. Also ran out of phone minutes two hours before my birthday and still haven't gotten the money for more, so I haven't had contact with anyone for a few weeks, which sucked. Also, someone who isn't in my address book texted me a couple times. Since I'm out of minutes, I can't open it to see who it was or what they wanted. It's driving me crazy. What if someone kidnapped someone and told me to do stuff within a certain time limit or else they kill them? D:

Also, we had the aftershock of an earthquake and two hurricanes. I didn't get any damage but I hear nearby towns were devastated and some people died. I dunno why natural disasters never seem to do anything here, but hey man, I'm cool with it.

I think a ghost may have molested me. I accidentally fell asleep with my unit hanging out one day, and then I dreamt someone was touching my scrotum. And I actually felt hands on it p realistically, which scared me awake. Then I noticed that somehow the blanket had been pulled down past my dingus. So uh, that happened. I sure hope you can't get STDs from ghosts. I mean, I'd assume no because you kinda have to have a body to have diseases, but I dunno. I shouldn't make assumptions. I'll be an ass and an ump will shun me. Ghosts seem to take on the appearance of bodies somehow, so you never know, maybe they can mimic attributes of bodies as well, such as having diseases. Maybe I should get tested just in case.

September 11th was the 10th anniversary of the release of my favourite band They Might Be Giants' eighth album Mink Car. I drew a thing to commemorate it. Also drew a few other things, which is weird because I haven't really been in much of a drawing mood for years.

There was an incident with Joyce yelling at me for no reason. I snapped and went into one of my mouth-foaming unintelligible-screaming spells again, which rarely happens (just like me being a kitten!). I managed to not assault anyone this time though. My biological family are all jerks. I wish I could live with Maddi instead. But I probably can't, on account o' she's a minor. I dunno. I'll ask her.
Plan B is living with Jessa, but she temporarily dislikes me for some reason, so I need to devise a

Plan C.
That's p much it.

why must all cats jump onto my back?

moar cats

The World's Worst Guitarist

everything is connected

the Nick pretending to sleep

cats on mah lap

warning: gross close-up of rotting teeth

here.

why is my cat doing this?

here's that thing i think is a bomb.

speech bubbles are fun.

This... is the best thing I've ever seen

cough cough

Here's Andy in the cat bed

Cats ERV'RYWHERE!

A huge ass-burrito

Ed Note: I wonder if he enjoys jail house burritos. Its a mixture of Doritos, Ramen, hot water, and a beef stick. Here's a link to the recipe; http://www.therooster.com/blog/recipe-month-jailhouse-burrito

idk, I forget

PART THREE: JOIN US REVIEW

Normally whenever there's a new TMBG album I discuss every track in-depth with A Specific Person, but now that they hate me I have no one to do this with anymore, which sucks. With Here Comes Science it wasn't as big a deal since it was a children's album, but this time it really hurts because it's the first adult album we can't discuss. I mean yeah we can totally do it once we become friends again, but by then they'll have already gotten all of it out of their system with their other friends. So yeah. :/ But I guess I'll do a little bit here of reviewing here, on LJ. In this entry. Right now. Okay, so, Join Us.

My favourite tracks are "Can't Keep Johnny Down", "You Probably Get That a Lot", "Old Pine Box", "Canajoharie", "Cloisonné", "Let Your Hair Hang Down", "The Lady and the Tiger", "2082", and "Three Might Be Duende".

The best part of "Can't Keep Johnny Down", IMO, is the fact that "dick" is used as an adjective. That line makes me laugh every time. Plus it's just a really good song.
I was reading the liners on the ride home from the record store, and upon reading the lyrics to "You Probably Get That a Lot", I had to ask my drivers what in the blazes a "cephalophore" is. Upon looking it up on her phone, Wendy told me it's apparently a Greek mythology thing (typical TMBG, right?). A cephalophore is apparently someone that can live without a head. This amused the crap out of me because Adult Swim just started airing a new anime aboot a cephalaphore. Except she's a dulahan. But it sounds like p much the same thing. But anyway, the song has a p catchy hook. While I'm terrible at distinguishing genres apart, it seems to be a pop song similar to "Ana Ng". Idk, I could be wrong, so don't quote me on that.

"Old Pine Box" is pretty good too. I don't really know what else to say aboot it. I just like it, okay?
The video of "Canajoharie" played live already had me hooked on the song, and to my shock the finished version was even better! Like "Can't Keep Johnny Down", it's a really infectious rock song. I especially enjoy the bridge, which A) has a bassline that refuses to get out of my head, and B) seems to have backwards accordion.

"Cloisonné" stands out from the previous four tracks in that rather than being pop/rock, it's more old-school TMBG that I can't really figure out how to label with a genre. Reminds me of "Stalk of Wheat" or something though, idk. I'm always a sucker for brass sections, and this song indeed has one.

"Let Your Hair Hang Down" is another 60's/70's/80's-style pop song similar to "Twisting" or "Bangs". And by that I don't mean the lyrics. But now that I think of it, yes, the lyrics are similar to "Bangs" too. I mean, they're both aboot hair. That should be kinda obvious.

"Celebration" mentions Anonymous. I wonder how they're going to react to that? Also it's like their most mainstream-sounding song ever.

I can guarantee you that Certain People I Could Name are going to post that "When Will You Die" makes them think of me. While that depresses me, I'm not letting it ruin the song for me. Not one of my favourites from the album, but still a solid song.

To exact Prevenge for "When Will You Die", I am reminded of That Person by "Never Knew Love". Because they p clearly have never known love. But um, let's not get into that again. I wasn't all that thrilled with this particular song; it doesn't really stand out. It's not bad though.
"The Lady and the Tiger" is TMBG attempting and succeeding at rap. When the tracklisting was first revealed I was crossing my fingers and hoping that this track was a re-titling of "No Answer". Sadly, it was not. But it's still a great song in its own right.

"2082" and "Three Might Be Duende" are both p much more old-school TMBG. The latter is probably my favourite track from Join Us. Also of note is that a duende is basically a specific type of goblin in Mexican mythology. I was not aware Mexico had mythology before. Well, except for El Chupacabra. Turns out they do. I wonder if it's really a march like the lyrics claim?

As a whole, Join Us seems to be mostly straghtforward alt-rock. It also seems to have a lot of added studio effects, much like Flood and Mink Car. Also Join Us seems to have a lot of "Beatles stereo" like they did with "(She Thinks She's) Edith Head" and "Robot PArade (Adult Version)". While I'd prefer they stick to simple, raw sounds, they're still TMBG and they can do whatever and it'll still be amazing. I'm also glad to witness the return of the accordion after their last adult album, The Else, lacked it completely. Keep up the good work, They!

