LOLGUITAR

Y'know, while I'm glad I'm here at Dad's, Internetting, I'm also anxious to go back home and practice my guitar. Dad's girlfriend's son's been playing it, because apparently he only has a bass and acoustic guitar, and he's been wanting to play electric guitar for a while now.

I found some guitar chords on teh Interwebs (which, by the way, I recently learned is going to be a real word soon), so I'm going to bring those home with me. I already got a song request, so I'd better not procrastinate. :3

CHRISTMAS '07

School:

Wednesday: field trip to the mall. Everybody else had money but me, so I was the only one who didn't buy anything. When I got home, I found out that Baby died. This ruined my week.

Thursday: we played Wii. I dominated at bowling and tennis, despite having never played Wii before.

Friday: I skipped school to avoid having to attend "Winter Fun Day". Mom found out and didn't let me go to Dad's for the weekend, explaining my lack of Internet access.

Christmas:

Still depressed over Baby, and was expecting the usual Christmas disappointment, but I guess I scored some cool stuff. Mostly just an electric guitar (a REAL one) and Guitar Hero 3. Everything else was a bunch of crap I'll never use.

Eulogy:

Rest in peace, Baby. We all love you and will miss you, until we die and can hang out with you again. Until then, have fun chillin' with my other deceased cats in Heaven. I was hoping you'd stick with me for a few more years and meet my wife, but alas, it didn't work out that way. I also have no idea why you suddenly decided to run out onto the road during incoming traffic, but if I ever find the asshole that killed you, I'll try to avenge you, k? So goodbye, Baby. We'll meet at the end of the tour. <3

SCHOOL WAS EPIC THIS WEEK.

My class and teachers have been trying to persuade me to go to the cafeteria since school started, and finally I agreed. So I've been going Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and will probably continue to go daily. But I'm not gonna eat lunch. I'm just gonna chill and draw stuff.

I sit in the same place, with these four other kids. We're basically the nerd table. The one dude's in my fourth period class, and another dude I know from elementary school. We pretty much discussed my series when they observed the newest comic I'm working on. Plus, today, this chick (who's at our table but not part of the five of us) commented on a random picture I was drawing, and pointed out that it looked like the girl I was drawing should be saying "I HAVE BOOBS" or something like that.

Then evidentally there's also some kids I know from my adventures on the school bus whom I also run into at lunch. Like these two guys who are amused by my fetishes, and this hot chick who, after hooking me up with a ridiculous amount of Blow-Pops, shall be known as the Lollipop Maniac. Amazing how all I do is draw some crappy comics and suddenly I have a bunch of new friends. Fuckin' AWESOME, though.

Actually, the kid I know from elementary school actually found HMB: The Board once, through some searches. Though, I don't know why he ran a search for me when I haven't seen him for like, five years, but y'all know I approve of cyber-stalking. I'd be amused if he found my LJ. Very, very amused. Let's see if I can help him out by typing some key search terms.

The Nick Team
Nick Lightning
Nick Stoutzenberger
Nick Bate
Kentucky Don't Exist

Oh, and there's a pregnant chick in my class.

LAWL, CHRISTMAS.

A few days ago I wrote a Christmas list, filled mostly with unrealistic things. Here's a few of them.

-About 100 morning glory seeds, per serving!
-Porn! (YES, I ASKED MY FAMILY FOR PORN FOR CHRISTMAS. HELL, I EVEN WENT INTO DETAIL, EXPLAINING THAT I DO NOT WANT VAGINAL PORN.)
-A summer home in a completely different state, far far away from my family!
-Internet access!
-Love!

The only things I could think of that I want that are tangible, legal and affordable are:

-Video games, of the RPG variety!
-CDs!
-3, 4, 8, 10, and 12-sided dice!

So yeah. Once again, my Christmas will be fruitless. I might as well just sleep through it like I did with Thanksgiving. I don't even really celebrate Christmas anyway. I don't "spend time" with my family, I'm never really in possession of the "holiday spirit", and I only buy stuff for online friends and cats. Screw offline people who are humans!

