I need a way to attract Wife's attention withoot getting pigs called on me again. Ideas, go go go

The imfamous "booby dance" from high school, with additional moves thrown in to make it even MORE disturbing!

Nick's twitter said:

Bye. Next Internet access scheduled for Nov. 16

King Sick Fuck said:

One of b-mum's partners told me there was a war where the U.S. actually fought ITSELF. Man, just when ya thought the U.S. couldn't be dumber

WTF?

Oop, it just exploded and I got six more since I said that. I also wish I had a costume for my kitty to wear.

Halloween over. 12+1 total peeps. That's appropriate. Hey, know what's NOT appropriate? I want females to taste their own butts on my penis!

Nickalaus Scumtzenberger said:

To keep Things from happening, I should remind all my wife's boyfriends that she wipes the wrong direction, mashing feces into her vagina.

Loose tooth finally fell oot

Oop, I just bit into a Twix I had in my fridge so it wouldn't melt but it hardened it TOO much and noo I have a loose tooth bugging me.

It took me 40 minutes to eat my 397-gram sweet 'n' soor chicken meal. This tooth needs to hurry up and fall oot before I commit suicide.

Dunsparce has to he the least used Pokémon of all time. What even IS that thing

What starter should I get? I don't really like any of them. I guess Fennekin's the least crappy of the three.

Although, what's everyone else getting? We can coordinate so we can trade once we get to the point we can breed.

I like Mega Gardevoir's big skirt. Or regular skirt on a big butt. Whatever it is. It's hot.

Taking bets on hoo long until Mega Gardevoir hentai surfaces

So a human offered me 20 USD to teach it Microsoft Word but b-mum doesn't want me to. But I already scheduled it. What the crap do I do?

Also WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON OOTSIDE?! Is anyone else seeing this? There's partially transparent whiteness EVERYWHERE.

@sadgayponies Yeah I'm not gonna be able to stop doing buttplay-related stuff. You literally caught me while writing a script aboot buttrape

@sadgayponies Oh. Wait hoo do I wean that though? I mean I either take it or don't there's no middlegroond

@sadgayponies ...my dosage was already only half a milligram twice a day. I guess I could do like... once a day, idk

Told Joyce aboot my penis. Said to not take this morning's dose and tell the Dr. Would've been great if a Twitter person said that earlier.

Oh my god, my new therapy place doesn't alloo me to view porn in my private life. Dammit, noo I have to just visualize, which I suck at. D:

Yeah I dunno hoo long I'll last at this place. I think aboot buttplay literally constantly, like no matter what I'm doing at any given time.

So I'll probably end up getting a dishonorable discharge pretty quickly. Unless the therapist gives me permission. He said we'll discuss it.

Also, I stopped taking the Risperidone because of my penis pain and the serial killer thoughts are noticably back.

Sick Nick The Game

I did the math and there are currently 32076 different panties you can wear in my game I'm making. Nice.

What the hell is this "gingham style" meme I keep seeing everywhere?

Well, my period's late so I guess I'm pregnant. 'Cause I don't exercise AT ALL. I hope it's a girl. I don't want any sons. I dislike males.

Working on a game. I'm giving the player RIDICULOUS dominion over customization of your character's panties. You're welcome.

And yes, panties affect the gameplay too. You have a stat that causes you to have to poop, and if you don't make it to a loo in time (tbc)

(cont'd) you'll be uncomfy and have a chance of losing turns in battle. And if you crap yourself you lose your panties and must equip (tbc)

(cont'd) a new pair. Withoot panties equipped your Dexterity stat suffers, affecting frequency of getting turns, evasion, bow damage, etc.

What's weird is that even though I'm transsexual, I'm not aroosed by my own defecation. I must subconsciously not consider myself female. :(

I wish I were more female so I could aroose myself and masturbate to mental videos of me doing myself more often.

Still waiting on the gift I'm getting late. If it's not a laptop or accordion I will rip humans' intestines oot and force-feed it to them.

If I were to have sexual intercourse with a Pokémon, it'd probably be either Gardevoir, Lilligant, Gothitelle, Jynx or Bellossom.

Nick's Twitter Views on Civil Rights

If I was a bus driver I'd make U.S.ians sit in the back and then some chick would refuse to because it's racist so then I'd shoot her.

Nick's Birthday!

Nick said:

Oh, so that's nice. B-grandmother's having a dementia spell so Joyce postponed my damn birthday party. Dammit. Every fucking year.

Nick said:

I'm aboot ready to urinate into the open wounds (which I will create) of all humans who didn't get me a laptop. I better get one.