PS - This may just be my CD (I hope not considering it's brand new), but I keep hearing a lot of clicks/pops. I actually investigated one of them. At like 1:16 in "You Probably Get That a Lot" there's one, so I tried ripping it again. And it was still there. So I dunno. I also think I heard some on "Canajoharie" and "Three Might Be Duende". Maybe more. Idk, hopefully it's in the actual songs.

PART TWO: MORE EMO WHINING

In this entry, I'm gonna be doing a lot of whining. Don't worry, it's not aboot Anna for once. It's something else. The *chan thing. LJ Cut time!

The situation with the channers is starting to get to me. I'm p much over all my accounts being hijacked, so now I'm focused on the other thing. You know, the stuff they keep posting aboot me. Psychoanalyzing me and whatnot. I seriously hate when people do that. My biological mom's been doing it my whole life, telling people I do weird things to get attention. It's the most annoying thing. It's completely untrue, and in fact, is the polar opposite of the truth. I don't know why people keep ignoring the fact that I really hate being around other people... I literally just want to live alone in some secluded wilderness with my wife and kids, far away from any other people. Except if/when our friends visit or whatever. That'd be fine. It'd be cool to hang out with Jessa and Maddi irl. Y'know, if Jessa ever likes me again. Other than my immediate non-biological family and friends I would really rather nobody knows I even exist (which I guess is ruined now). Also, I don't even understand people who do do weird stuff for attention. I mean, yes, it's really sad that society sucks and hates everything, but shouldn't they be doing something that is accepted by society instead? Like, if someone wanted attention, couldn't they just become an actor or start a band or something? Idk. I just do weird stuff because I actually like the stuff. It's who I am. I suppose it would probably be smart to not tell people aboot my quirks, but meh. I don't like lying or hiding things. It feels really wrong and my friends wouldn't even really be my friends-- they'd be friends with a lie. :/

But anyway yeah, the thing that really bothers me is how they word stuff. Normally I wouldn't even pay any mind to untrue rumours (and even less to things that are actually true), but the way they never use "weasel words" really strikes a nerve. It makes it sound as if the stuff has been confirmed somehow, like I admitted to it or something, so people who don't know the whole story read the stuff and assume it's true. Even when they say, like, "he did this stuff, but denies it", that still doesn't help anything because then it sounds like I'm in denial or something. (Btw, they actually do say I'm in denial too, so that sucks.) If it were a few people saying things aboot me, I wouldn't care so much considering I already have all of you-know-who's friends doing it, but dayumn. I don't know how many people are on that imageboard, but I assume anywhere from hundreds to hundreds of thousands. So like, a tenth of the world hates me or whatever the fraction would be. I dunno, I suck at math. Let's see... what are some of the other things they keep saying? Um, well okay, I saw that this one guy had a theory on why I don't want The Thing to happen. Again, no weasel words were used. He said something along the lines of I'm being selfish and just want A Thing to myself. And some other guy for some reason thought I treat women like objects. That's... I can't even... Dude, everyone who knows me knows I'm p much the least bigoted person ever! >_<

And I guess someone referred to my catchphrase "Kentucky Don't Exist!" as a forced meme. Not exactly an insult, but still. Not a meme, yo. It was never intended to catch on. It's just my thing. And some idiot was all "lololol he doesn't know what words mean" in response to my FF7 video. No, you fool; I meant I was working on a perfect game but haven't completed it yet. It's incomplete. And, um, a couple people were saying I used something called "circular logic" in trying to defend myself, and I guess using circular logic makes your argument automatically invalid somehow? I dunno, it sounds stupid. No matter how I try to defend myself they pull out some science word explaining why everything I say is wrong. Also, "Everything Right Is Wrong Again". So then I just gave up. Hopefully everyone just stops caring by themselves and leaves me alone. But probably not. Because they're dicks. In a dick town. Okay, Nick, that's enough TMBG references for today.

I don't even get why they're doing this. What's the point in picking on someone who's different? What on earth do you gain from it? They would've actually gained more by not changing my passwords, because then I could continue posting things and they could lol aboot how stupid I am or whatever. Plus, everyone is different in some way. Why are some characteristics privvy to ridicule but not others? What are the exact mechanics that determine which traits people persecute others for possessing? The whole thing seems stupid to me. Speaking of stupid things, I also read that some people were lolling aboot how I think people would actually care aboot the mundane things I post on Twitter and whatnot. ...Um. Are you, like, completely new to Twitter or something? The whole point of the site is to post mundane shit nobody would get enjoyment out of. You don't post the stuff to entertain other people, you just do it because it's fun. I'm well aware nobody likes my tweets. I'm not tweeting for them, geez. Also, sometimes I write myself notes so I don't forget stuff. I dunno, literally absolutely nothing they say makes any sense whatsoever. Sometimes I wonder if they actually believe the dumb things they're saying or if they're just screwing with me.

Also, irritated by people making fun of my art. The Coffee Crew is a cartoon - it's intetionally drawn in a cartoony style. You're supposed to be focusing on the writing, not the art. That's why you never hear people bitch aboot the art on other cartoons, like South Park or Family Guy or Bonus Stage or whatever. Although yeah, the writing I've posted sucks too. I've been working on it though. The last comics I posted were from, like, 2007 or something, weren't they? I've gotten better at both the art and writing since then, but still have this complex that a script has to be perfect before I make it into a cartoon. I've got good storylines and good jokes, but I'm havin' trouble finding a good balance of the two. Seems like I can only do one or the other. It's tough getting humour to come up organically in the storylines, and if I focus on just humour then there's no plot. And I want plot. And that's why there's still been zero episodes after six years (well it's between that, my lack of equipment, not having reliable Internet access, and my voice actors hating me)! I wish I could describe what I intend for The Coffee Crew to to be like, but I dunno how to. Some dude theorized that I'm trying to be like Jhonen Vasquez. I don't know who that is so I can neither confirm nor deny. I assume it was meant as an insult though. But anyway, enough emo shit.