LAWL I DUNNO

Aww, I didn't get to Dad's until today (Saturday). Why on earth he didn't pick me up Friday, I don't know. But I'm here and that's all that matters.

The kids in school keep saying they want someone to kill me. Why is this?

I kept falling asleep in the middle of the day this week. Epic. Also, I've been overusing the word "epic" and it's irritating me. I also got Flash on my laptop, but I have no idea how I'm gonna upload my stuff, what with the lack of Internet access. I guess I could burn a CD of my stuff and bring it to Dad's, but evidentally the lappy lacks a CD burner, too.

I wanna film some porn and then sell it and makes assloads of cash. But I need another actress. Any takers on that? ...oh, and I guess I need a camera, too.

I just drank a cup of coffee. Like, REAL coffee. Not cappuchino like usual. This coffee was good. Mmmm.

Workin' on a music video. The End of the Tour put to Bonus Stage footage. Mostly from Ryaconning, Rya's Wedding, and some other random PhilxRya clips. It won't be done by the end of this weekend, though, I can tell you that right now.

I think the coffee gave me the idea. But I'll accept full credit anyway.

PHEW, CLOSE CALL.

I was pretty damn close to not coming up to Dad's this weekend (which would've meant no Internet). There was an incident this morning, uh, exactly like the identical incidents which occur one or two days every week. See, I was physically unable to wake up, due to my ridiculous amount of tiredness every morning. So I missed the bus. Again. Nanny called my aunt and her friend over to wake me up, which didn't work. They even dragged me out of bed and poured water on my head. Still unable to wake up. So yeah, I missed school today. AGAIN. Somehow, though, I actually got in trouble this time, despite the same exact scenario playing out every week since I started going back to school. Also, apparently I have to go to the doctor and get blood tests or something to check out my blood sugar and stuff.

In other news, school yesterday sucked so much ass. And I don't mean that in a good way. I mean it in a bad way. After wrapping up our project of making dog-bone wreaths, me and four of my classmates went to a bazaar for half the day to sell them. This field trip had the potential to be a good thing, but unfortunately, the four kids I went with all hate me. So I had to put up with their shit ALL FUCKING DAY. Two of them insisted on inflicting physical pain on me, while the other two pretty much told me to stay away from them, and refused to touch anything that I've previously touched. Of course, it didn't end there. Everyone started yelling at me for "littering" when I simply sat something on the floor until I was able to pick it back up. It's not like I was gonna LEAVE it there. AND PLUS EVERYONE ELSE WAS SITTING STUFF ON THE FLOOR, TOO. Then they forced me to carry a heavy-ass box, even though they know damn well it's too heavy for me. In fact, I even DID carry it one leg of the trip, but they told me to carry it AGAIN, while the others carried absolutely nothing at all. So I refused to do it, naturally. And THEN, this one bitch calls me lazy because I refused to carry a box that I'm physically unable to lift. EXACTLY WHAT MY FUCKING MOM DOES CONSTANTLY. It was at this point that I remained silent for the rest of the day, trying to control my urge to beat the shit out of them. I remained silent even after overhearing then talking about me behind my back. One kid called me a manwhore, which I didn't mind, but then that same bitch said I can't be a manwhore because I "can't get any". It was at this point that I actually started crying. Not audibly, but my eyes watered profusely. When we arrived back at school, we set out on ANOTHER field trip with the exact same people going (well, minus that one bitch that called me lazy). This one wasn't so bad, though two of them were tormenting me and the other girl (who actually didn't do anything wrong all day, other than tell me to get away from her). We went to Long's Park, where they picked up sticks that used to trip me and sexually assault her. In summation, I FUCKING HATE MY CLASSMATES.

Bonus Stage Kids: Episode Two

{Open to the set of Bonus Stage Kids.}

PHIL: Welcome back to Bonus Stage Kids, everyone. Why does it seem like we were on a long, long hiatus?

JOEL: {from offscreen} We got slapped with twelve lawsuits.