Sick Nick a Day At Work

Funny coincidence, a customer bought a Pikachu doll from us while I was using a Pikachu in battle.

(Yes, I play my DS at the store. Keeps me occupied when I'm not checking anyone oot)

(by checking them oot I mean ringing them up on the cash register. Although I also do ogle people sometimes if they're 8-10 and female)

Btw, anyone live in Pennsylvania? I work at the store 2 oot of 3 weekends. Y'all could come and see me in person and give me your panties.

It is a proven scientific fact that everyone who knows me wants me in their butt.

Can I recruit a ton of people into an evil army and then we take over the world and I become Queen of Earth?

Who is in my butt? Probably my wife traveling back in time to do past versions of me in my butt for some reason

I should write a script for a porno and sell it to a movie guy to make into an actual porno so I finally have a porno I can watch.

Why is it that EVERY SINGLE TIME the Nick masturbates a broon ootline appears aroond his hand? That's some paranormal crap right there, man.

I want a cat that looks like Hitler. You know, one of those tuxedo cats with the black spot under its nose.

I wonder what happened that suddenly made everyone start to have sex before marriage. People didn't used to do that. Good times.

The Nick wonders if there's a way to destroy all humans but not other beings like cats. Cats are cool. What would destroy only one species?

Maybe like, a highly contagious, fatal disease that only affects human DNA. The Nick needs to learn science so she can create one.

The Nick keeps forgetting to shake her penis after urinating, resulting in urine running doon the inside of her pant legs. Ugh.

There should be lesbeans that you can plant to grow your own lesbian.

There should be a nekkid marathon. A marathon where all the runners are nekkid. Someone'd probably bomb it again though.

There should be a law where everyone who's married or life-partenered has to do butt stuff or else they can't be together.

Question. Where is Earth's uterus? I want to inseminate it so it gives birth to a new planet I'll move to and start my own civilization.

I wonder what happened that suddenly made everyone start to have sex before marriage. People didn't used to do that. Good times.

The Nick wonders if there's a way to destroy all humans but not other beings like cats. Cats are cool. What would destroy only one species?

Maybe like, a highly contagious, fatal disease that only affects human DNA. The Nick needs to learn science so she can create one.

Nick Nazi

Sick Nick Twitter Q and A

I'm a douche? Haha, little kid, you are trying to make Anna love you even though you called her smelly, dumb, fat, ugly, and other horrible insults. I've made sure she knows what you've said about her. She will never love you.

They're not meant as insults. I LIKE those traits of hers.

But I LIKE those things aboot her. They are POSITIVE things. I don't like people who're intelligent, objectively hot, talented/capable, etc.

Why would have Hitler liked you? You are an ugly, fat smelly man-child who is too afraid to live on their own, plus you don't do anything but take money from the government. Hitler would have killed you without hesitation.

We both like anal and scat. Maybe we could've double-teamed Ava Broon up her butt.

The Nick

More Asinine Stuff on Nick's Twitter

I wonder if there's any females who have like, that Gary Numan disease and they still look like children but it'd be legal to date them.

I wish the location of Hitler's body was made public so I could grab some of his DNA and clone him, minus the racism part.

Explosive diarrhea is one of the greatest experiences in life.

It's all true. I'm horribly oot of shape to the point everything hurts, and I AM going to do a2m with mein waifu.

Q-
What is your obsession with Hitler about? He was a terrible human being in every sense.

A-
IMO, he gets a bad rap. He made ONE mistake. Like nobody else ever messed up before! If you ignore the Holocaust, Hitler was really cool. He had that awesome mustache, hairstyle, salute and accompanying catchprase, he popularized the swastika which is a cool symbol, he liked anal and scat... In a way I kinda feel like me and Hitler are kindred souls. No homo.

Hm... I dunno if I can handle that. When I was little I got stomach aches sometimes and I always prayed for death to end it.

Yeah people keep telling me lately my teeth might kill me. I'm okay with that though if the alternative is pain. Life sucks anyway

Couldn't I just kill myself on my own terms if/when that starts and then I'd just die instantly? Blowing up seems p quick.

throwing a molotov cocktail at a gas pump when I'm right beside it. I imagine I'd be vaporized instantly, thus no pain.

I don't understand why everyone wants me to kill myself but nobody'll explain hoo to do so. Idk I might go to a dentist i guess

Why not? In what way to you benefit from me being alive? If anything Dead!Nick could be beneficial by being a poltergeist

Ed Note: He's talking about going to the dentist and then suicide. 