Finally, there's one last topic I wanted to discuss. You know that disease I've had since 2006 but haven't figured out what it is? Well, a new thing happened with it that maybe someone can make sense of and diagnose me. So, one recent morning I decided to sleep in the opposite direction, with my head nearer to the air conditioner, which was turned on. I slept for maybe two hours and then woke up for no reason, and suddenly my nose was clear (it's constantly stuffy), the roof of my mouth was really cold, and-- not to be gross, but it's kinda unavoidable when discussing my ailments-- my mouth was filled up with some sort of goo, presumably either snot, stomach acid, semen or spinal fluid because I hovered over the sink and opened my mouth, and it was kinda whitish and thick and dripped out really slowly. My mouth is constantly filled with goo, but this time it was a lot more than usual. However, not as much as years ago when I used to have attacks after eating certain foods. Then, after spitting it all out I turned the air conditioner off and laid back down the other way, and the random burning in my chest/upper-abdomen happened. Sometimes I think maybe the chest/upper-abdomen thing is unrelated to the mouth-goo, but occasionally they seem to overlap. But then again, I dunno, they're in two completely different body parts. Also, dunno if either one is related to the cough or not. Sometimes it seems like the burning happens first, then I have the coughing fit, and then my mouth fills up, but not always. Also, my esophagus used to make weird noises occasionally. It might just be a red herring, though, as it stopped when I accidentally graduated from high school (quite literally right afterwards, which is suspicious), and one of my friends (whom shall remain nameless due to a recent incident in which they got mad at me for telling someone something aboot them that I didn't realize was a secret (kinda seems like maybe they should've told me it was a secret when they told it to me, but whatev)) who has/had it too never mentioned having any other symptoms in common with me. So I dunno. Someone, figure out what in the fudge is wrong with me so I can take the correct medication. Back when I was still insured and consequentially able to see a doctor, he misdiagnosed me three times until I was like "okay, not even bothering anymore". And that's the end of today's LJ entry.

With platonic love (except to jerks),

Dr. Nickalaus "Nick" B.S.L.B.N., Ph.D.
Attending Physician
Nick's Proctology Hospital

PS - I'm not making fun of Canadians. This is literally how I talk, even irl. Canadians don't even really say "aboot" or "eh". It's just a stereotype. Well I mean, I'm sure some do say that stuff (considering there's 60 billion people on Earth, none of whom are exactly the same), but for that matter so do people from other countries, so yeah. Not an exclusive Canadian thing. Again, I'm the least bigoted person ever. (Also, swing that judgmental pendulum back the other way-- don't you think it's kinda odd that as soon as you see me saying "aboot" you thought of Canadians? ;D)

PS2 - Hi, channers. I just responded to every one of your posts. Would you kindly sit and spin now? Go on, git. Take your ridiculously incorrect armchair psychology elsewhere. St. Elsewhere.

PSP - No, I'm not really a doctor. It's a thing that I do. God! Stop forcing me to explain things! It ruins it!

PS3 - I would never lie aboot someone behind their back. Not only is it just plain wrong and would make me and my conspirators terrible people, but also the innocent strangers who read the post and thus weren't informed that it was a lie would think it's the truth, so now I'm lying to a bunch more people. And what if the person I was lying aboot found out somehow? Say, if the person I lied to, whom I don't realize knows the lie-victim's name, looked up all their dox and gave them a call? Because as well as I'd think we covered all the angles to support the illusion, they'd still know it's a lie. Bet they'd be p angry when they find out, probably never speak to me again. Maybe take mutual friends with them, too. They'd be especially enraged if I did it just to piss someone off. Techically I could do a thing that would make the lie not a lie anymore, but that would be incredibly stupid. The stupidest thing ever, in fact. Plus they could still be told that the lie occurred before it became a not-lie. And they would be provided with proof of the date. Maybe the only way to not be snitched on is to never make the lie true. Ever. And I'd have to not do anything in the whole arena of the lie, not just the specific thing I lied aboot. And I couldn't just say I won't do the thing(s). They'd have their ways of knowing if I'm really sticking to my promise or not. There'd be many layers to their awareness of my actions. Even though I'd take actions to "BLOCK" the first, most obvious layer, and even the previously-hidden-but-suspicious second layer may have been revealed, there'd still be many more layers I'm not aware of and will never be aware of. Yeah.

PART ONE: HOME LIFE

'Sup gais. So, okay, I typed up three different LJ entry drafts during the month I've been offline. I'mma post them all in a three-part series entitled "Stuff That Happened During the Month I've Been Online: The Trilogy". Part One: "Home Life", Part Two: "More Emo Whining", Part Three: "'Join Us' Review". This is part one. LJ Cut time! Note that paragraph four (this one here, outside of the Cut, is included in that count) is disturbing. Skip that one if you don't want to hear aboot weird fetishes. I'm considering using that disclaimer from now on. Y'know, in light of the *chan thing. I dunno though, seems like a pain to have to do it every time I post disturbing things. Because I post a lot of disturbing things. But uh, LJ Cut time!

So, the main part of Part One: "Home Life" is that I went to Wildwood, New Jersey for a day. But we'll get to that. Let's blow through the small things first. AO, Steve, Dad and Macen all had birthdays. I attended AO's and Steve's. I missed Dad's and Macen's because I don't pay attention to what the date is. Not that it would have mattered anyway; I wasn't at Dad's and I don't know where Macen's been the past few years. Both occurred on July 4th. Yes, I missed Independence Day too. I don't see the point in that holiday. You don't see other countries showing off what date they were founded. Also I really really hate fireworks. They're loud, abrupt noises and, just like toast, practical jokes and horror movies, they scare the shit out of me even when I know they're coming.
I caught two shiny Pokemon in Ruby Version. First Doduo in the Safari Zone and then, the next day, Oddish underneath the cycling path. Also I got Pokerus twice. Neither one is really a big deal for me. I've gotten shinies and Pokerus buttloads of times. I've had shiny Graveler, Whismur, Kecleon, and Shuppet among others I've forgotten, but really shinies don't serve any special purpose besides bragging to your friends that you did something that there's only a 1 in 8192 chance of. Shinies aren't stronger than regular-coloureds or anything. In fact, in Gen 2, shinies were actually weaker than normally-coloured Pokeymans because back then shininess was determined by IVs. Certain IVs had to all be set to 10 for them to be shiny, so if you wanted a shiny, you couldn't max out those stats. PS I recently typed up a new thing aboot EVs, IVs, egg moves, etc. I can upload it somewhere if anyone wants me to.