PHIL: Right, as I was saying, nothing out of the ordinary happened since our last episode! As you all know, I'm your host, Phil "The Host" Argus. {gradually becoming more irritated} Because it's my job to host. Constantly. Without rest. All the time. FOREVER. {calming down} And now, let's see how Andrew "The Guy Who Exists" Wonderful is doing in the "Caring and Sharing Corner"!

{Cut to Phil and Andrew hanging out in a room where several little kids appear to be fighting over random toys while they talk.}

PHIL: As you all know, because you creepily watch this show about as much as you watch that old show we used to have, despite it being aimed at preschool children, here in the "Caring and Sharing Corner", Andrew teaches our little friends how to... well... care and share. How's that working out, Andrew?

ANDREW: Very crappily.

PHIL: {slightly irritated} Dude, we're supposed to be using G-rated language!

ANDREW: Oh, sorry. {correcting himself} Very shittily.

PHIL: ...yeah. Right. Well, {walks up to two random children, who are fighting over a toy} Children! How's it goin'?

LITTLE BOY: This buttface over here is trying to steal my toy!

PHIL: Now, now, her face obviously does not really look like a butt. {looks over at the girl, whose face DOES, in fact, look like a butt} ...err, well, maybe it does a little, but just don't say it out loud and everything'll be fine! ^_^

LITTLE GIRL: Nuh-uh! My face is pretty! My daddy said that!

PHIL: Is your daddy also a forty-year-old who lives in your grandmommy's basement and attends Star Trek conventions?

LITTLE GIRL: {sniffling} ...he... he says Captain Janeway is hot. ;_;

PHIL: {walks back over to Andrew} Well, Andrew, you're doing a fine job. Keep up the only-slightly-below-average work.

{As Phil walks away, the children fighting in the background become extremely violent. Injuries are sustained.}

PHIL: And now we'll see how Joel's doing in the "We're Making Science Fun Somehow! Corner".

{Joel is sitting at a table with a few other children, with beakers and other science stuff scattered around.}

JOEL: Today, Phil... and Lil... I showed these prepubescent midgets how to suck an egg through a bottle!

PHIL: So, Joel "The Cool Awesome Guy Who Is Better Than Phil", I guess everyone's having tons of fun over here.

JOEL: Hecks yeah. Plus it turns out we share interests in video games. These midgets are a'ight in my book.

PHIL: They're children, Joel.

JOEL: Well, God, Phil, you don't have to rub it in their faces!

PHIL: {sighs, then whispers to Joel} Joel, see me backstage. {speaking to audience again} Well, it's time for a commercial break!

{A little splash screen is displayed, with some accompanying cheerful-sounding music, and then we cut to Phil, Joel and Elly backstage.}

JOEL: What's wrong with you, Phil? Ruining the hopes and dreams of people who may look different on the outside, yet are so similar to us on the inside... WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!

PHIL: Joel. For the last time, they are NOT midgets. They're CHILDREN. This is a CHILDREN'S show. Remember the contract you forced me to sign?

JOEL: The restraining order?

PHIL: No, the other one. The one where you tricked me into hosting this stupid show.

JOEL: Oh, yeah. I remember that. Remember the episode we did about E3?

PHIL: Not THAT show, THIS one!

JOEL: What's the difference?

PHIL: THERE'S A HUGE DIFFERENCE. Now can you PLEASE do something about getting us out of this mess?

JOEL: Look, Phil, the contract is binding. Besides, I managed to snag us a great dental plan by handing out a few favors. {raises eyebrow} Sexual ones.

PHIL: You didn't sleep with anyone.

JOEL: Of course not. There was no time for sleep with all the sex going on. ^_^

PHIL: Elly, don't you have a problem with being on this show?

ELLY: Nah, it's easy. Just pretend to be nice to some little kids for a half-hour and then go home and beat up some life-size dolls that LOOK like children.

PHIL: ...yeah... that's... that seems like it should be a felony.

JOEL: Don't worry, Phil. The terms only last for one more season, then we're as good as dead.

PHIL: Dead?