I finally figured oot what my name would be if people could pick their own name. Fanny. I'd be Fanny.

I made a bit of progress making my fighting game. Mostly the planning though, like everyone's attacks.

Starting small with a demo version with 10 playable characters (full version will have 50)

Demo version characters: me, my wife, Jessa, Baby, Goliath, Akagi, Maddi, Nikki, Ondine, Thom.

More Anna Whining

I understand that The Aristocats was a children's movie aboot cats, but considering the title you'd think there'd be at least ONE scat orgy.

She didn't. She's really dumb but not enough to ruin her existence forever to spite the second-best mortal who ever existed.

No. Nobody but me wants to do Things with her. Most people don't even want to be near her because of odour and uggo-ness.

Yeah man, if Jessa and Maddi licked and sucked the taste of eachother's rectums off of my penis, that'd be my best day 'til I marry my wife.

Penises are like AC adapters and rectums are the ootlets. Anal intercourse gives us the energy we need to remain pooered-on.

Why have I never foond the perfect porn yet? There's like a bajillion porn sites and they all fucking SUCK.

I'm sad. I got two new a2m videos yesterday but the one had a cut between the anal and fellatio and also the framerate was SHIT and in the other the chick had tattoos and piercings and it also showed her vagina throughoot ALL of the anal. Ugh. Why.

So my day care thing to prevent me from torturing, sodomizing, mutilating, dismembering, murdering and eating humans is three days a week

Know what's weird? I have an inverted version of Ondine's curse. I breathe automatically when unconscious but manually when conscious. Sucks

So constantly on my mind: focusing on breathing, worrying aboot my wife and possibly other bad things happening, whatever task I'm doing

No man that one thing can NOT be true ever

Oh but hey just in case is there a way to make myself not care so I wouldn't have to kill myself and stuff

J-Date, if she's done Things with not-me, I'll never be able to live. I'd never be able to enjoy anything anymore knowing that.

As is, I ALREADY can't, sorta. I just CONSTANTLY panic aboot what if it happened and I can't play video games or watch tv or w/e

I can't exist if Things happened. I would have to stop existing completely. Like not go to either Heaven OR Hell. Just vanish.

And like not have a consciousness anymore and not be able to perceive or think or anything.

It can NOT happen, J. I'm her soulmate; she can only do Things with ME

Every waking moment since June 2010 when Maddi first told me has just been a complete living Hell, dude

Just... constantly. Nothing has been able to distract me. I'll be sitting there playing a game or w/e and then I just freak oot

The only thing that could possibly save me if it happens is if time travel is invented and someome oes back and stops it

But I don't know, that might not even change the present, it might just create an alternate timeline branching off at that point

so really it jist has to never happen

Hitler an' Me:

Nick is sicker on twitter

I'm not gonna traumatize anyone. You know me, I'm the sweetest, kindest person there is. I just wanna do little girls' butts.

Oh, another turn-off: heels. Females must wear regular shoes. Sneakers, boots (but not the kind that goes up past the ankles), sandals.

I will only do children if they say I can and I will be gentle and use lots of lube and thrust slowly.

Ed Note: Why the hell was he not locked up before 2015??! Seriously, someone needs to read his tweets while he is up for parole in front of the parole board. Multiple people dropped the ball here!

Sick Nick's Tweet Responses

It's a bus specifically for retarded people, you'd think the drivers would be nicer. But I sat behind a really hot female so that was cool

Looked aboot 9-11 maybe? Definitely pre-puberty. Was wearing a little cute floral jacket thing over a white tank top... didn't see panties

@FagPrime Ok if I do figure oot a way to do Craigslist, can I specify I'm seeking under age 12 or do cops patrol there?