Okay, this is the disturbing paragraph. Here we go: I got my little flashlight thing stuck up my butt. Normally I leave the tip sticking out so I can grab it and pull it out when I'm done, but on this particular occasion I forgot it was in there. I clenched and accidentally sucked it the whole way up. I tried to get it oot for aboot an hoor (aah, that one's kinda confusing), to no avail. So, I had to call Joyce. She came over and got it out for me. Then she took it from me. So now I have no idea what to use as a butt plug. It would be really great if I had a real one, especially because they're designed so this exact thing can never happen, but I can't go shopping without an escort, and my b-family's all... y'know, bigoted against assplay and stuff. Every time I sing aboot having anal with my wife they yell at me. It's ridiculous. Anyway, ever since, my rectum's been all messed up. Feels like there's a couple little spots where maybe the flashlight's on/off switch tore the wall or something? Because they hurt when I try and stick something up there. I certainly hope that whatever the blazes it is, it goes away because I couldn't imagine life without things in my butt. I've tried asking my b-family what to do aboot it, but they don't answer. They're always just like "Well its your own dumb fault for putting something in there". So that's nice, I have yet another legitimate medical concern and no way to get help for it. Let's hope I never have a heart attack around these jerks or I'm going to die. Plus, this is probably going to hurt my "there's nothing wrong with anal" arguments because now they're going to bring this incident up every time. Fuck.

For the love of God, someone please get me away from my b-family and into a new home with cool people. Preferably people who have fast Internet and whom will let me use it as much as I want with no time limit or any other kind of rules like "no porn" or "no downloading stuff" or whatever. Do they have that in orphanages? Because if they do, I would really much rather be in an orphanage than live with my b-family. Hey, ask Jessa if she'll reconsider adopting me. She said no a few times but maybe someday she'll change her mind. After all, I'm known as The Mind-Changer. Well, no I'm not. But still, I have and will continue to change minds. And clothes. Man, I need new clothes. Better clothes. Maybe a shirt that says "Hug Me". Do you think people really do hug people who wear shirts like that? Probably not. I'd assume they wouldn't risk it, in case the shirt is just a joke. You know, like the "Duck me, I'm frunk" shirts. I don't think that shirt would really get anyone laid. I really do want hugs though. I need a shirt that's more clear that I really do want hugs. Someday I hope to hug Maddi, Jessa and both Annas. Several times. Per hour. Not sure if I wanna hug males. Idk, I'm not really a male-friend kind of guy. I mean, I have some male friends, but I dunno if I'd hug them. Have I ever e-hugged Simon? He likes hugs. I dunno, I can't remember. I should try sometime and see how that feels. If he still likes me, that is. I dunno if he does. It's been a while since I've last spoken to him. I'm terrible at coming up with topics. I don't usually initiate IMs with people. I let them initiate IMs with me. Except for when something came up that I know I can use as a topic with someone. Like, I IM Thom constantly because there's constantly a thing I can use as a topic with him. He's probably annoyed that I IM him too much. Especially when he's busy. He seems to be busy a lot. I wonder if he ever just pretends to be busy so he doesn't have to talk to me...? Hm... Well, in any case, when The Thing is over I'll slow down with the IMs. Oh, but wait, what if he thinks I've lost interest in talking to him? It's lose-lose... Crap... OH! Speaking of crap, I had to do a bunch of painting for Joyce.
The main goal was to raise the money in time to get Join Us when it came out. I mean, I realize one CD is only like twenty bucks, but I don't get to go shopping very often and when I do, I want to be able to get more than just one or two things. Not only that, but there's the issue of phone minutes too. Since you get more value for more expensive cards, the smartest thing to do is buy the most expensive one, the $80 one, so you save long-term. Unfortunately I can never raise another $80 by the time the previous card runs out, so I usually have to buy the cheapest ($20) card, which causes me gargantuan long-term loss. Plus it only lasts me less than a week. And then I can't raise another $20 before those couple days ends. So then I have to go weeks at a time with no contact with my friends. And I need contact with my friends so we can work out what to do aboot The Situation That's Been Going on These Past Couple Years. And every second we're not working to prevent Bad Things, there's a chance Bad Things could happen. I'm assured that prevention is occurring even without me, but I often realize something new that I need to check and make sure is covered by The Plan. It usually is, but you never know. So as you can probably see, my life is very stressful. Now I really need to stop trailing off Coffee-Crew-style and get back to the painting thing. What is wrong with me today? Seriously, this isn't one of those Nick-Is-Intentionally-Trying-to-Be-Like-a-TV-Show-Character-Because-He-Hates-Himself-and-Would-Rather-Be-Like-Them things; my mind keeps on wandering off to other stuff. Is that a symptom of ADD, d'you think? Because I was diagnosed with that back when I went to a psychiatrist. Sucks my b-family didn't want to keep paying the $20 for it; I really need a psychologist. Badly. I'd like to get the austism, Asperger's, OCD, etc. diagnosed so people stop disbelieving me when I say I have 'em. Geez, it should be pretty obvious I have a lot more than just clinical depression and ADD. Plus maybe they'd have tips for handling The Thing.

...Wait. Trailing off again. GOD, NICK, STOP IT. AARGH. PAINTING.
SO YES, I WAS PAINTING. After over a month of Joyce saying she had work for me but not actually letting me do it, she finally let me do it. For whatever reason, she didn't wanna pick me up, so I had to walk the whole way over to her house a couple of times. Which btw was horrible. It's a half-hour walk, uphill, and I had to carry a paint can and stuff with me. Not to mention the risk of getting shot, stabbed, run over, crushed, strangled, mutilated, bludgeoned, drowned, etc.! Do you realize how out-of-shape I am? I'd never be able to out-run an assailant. After the second time walking I was like "Okay, no. I'm not walking anymore." So then she started picking me up. I did a few random things around her yard and then the big project was three of the outer walls of her garage. Why I didn't have to do the fourth, I'll never understand. It definitely stands out from the other three now. But anyway, I totalled 19 and a half hours, which was $141.38. Not too long ago I found out that painters are supposed to be paid more than just Minimum Wage (by They Might Be Giants), but I mean, what am I gonna do? If I ask for a raise I'll more than likely be fired.
Finally, this is gonna be kinda out-of-place in the "Home Life" entry, but it was p out-of-place in part two where it originally was too, so... lose-lose. Okay, um... so basically, I wrote Part Two before the other two parts, and so it had a little home life and Join Us stuff in it until I decided to expand on them and give them their own separate entry. I trailed off a little bit, going from "apparently two new albums came out without me knowing" to "dang son, I need Internet. I keep finding out aboot things way too late to be able to chime in on them", and then I started chiming in on some current events. Here that is, verbatim: I wanted so bad to discuss the Anthony Weiner thing, but it's much too late for that. But basically I'm okay with what he did. It's not like he actually had irl sex or anything. I mean geez, I send my friends nudez all the time. It's no big deal. It doesn't count as cheating. Heck man, The Person posts nudez, apparently, and surprisingly I'm okay with it (wish I knew where to find 'em, though...). Although I guess he probably should've asked his wife for permission to make sure she felt the same way. Lying in the interviews was way worse than the thing itself, but I honestly don't blame him for that either. It's not his fault society is so screwed-up and intolerant that he has to hide everything to protect himself. ...Oh, I guess I did just discuss it anyway. Well, while I'm doing this, I'd also like to comment on the Casey Anthony thing. While I have no opinion on whether she's guilty or not (because I don't know all the details), I think it's ridiculous that everyone makes such a big deal aboot her going to parties and whatnot after her daughter disappeared. What do they expect her to do, just sit around crying all day long? I'm sure she has a life besides just her daughter. Besides, sometimes when bad stuff happens, you need to have some fun to take your mind off shit. I had the
same opinion aboot that BP guy that went golfing.