JOEL: No, I mean... no, of course we won't die... uhh...

{Phil stares at him blankly.}

JOEL: Okay, I've been swayed by your persuasion. Look, Phil, when the show ends... they kill us.

PHIL: WHAT?!

JOEL: Yeah. It was in the fine print. That Slim is one crafty guy.

PHIL: How could you not read the fine print?! Haven't you learned anything from the LAST contract we signed?

JOEL: Uhhhh... smashing things solves everything?

PHIL: Yes.

{To be continued.}

COVER YOUR EARS!

music: Why Did You Grow a Beard? - They Might Be Giants

I had several hours of home-alone time today, so I experimented with the bass. Now, I don't get much time to practice, but I decided I'd try to record Why Did You Grow a Beard?, because it's a pretty simple bassline. However, as you'll soon learn, even a simple bassline can be fucked up pretty badly when you give me a bass.

1. Bass Only - download link
This was the first recording. I did a few practice rounds before recording, which I did okay on, other than the pause between verses and refrains. I was going to record both the bass and my singing, but after I tried that once I realized it wasn't such a good idea. So I just recorded the bass by itself.

2. Bass and Vocals - download link
A bit later on in the evening, I decided I'd record myself singing while playing the bass. As previously stated, not a good idea. Now, I do horribly on both separately, but when combined it's just... so much worse... you have no idea. Trying to do two things at once really fucks me up. If you pay close attention to the bass, I probably messed up the tune (hell, I probably strummed the wrong string or something too). Also note that MY SINGING IS FUCKING HORRIBLE.

3. Vocals Only - download link
Just when you think it doesn't get any worse, it does. I decided that since I did bass only and both bass and vocals, why not do vocals only? So I did. This is the result. Your eardrums will now implode.

Ed Note: Links are dead.

NICK'S SKYPE ADVENTURES, PART ONE OF ONE

So today, I Skyped with KN for literally four hours. We discussed many topics, ranging from why I am ugly to how to make toast. All sorts of hilarity occurred as everyone in my house woke up/came home, and then invited even more people over. So a good portion of the conversation took place while there were like six people talking in the background. Plus a TV was on. It took skill to withstand such distractions. But some good has come from it. For one, I now know how to make toast.

I wish I had a rectal thermometer. And a fever. At the same time.

IT'S THANKSGIVING.

I have a five-day weekend, so I have extra Internet days. Huzzah!

I didn't do much for Thanksgiving, other than the usual polyanna and dinner (which I later puked back out five times).

I got my laptop pimped out with Bonus Stage episodes, but most of them got fucked up during the conversion process, so I'ma redo 'em.

A FEW PROBLEMS SOLVED.

I got some non-cancer deodorant. I do not smell bad anymore.

Also, major drama has been resolved, I think. I'd rather not go into detail.

I just bought a live show by TMBG, y'know, the ones from their wedsite. I'm enjoying it! ^_^

I'm also reading *GASP* ...A BOOK!

Over the weekend, I tried converting Bonus Stage episodes to a different format so I can watch 'em on my laptop back home. So far I'm only up to episode 50, so I probably won't get it done before I go home. Especially since episode 48 is giving me problems. I skipped it temporarily.

I'm addicted to the Dial-A-Song demo of Ant. I don't know why. I've listened to it at least ten times just yesterday.

I DON'T KNOW, MAN...

Nothing interesting happened this week. I mean, not like anything interesting ever happens anyway. Figured I'd make an entry anyway. =/

I finally managed to get a book for the literature circle thing we do, and also apparently my teacher's going to bring in some non-cancer deodorant for me, because I don't think it's normal to still smell bad RIGHT AFTER taking a shower (especially when I used multiple soaps).

We also recently started this new thing in math where we have to do math problems out of a textbook, and I fucking hate it. Oh, but I got out of it one day went we went on a field trip to some sort of job faire. Ironic, eh? Oh, but then I had to make up the work the next day anyway. That's almost as ironic, which isn't cool.