June 16th, 2013

P So, long story and also the only way I know hoo to tell it is nonsequentially. So uh, the other day, like two days ago I think, I read something I wasn't really supposed to. Not like legally or morally, just... I wasn't supposed to. I dunno. Anyway I was reading this thing and it said something has happened... Noo, I'm hoping it was a lie and the thing didn't actually happen and that it was put there specifically in case I foond it. Plus a close, trusted friend has assured me numerous times over three years that it's a lie and they have proof of this. They have never shown me the proof, but they've been extremely helpful in the past so I just took their word for it. I've often had moments of doobt though, like what if my friend is just trying to protect my feelings or something, usually after someone tells me the thing did happen which is a lot. Like every day. They intentionally use it to drive me insane. Which actually is a bit comforting because then I think they probably did just make it up just to use against me like that. But I dunno man... lately shit's been snowballing. Like, a close friend who defected to the other side had a fallig-oot with the other side and noo is sort of back to mine, kinda, yet she still insists the thing happened. I shrugged it of kinda quickly because well maybe she didn't even really switch sides and it's just a clever plot to get me to believe the thing. Then in an odd coincidence someone else had a falloot with one of my other friends and they told me that other friend has been lying to me for like... I dunno, seven years? I still don't know what to make of this as both of them have been cool to me all those years. Then I read another thing people probably don't know I can see, which also said the thing happened. Of course, it was also a joke but that doesn't necessarily mean it's not also true. But then my friend again was like no man it didn't happen. But then I read the thing the other day too. Which was not a joke. It was kind of a freakoot, actually. Noo, mystery people keep leaking things to me so I guess it's possible it was set up specifically for meto see, like.. you know, the "leak" was acthally not a leak and the person it's aboot is in on it? Dear god I hope so. This crap has been tormenting me for three years since the rumours of the thing having happened first emerged. In fact, before my friend told me it was a lie a different friend (whose allegiance has been extremely questionable beginning like immediately beforehand) first told me it did happen and I completely freaked the fuck oot for a few hoors. This friend appeared to be reliable since I met her, then was openly abusive towards me (which my other friend said is part of a plan which... noo I'm questioning if there's actually a plan or not), and noo she seems to have completely gone to the other side quite suddenly. So that's confusing. Supposedly, what my enemies say is that she was screwing me over all along, since we first met. Which would of course mean she could've been in on a conspiracy to tell me the thing happened when it really didn't. And if my other friend's plan is real, that means the same thing except she's actually on my side but pretending to be against me to infiltrate the enemy ranks and help me oot. A third option, which my friend who sorta defected from tne enemy side to kind of mine maybe claims, is that she originally liked me but later hated me for whatever reason. Not sure what that means for her credibility. Anyway, with all this mixed evidence I have no idea what's going on. I just have to hang on to the hope that somehoo the thing never happened and never will because lord knows I would definitely have to commit suicide. I could never live with that knowledge. Shit, I can barely function in my Schroedinger's cat state of not knowing one way or the other. Nothing I do successfully distracts me from wondering. I'll be just hanging oot playing a video game and suddenly I just break doon and have haunting mental images of what if the thing happens. I even recently started therapy and got medicated buf it's not really helping. Not with this one specific thing anyway. So yeah. No idea what the hell to do.

LiveJournal Bio

Tales of the Nick

Mostly involving butts and Kentucky's inexistence

Plus Account Created on 20 April 2007 (#12772622) Last updated on 16 June 2013 Gift

NAME:

Nick Bate

BIRTHDATE:

1 September 1991

LOCATION:

Pennsylvania, United States

WEBSITE:

Twitter, I guess

EXTERNAL SERVICES:

• hagurumon31
• kentuckydontexist

SCHOOLS:

• Penn Manor High School - Millersville, PA (2008 - 2009)

Bio:

It's extremely hard to summarize what I'm like, but I'll try to anyway. Words I'd use to describe myself include random, pervy... and that's it, actually. But it's not all fun and games. I have my negative traits, too, including being technically mentally retarded, anti-social, physically handicapped in so many ways, ugly, lacking any skills at all, and I'm sure I suck for many other reasons I can't remember right now.

I have no local friends, so most of my time is spent playing video games or surfing the Internet, where I have a few long-distance friends. Most notably would be a certain person whom for whatever reason decided to start hating me back in August '08. You'll probably see me rant aboot that on here a lot. Oh yeah, did I mention I say "aboot" in an attempt to be Canadian?

Interests:

"weird al" yankovic, adult swim, alchemy, anti-kentuckyism, astrology, bonus stage, butts, cats, christianity, clone high, cross-dressing, cryokinesis, desu, dice, digimon, drawing, family guy, fictional metals, final fantasy, frisky dingo, futurama, gemstones,hippies, homestar runner, househusbandry, hugging, hypochondria, instant messaging, john linnell, kevin smith, ki, king of the hill, larp, memes, message boards, mono puff, moral orel, mudkipz, my wife, nirvana, non-sequitors, nudism, panties, perviness,pokémon, rickrolling, roleplaying, rozen maiden, rpgs, runescape, south park, the beatles, the pixies, thestart, they might be giants, things, view askew, wikis, writing

Friends:

bitchyfaic, hagurukagi, heatheryheather, neudlucario, shippehmandy

Communities:

Watching:

bonus_stage_rp

Member Of:

bonus_stage_rp

Ed Note: Just realized bitchfaic and shippehmandy are both Anna!