Speaking of, I'm a bit of a hypocrite. Not the bad kind, though. See, when Joyce and Wendy asked me if I wanted to go along with them to Wildwood I reluctantly agreed. I immediately didn't feel right running off to have fun when Someone claimed that their lives were ruined forever. I mean, I know that if they actually weren't lying (still p sure they are, for the reasons listed in that one other entry in addition to a new one I remembered), there's nothing that can be done to un-ruin their lives, but still. I have difficulty saying "no" to people, you see. I dunno, maybe I also thought it'd help pass the time until Join Us comes out. Who knows what was going on in my head. But anyway, we left Sunday morning (July 17th, 2011 A.D.) and planned to return home sometime Monday. They rented a hotel room for us to sleep in, which seems kinda unnecessary considering we had a perfectly suitable car, which, for the record, I've recently found to be infinitely more comfy than all beds.
Our journey began Sunday morning as planned. I brought along my iPod, DS and some other stuff to keep me not-bored for the drive. It didn't work. But we did stop at a McDonald's along the way, and I got a caramel mocha, so that was cool. They kept talking to me even though I was listening to music via my earbuds though. That's a huge pet peeve of mine. We arrived in Wildwood somewhere around noon, I think. Our check-in time wasn't until 1, so we immediately went for the boardwalk. Unfortunately, walking the boardwalk was quite frustrating, as Joyce and Wendy walk way too slow. Not only am I p impatient, but also I can't control my walking speed, so I have to walk in short bursts. Take a few steps, stop, wait for my traveling party to catch up, repeat. And then of course they kept wanting to stop and look around in the stores or watch people ride on the rides. And Joyce kept calling me over to look at stuff I didn't care aboot. Yes, Joyce, there's a picture of the animal crab with text alluding to grouchy humans. That pun's been around for ages. It shouldn't excite you as much as it does. I also don't need to look at shirts that say "Surfer Dude". I don't surf, and neither do you.
As if it weren't frustrating enough, once 1:00 came, Wendy got all worried aboot the lunchmeat we had in the car and was in a hurry to get it into our hotel room's fridge. So then we had to go back! Seems like, um, we shouldn't have even started walking the boardwalk until that'd been taken care of. And why'd you even bring lunchmeat? There's tons of restaurants on the boardwalk. It wasn't even for the drives, because we stopped at restaurants then, too! Damn white people and their cheese. And then, of course, when we got back to the hotel we found out our room wasn't ready yet anyway. The maid hadn't even started cleaning up after the last occupants. So we sat around for what I suspect was a half hour to an hour before finally the innkeeper was like "Well okay, I'll give you a different room instead". So then we finally stored all our stuff in it and continued our boardwalk bonanza. The whole time, I was worried that the maid/innkeeper/whoever-else-would-have-a-key-to-our-room would steal my stuff, but luckily that didn't happen. I was also worried aboot passersby, Joyce, and/or Wendy murdering me, but luckily that didn't happen either.

The boardwalk? Not at all as long as Joyce and Wendy made it sound. We managed to reach the end by four or five o'clock. Once we did, I quickly realized that all the stores are p much the same. There's restaurants, dollar stores, and t-shirt stores. And strangely, every t-shirt store has mostly the same t-shirts. Every five minutes you see Charlie Sheen, "YEAH BUDDY", "Free Hugs", "Cool story bro", and whatever the hell "DTF" means. Between all the stores sucking and the realization that having reached the end of the boardwalk we now have nothing to do for the rest of our stay, I realized I'd made a horrible mistake in agreeing to come. Some good came of it, though. We had something called "Polish Ice" a few times. It was really good. I had two mochacinno-flavoured ones and a watermelon one. Also I got a Monster. Humiliating story aboot that, though.

Okay, so like, it requires some explanation. So, okay, I have great difficulty hearing what people are saying to me when there's a lot of other sounds going on, even if they're not that loud. I can't even tell you how many times I had to ask my friend whom in high school talked to me on the bus to repeat himself because of the sounds of the engine, wind resistance, radio and other kids talking. Okay, so on return trip down the boardwalk, we stopped at yet another restaurant. I ordered two tacos and a Monster. Upon doing so, the dude said something that I couldn't make out because like, air conditioners and passersby talking and stuff. I assumed he asked "small, medium, or large". Boy was I wrong. And yes, I realize Monster doesn't come in different size cans, but... I just assumed, since this was a restaurant, they had it in machines like with fountain sodas and put it in a cup. So anyway, I was like "uhhhhh... medium?" and to my horror, he responded "No, green, blue or orange?" MOTHERFUCKER. Why didn't I just say "What?" like I usually do when people say stuff to me?! So anyway, I was like "Oh. Uhhhh... blue?" I didn't know what all the different colours were, so I just picked blue because that's the one Anna N. has in the photo where she's holding a Monster. Which it turns oot is the low carbs one. I don't know what carbs are. I assume it means it's healthier though. Is Anna worried aboot health or something? I've been meaning to ask whether her vegetarianism is a health thing or an animal thing but never got around to it. Anyway, I hope this incident wasn't one of those things that cashiers lol at customers aboot in their heads. Also, in case you're wondering aboot the "uhhhhh"s and long pauses, it's because I have great difficulty making on-the-spot decisions. It's one of the many reasons why I really shouldn't go to restaurants. Damn waiters, always asking you what size you want, what condiments and toppings, side dishes... Idk, ask Jessa. She knows. I told her all aboot it a few years ago over the phone, the day I emailed her asking her to call me so I could tell her one of the revelations I'd really had, walked home to pick up my phone, walked back to Mom's where I emailed her from, received her call, and walked around in the snow while talking to her for probably an hour or more. It was the first time she called me. I was so swept up in the excitement that I forgot the good revelations and only told her the shitty one that she was probably already well aware of. Damn, I miss Jessa. She was really awesome to talk to. I forget how I managed to email at Mom's house though. Mom doesn't let me online. Maybe I snuck on when everyone was upstairs, I dunno. I used to do that sometimes.