WEEKEND UPDATE

location: In the fucking shower =/
mood:  irritated irritated
music: Where is My Mind? - Pixies

This weekend was mostly unproductive, but I burned some CDs of things to bring to my laptop, continued my roleplay, and actually attempted making a game in Flash. This was the result: a Nick Bate dress-up game.

http://img106.imageshack.us/img106/8948/dressupex8.swf

It's not on the site yet but eventually it shall be. Really it sucks, but that's okay because it's just an experiment to get used to Flash a little better.

In unrelated news, I've taken a shower two days in a row and I'm not happy about it. B|

Ed Note: Link Broken

I HUNG OUT WITH A DEAD GUY.

Week ten, and Friday was definitely the best day this week. We did a few minutes of our regular first period, but from then on the whole day was a field trip to Edgar Allen Poe's house and gravesite in Baltimore. Also I found out Baltimore's in Maryland, and not Pennsylvania as I previously presumed. The whole day was mostly riding in the car (but it was fun because it was only five kids going, and many lolz occured in the van) and we were really only at the place for like an hour, if that. But we took a photo of us standing in front of the headstone. Someone apparently leaves a bottle of alchohol there every year on Poe's birthday, so that's in the photo too. I'll see if I can get a copy to scan. And now a list of what the hell was going on in the van.

Nick (me) mostly sat there staring blankly out the window and being antisocial, like always. At first he listened to Miscellaneous T, and after that he decided to listen in on what everyone else was doing, occasionally chiming in with "I don't understand y'alls" or "What the f-". But he was in the front seat with the teacher (due to everyone else always going to great lengths to avoid sitting with him) so he probably missed a lot. Dillon, being the class clown that he is, bugged everyone the whole time. Whether it was pulling Nick's hair or grabbing Jess' tits, he did indeed bug people. Kyle, the resident goth kid who acts nothing like a goth kid, pretty much just went along with whatever everyone else was doing. Jess slept the whole way to Baltimore. Bethany was apparently letting people sleep on her, and also stroking their hair. o_O

So then once we got to Baltimore, we stopped for some food. But instead of getting anything, I waited until everyone was done eating and devoured their leftovers. I have problems. Anyway, then we entered Poe's house. They had displays and stuff set up, like a museum. There was even a portrait of Poe's wife's dead body, which was kinda creepy. We weren't there for very long, but then we went to the gravesite, which was pretty cool. We even walked into some sort of cemetery... INSIDE A BUILDING. I can't quite comprehend how they managed to bury someone INSIDE A BUILDING. But yeah. The van ride back was interesting, as halfway back while everyone else was taking a bathroom break, I quickly hopped into the middle seat, forcing Jess to have to sit with me. She tried to hardest to get someone in another seat to let her sit with them but failed. My ultimate goal was for her to fall asleep on my lap like she just did with Dillon shortly before, but it didn't work. At all. Then I tried to get her to hug me, which she also didn't agree to. But hey, she sat with me, so that's a start, I guess. We also missed the buses, so the teachers dropped us off. I was the first to be dropped off. Everyone saw one of my kitties.

All week, though, everyone was trying to get me to take a shower. Apparently I smelled bad. They even sprayed some perfume on me during class. Eventually I DID take the shower, because the teachers told my mom, who then began bitching as usual.

Outside of school, I've been listening to music on my now-fixed laptop. It's a bit slow, but whatever. I also never did try for teh Internet access, but I DID get to go to the mall today. I tried looking for theSTART's Initiation album, but they didn't have it. So instead I picked up Nevermind (by Nirvana, duh) and Wave of Mutilation: Best of the Pixies. Also I got two video games, my first new games in years. FFXII, BITCH!

Hagurumon ID v2.0by Hagurumon

Watch

DeviantArt Related / deviantID©2007-2016 Hagurumon

Oh, just a list of my interests.

Plus Simon, Mandy are Baby are there. Standing. And also me, obviously.

Another short

Another short by Hagurumon on DeviantArt

JUST WHEN YOU THINK MY MOM STOPPED BEING RETARDED...