Well, Jessa's awesomeness aside, immediately after the restaurant we watched a movie. I really didn't want to, but. You know. Kinda have to go everywhere they go. The movie was just as I thought it'd be. P much your average comedy movie. Physical "comedy", predictable storyline, etc. If anything I'd rather we'd've seen Harry Potter, but since I haven't seen Deathly Hallows Part One yet I wouldn't know what's happening in the story. No, I didn't read the books. Shut up. I just don't like to read, okay? It doesn't make you better than me. I just prefer to actually see the characters, props, settings, etc., that's all. Damn. But there was this one time that Guess Who yelled at me for not liking books. Yelled at me for a lot of ridiculous reasons. Really hurt my feelings. Like, a couple times a day. And I still remember every word. And I still feel the pain. And I cry. Remember the time she asked me if I thought she was related to Myrrh, then was like "NOT NECESSARILY, YOU IDIOT" when I was like "No; your families would know eachother", then yelled at me again when I tried to follow up with "Also you live the whole way across the country"? I sure as hell do. What aboot the time she said I'm not mature enough to have sex just because I prefer monogamy over condoms? Or the time we did one of our three Bonus Stage roleplays and I had Rya literally be scared shitless by a thing and then she was yelled at me for talking aboot feces? I do! Ruined the joke too. Or that time me and Simon were trying to teach her how to record herself singing and she yelled at me for saying that Recording Control won't let you check two boxes at once when she was trying to check both Microphone and Mixer? Also the time I asked her one time if she'd want to get AIM and she was like "NO STOP ASKING" and then I was like "But this is the first time I asked that" and then she yelled at me again? Ugh... so many more... Too many to count...

Trailin' off again, dangit. So after the movie we finished walking back to the ramp we started from. I actually saw a couple t-shirts I wanted, but I wanted to see if there was anything else I wanted more before I bought them, so once we finished our boardwalk walking I wanted to go back and get 'em, but Joyce and Wendy were tired and wanted to go back to the hotel. So we decided we'd get 'em tomorrow morning and did indeed go back to the hotel. I went to bed p much immediately but woke up after like two hours. Joyce and Wendy were asleep at that point, so I figured it was a good time to defecate 'cause I had to do so for a few hours but held it in 'cause I can't defecate when people are around. Despite them being asleep it still took me a while because I also have difficulty doing it away from home. Success was eventually attained though. Then I tried to go back to sleep. Took me a few hours. I suddenly wasn't tired anymore and weird stuff kept racing through my mind. For some reason I was constantly seeing Guitar Hero gameplay. You know, the fretboard or whatever, with the different coloured circles scrolling down the screen? Except strangely, the colours were out of order. They were in the wrong columns. They also didn't seem to form an actual melody. Once I finally stopped seeing Guitar Hero, I had mental videos of me running into Maddi on the boardwalk and then hanging out with her all day. At one point I was like "Oh, hey, there's that thing from Pokemon Black and White!" (referring to the giant spinny thing in Nimbasa City, which strangely there really is one on the boardwalk irl) and she made me get on it with her despite my intense fear of heights. You know how they say you can conquer your fears by facing them head-on? Yeah, bullshit. I was terrified the whole time and held onto her really tight. We also took a ton of pictures, most of which showed us hugging, and uploaded them to show our Internet friends. I didn't actually see the uploading but she said she'd do it so I assume she did later, off-screen. At night she came back to our hotel room and she platonically and non-sexually slept in the same bed as me. We were both wearing clothes. No idea where her parents where. You'd think she'd have to ask them before having a sleepover. Other than that it was a p realistic and vivid fantasy. They usually are. Eventually though it did took a very sexual turn. I'm SOOOO sorry, Maddi. I platonically love you, man. :( But the good news is that I fell asleep afterwards, so!

So, the next morning we hit the boardwalk once more despite having already seen and done everything we wanted to. Joyce woke me up and told me it was soon check-out time, so after lying back down for a while to try and finish the platonic and non-sexual part of the Maddi fantasy from The Night Before (by The Beatles), I got up and fulfilled Joyce and Wendy's requests to change clothes, brush my teeth and have Joyce wash my hair. Joyce made me put on my swimming trunks and a t-shirt for some reason. I really shouldn't be wearing any kind of shorts in public because I have really hairy legs. Also there's the birthmark on my right knee, but that's not really as much of a concern. I also hate wearing t-shirts because A) They're extremely uncomfy, especially in the hotter seasons, B) There's no pocket to put my phone in, C) I have this weird thing aboot images of people "watching" me and I have to take my shirt off and put it face-down when I masturbate or defecate, and D) when wearing t-shirts in public, there's the risk of someone being like "Nice shirt". Most would consider this a good thing, but not me. I can never tell if they're talking to me or someone else who's near me, so when I hear someone say that I don't know what to do. If I say "Thanks", there's the risk of being embarrassed because it might turn out they're talking to someone else, and if I don't say anything, they might think I'm being rude. It's lose-lose! ...Oh, wow, why do I keep using that phrase today? Well anyway, guess what? Someone did say "Nice shirt". I have the luck of the Irish, don't I? Welp, I decided not to say anything in case they were saying it to someone else. I tried not to look for the speaker and just kept on walking with my head down. Hopefully they thought I just didn't hear them. I really need to stop leaving my house though. These kinds of things need to never happen again. Ever.

So, we headed back to the store I saw the t-shirts in, but it was closed. I know what you're thinking, "lol now he can't get his shirts because even though he wanted to do it last night his traveling party was too tired and wanted to do it today instead", right? Heh. Yeah, that pretty much is my luck. I was alright with it though. It was actually kind of relieving, because then I'd have extra money to spend on CDs when I go to the mall to get Join Us. But wouldn't ya know it, Joyce and Wendy were all obsessed with me getting my shirts, so we grabbed more Polish ice and sat down on a bench and waited. We actually had to head home soon because we were checked out of our hotel and couldn't park there anymore, and our new parking spot had a parking metre, so I hoped we'd run out of time before it opened, but it did not. The store opened and we went in to buy shirts. I got a Nirvana shirt and I wanted a Lady Gaga one so I could tweet a photo a photo of me wearing it and be like "@CelestialBeard HEY DAWG, LIKE MY SHIRT?" but Joyce was like "No, get Green Day instead" so I got Green Day. Both shirts are pretty cool. I'm fine with it. So yep, I now have a grand total of four t-shirts.

After getting into our car, we drove around for four hours, taking pictures of houses because Joyce and Wendy apparently want to buy a house in Wildwood. I keep trying to tell them that the cost of buying a house will probably outweigh the cost of renting hotel rooms every visit, considering they don't really go to Wildwood that often, but they're all "Yeah well, if we get a house then we'll come more often". I think they'll still be in the red though. Eventually we finally started home. The ride back was p shitty. I got bored with Pokemon so I just listened to music. And they kept trying to talk to me anyway. Usually to get me to grab them a soda from the cooler. And lemme tell ya, that thing was packed. Full. 'Cause we got fudge and stuff on the boardwalk to stick in there. So I had to root around through everything to grab the sodas from the very bottom. Then of course I couldn't get the stuff back into its original position, so the lid wouldn't close. I ended up smashing everything. But, we went to McDonald's again, so that was cool. All in all I suppose my Wildwood vacation was alright, despite all the bad parts. Also I got sunburned for the third time in the month I've been offline, so. Let's, um, let's all hope I don't get skin cancer.

Welp, that's pretty much it! Finally! This was one long ass-entry. Well heh, heh, part two is gonna be p long too, so prepare yourself...

Guys what in the HELL is on my foot? It's been there for like a week now...

seriously... too many playlists

I REALLY NEED A LAPTOP.

Welp, I go home tomorrow but since I was told to finish my stuff up TODAY, I assume I go home early enough in the day that I won't have computer time. So yeah, gotta figure out what I'mma do to keep in contact with peeps mad fast. My phone's still out of minutes, so I won't even have Twitter until I can make some money. Which may be a problem. Joyce has had work for me to do (painting her garage and cleaning her basement) for like a month now, but every time I ask her when I can come over to do it, she just says she'll let me know. And then she never does. I think she's mad at me aboot the whole... Internet people calling Mom thing. Pfft, as if that was MY fault. *eyeroll*

Also, even if I do manage to make some money, I'll have to save aboot $20 of it for when Join Us comes out next month. Meaning I'll need to make at least $40. And even that's just for the cheapest minute card that only lasts me a couple of days. So I dunno what I'm gonna do. If I had a laptop, I wouldn't even have to worry about tweeting from my phone since I could have actual Internet access. For free. By mooching off of wi-fi. Is there a way to get a free laptop or something? Or even like a netbook or something...

a bunch of stuff

UGH.

I've been trying to keep Anna things off of my LJ but I no longer have access to the place I was channeling it all into because of the jerk channers taking over most of my accounts, so I kinda have to put it here. Sorry. If you're one of the people trying to stay out of it, just ignore this post.

 EDIT: UGH WHY IS LJ CUT NOT WORKING

The Anna Quest is going horribly at the moment. A few weeks ago, one of my friends decided to post a thread aboot me on an imageboard for some reason. A bunch of douchebag chantards hate me now and hacked most of my accounts and called my mom telling her I molested my half-sister (which I didn't, of course), but this isn't aboot all that. Apparently the thread attracted the attention of Anna and Jessa somehow, and for whatever reason they posted in it that Anna had sex with her jerk boyfriend Jeremy (whom I like to call Jerkemy). I have oodles of evidence that they're most likely lying just to upset me, but nothing concrete.

Their plan is sure as hell working. I don't know exactly why the thought of her having sex with someone upsets me so much (although I do know a lot of other bad repercussions), but it does. A lot. Anna having sex is constantly on my mind, traumatizing me. Literally, constantly. I can't even distract myself with video games or TV or music or whatever as I usually do when shit upsets me. "In Fact" (by They Might Be Giants), it kinda adds on to it. Every time I try to listen to TMBG now, it reminds me of how obsessive and energetic and nerdy Anna is. She's like a sweet, innocent little girl. And I love that aboot her. But if it's true that she's had sex, then, well, she's not innocent anymore.
Also, I keep uncontrollably having mental videos of all the horrible repercussions Anna having sex would have. For one, I'd continue to be all depressed like this forever, and I could never be happy and I'd never get any enjoyment out of anything anymore. And I imagine it'd be a huge buzzkill for Anna to be married to someone who couldn't enjoy their marriage. Plus, sex is supposed to be a really special thing shared by soul mates... if she has sex with someone else, well, yeah, it ruins sex for us when we finally do end up together. I've always wanted to make her first time especially special and romantic. I'll kiss her and caress her while we make passionate love, and maybe even throw around some rose petals and light candles, if I can ever figure out where you get those things from. I dunno if she's into mood music or not but I'll do that too if she is. Personally it creeps me out to do anything sexual when music's playing because it feels like the singer's watching me. Hell, I even take off my t-shirts and throw them somewhere face-down when I jack off. But whatev, it's all aboot what Anna wants. I bet stupid Jerkemy just wants to put his penis in and jackhammer and have horrible porn sex. :/

What follows now is all the evidence why I suspect they're lying. Enjoy.

When Maddi first read me the post, I already had my doubts that it was true. She then asked Jessa, who "confirmed" by saying Anna told her she had sex a few days after it happened. Right there's a red flag. A few days? Dude, this is Anna we're talking aboot. She would've told everyone immediately, especially her best friend. Why on earth would she wait that long unless her computer was fucked up or something?

I exchanged posts with Jessa in the thread for a while. When I told her I didn't believe it, she then pulled another story out of her presumably hot ass, saying she and Myrrh licked eachother's boobs and engaged in heavy petting. Problem is, I was still Anna's friend when she met Myrrh irl. She told me all aboot it but never mentioned any of that. All they did was make out and look at each other's boobs. Look, not touch. I even told Jessa this, but she tried to cover by saying Anna was trying to avoid hurting my feelings. Um, no she wasn't... If she wanted to avoid hurting my feelings, she wouldn't have even told me what she did tell me. The making out hurt quite a lot for quite a while, and she knew it would. I mean, yeah, it didn't hurt as much as Anna doing anything sexual would, but at that point I hadn't yet told her my thoughts on her doing anything sexual. She would've assumed sex would be the same amount of hurt that making out would be.

Also, Anna's really shy and socially awkward. I doubt she'd be able to get nekkid in front of a dude let alone have sex. Even if she did, she wouldn't know what to do. She'd most likely just lay there motionless. I mean, she'll most likely pick up on the kissing once I start, but it'll probably take her longer to figure out what to do with her hands. Hell, she doesn't know what to do with them when she's sleeping, even. Neither do I, actually. But I digress.

She was with her last boyfriend, Paul, way longer than she's been with Jeremy and nothing happened between them either. Apparently Paul didn't even like kissing. Let's hope Jeremy shares the sentiment as well.

I recently heard Anna's in college now (which also upsets me, but that's a discussion for another day), so how would she even find the time and place to have sex? She lives in a dorm, presumably with a roommate, on a college campus.

I also highly doubt that Anna and Jeremy's relationship is even all that serious. As far as I can tell, they went to prom (as friends), and sometimes hang out. Pretty much just the same shit she did with Paul. Which is basically just friend things. It's painfully obvious to me that Anna doesn't even understand love. She's mistaking intense crushes for love, and that can be extremely dangerous. I mean yeah, seems like everyone goes through that phase at some point. I know I did, up until I met Anna and fell in love for real. Once it clicked for me, I started noticing other people being really stupid with relationships too, mainly in high school and on the Internet. People toss the word "love" around way too casually, when they don't really mean it. Anna's been doing just that her whole life. She "loved" Myrrh, Paul, and apparently Jeremy now, but if she actually took the time to compare the former two to Jeremy, she'd realize nothing's any different from her first two "loves". It's sad, really. Anna's so big on shipping yet doesn't know what love's all aboot.

As far as I can tell, Anna hasn't posted aboot having sex on deviantART, LiveJournal, or anywhere else but in the thread. I did hear that Scott and Jessa posted on Facebook aboot it, but Anna's parents have Facebook accounts and I'd assume they have Anna friended, so they would've seen it. Unless Anna told them aboot the plan or something, idk. My assumption is that she and her friends took advantage of the Nick thread, which they knew I would read at some point, and posted a lie aboot having sex in it to either upset me or make me stop loving her. Or both. But the joke's on them, 'cause even if it were true that still wouldn't make me stop loving her. It would ruin her lives, but not make me stop loving her.

Hopefully nobody but me would even want to have sex with her, because I heard third- or maybe fourth-hand that she has BO. I dunno who it came from, but my guess is Jessa since she's the only one who's met Anna irl who would be talking to my friends. Everyone lost contact with Myrrh once Anna decided to hate her, and I don't think anyone talks to Sean or Kate either. Except maybe Scott. I guess it's possible one of them told Scott, who told another person, who told me. Idk. I'm still thinking Jessa. Jessa's p nice though, so if it was her I'm sure she didn't mean it as an insult, just as a fact. Seems like something that'd be true. She seems to have not-great hygience. It would also explain the photo of her holding deodorant. Although I find it odd that she changed brands. She used to use Teen Spirit (strawberry scented, to be exact) because of the Nirvana song.
Touching back on the shyness thing, how would the subject of sex even come up? I mean, can you imagine it? It'd be awkward as fuck.

And finally, I once saw one of Anna's friends talking to her on Twitter and I suspect they were talking aboot telling me she had sex to get me to kill myself. The exact words were something along the lines of "Yeah, and then right before he dies, say 'Oh yeah, I lied'." Yes, it's p vague, but they were definitely discussing telling someone a lie that would somehow cause their death. Seems to fit.
Looking back one all the evidence makes me feel a little better, but as I said before none of it's concrete. In any case, I hope the truth comes out soon. I also hope that the truth is that she lied. Because if not her lives are irreversibly ruined forever. I would hope she'd have more sense than to do that to herself. I guess we'll find oot...

@cool__beans so, I have this

best newspaper article ever

me. just me.

U.S. States I've Heard Of

Countries I've Heard Of

Ed Note: Nick, your camera is shit. Is that shit smeared on the paper?!

cats love TMBG!

idk if y'all can read this but yeah

GUYS

They hacked my Twitter too, and changed my password. So even if I sent out a tweet confirming my name on the thread, it's not really me so don't trust what "I'm" saying in the thread.

Also, Internet Explorer won't display Twitter and /cwc/ so I think cops might've blocked me from sties or something, which is dumb because now how the hell can I defend myself against the accusations?

Also, I assume they may have changed my mobile number on Twitter so I can't tweet from my phone back home. This is really bad. How am I going to have contact with my friends? DAMMIT GUYS HELP ME

EDIT: okay I just got Twitter to display again and now it accepted my password. Good, good, but still, be cautious of trusting my accounts in case it happens again

MY TO-DO LIST FOR THE NOW

MY TO-DO LIST FOR THE NOW

Thom wanted me to post this for some reason, so here it is. Every time I go to Dad's I make a list of things I need to do before I go home, because it's the only place I have Internet and a computer that's compatible with my external harddrive.

• look up Pokeymans movesets on Smogon, especially now that I have White Version. Yes I know they're for competitive battles and not in-game stuff, but I do it anyway. Gives me shit to do.
• Look up White Version stuff on Wikipedia. Mainly to figure out where to go next. I assume the story isn't over yet because there's a cave in Pinwheel Forest that's still blocked. Unless of course this is an event thing.
• Check humour blogs, like FYP and such
• get lists of episodes of all my favourite shows from Wikipedia
• upload the podcasts I recorded
• finally upload the YouTube video that's been stuck on my camcorder for months, preventing me from recording anything new
• check on the status of Join Us to see if there's cover art, a track listing, etc. - FINISHED THIS. And yes, there were both. I also found one of the tracks! Lossy format though. :(
• look up discographies of my newer favourite bands on Wikipedia, jot down tracklistings of canon albums
• post an LJ entry - did this twice
• stick some of my friends' stuff on my flash drive for at-home viewing
• I got a few new CDs since I was last here, so I ripped them and put them on my flash drive. I must now transfer them to my external harddrive. My laptop back home isn't compatible with it, you see. It's too old. It's... it's a real pain.
• Redo my iPod and change everything back to stereo. Making everything mono was a terrible idea and I regretted it for months
• investigate the thread and stuff - somewhat done but still in progress
• look up chords/tabs of TMBG songs so maybe I could try to play them on my keyboard
• try to find more flacs because I hate mp3s so much
• I recently realized that most of the Beatles' stuff should be in mono because that's how they were ORIGINALLY made. screw the stereo remasters, I need to find the MONO remasters
• possibly do an LoA entry? although my last LJ post kinda covered it already so maybe no
• check HMB - finished. nothing new which is sad because it's been three months
• convert some videos I have to a different format
• do stuff on Twitter
• update Facebook - can't because they hacked it
• check emails - also can't because they hacked it
• find new wallpapers for my laptop

So there ya go.