...apparently my mom invaded my privacy and searched through all my random papers lying around my room (which weren't even in MOM'S house, but in NANNY'S house), and just happened to find a list of crimes I've committed. Don't ask me why I wrote that list. I just like to write random things down when I'm bored, and then toss them somewhere and never look at them again.

You can probably guess that Mom went insane upon seeing it, though. She started ranting to Dad to talk to me about it, as if it was really a serious matter. But it's cool now. I'm probably not going to hear the end of it from Mom, though.

Also KN helped me fix up my laptop, to an extent. Hey, I have sound and graphics now! :D Now, the Internet connection I could probably work on next. Let's hope I succeed in my quest. If not, at least I can play games and listen to muzak on it.

Oh, and SKF scripts! I have a few new ideas I'm trying to develop plots about. A few of my ideas include me going undercover as a woman to investigate a sorority, the FCC taking over the town and censoring everything (which I've been working on a comic about it school), an obvious Clone High parody, and Goliath hunting down some dude that screwed his restaurant's health inspection over.

THIS ONE'S PRETTY LONG. SORRY.

Week nine.

Monday: Pretty much as soon as first period starts, my teacher sends me to the nurse because my coughing fits were acting up like crazy. Turns out I had a fever of 100, too, which... doesn't seem that big a deal to me, since it's only 1.4 degrees higher than the normal temperature. I got sent home fairly swiftly, and went to the doctor FINALLY. The good news is, I got medicine that's supposed to stop the coughing fits and postnasal drip and cure my upper respiratory infection. The bad news, it doesn't really seem to be working. At all. Hell, I'm having a coughing fit RIGHT NOW. Literally, while I'm typing this, I'm coughing like crazy. Though it may be because people keep smoking in here, and we live in a tiny trailer.

Tuesday: I returned to school. Everyone was asking me if I was okay, which is odd because I was no sicker than usual. Seriously, I've been sick for OVER A YEAR. Why would they start noticing NOW? Not that I'm pissed off or anything, I'm just curious as to what the point is.

Wednesday: I accidentally skipped school because I slept through the entire school day. I shrugged it off and did my usual thing, playing video games, screwing around with my shitty laptop, writing random thoughts (which I will never need again) down on paper, masturbating, roleplaying with myself, listening to music, etc.

Thursday: I explained why I missed school to my teacher. I didn't get in trouble or anything. She said it was probably a good thing because I needed the sleep. Which is true, because four or five hours of sleep a day for 180 days can't be very healthy. I got out of math and science because once again, me and this one chick in my class, Jessica, went to the homeless shelter. Our first task was to rip turkeys apart, then we ate and then we served the food. Lulzy things happened during this time. At one point, some random guy came up and started drinking Jess' soda for no reason. It was even funnier because they were giving out free sodas a few feet away. This other random guy was continually walking around, staring at us and pacing around the desserts. Whilest we were serving, Jess was acting really weird (which I attributed to hanging out with me too much), in a hard-to-describe way. She told me she was just in a good mood, but IT'S A LIE. MY THEORY IS THE CORRECT ONE. We also accidentally dropped the garlic bread we'd been serving several times. Also, in the car, the chick who's been taking us gave us some kind of little oranges called clementines. Jess had already knew what they were and offered me one. I, of course, had no idea what the fuck it was, and tried to figure out how to at it. After I'd already taken a bite, they explained that I'm not supposed to eat the peel. A little too late for that, but okay. Then for fourth period, almost as soon as we got back, our whole class (or at least, the ones who were able to go, which ended up only being four this time) went to a nursing home to play Bingo with old people. Jess was the caller, and I was sitting next to her trying to persuade her to call my numbers out. Didn't work. I never won, but I got damn close every time. Thursday was epic. Sorry for this paragraph being so fucking long.

Friday: Early dismissal. For first block/period, reading, THERE WERE ONLY TWO PEOPLE THERE. Me and this one other girl (not Jess this time). We had our usual fifteen minutes of reading, then our literature circle in which we discuss what we read. We also had a guest visiting. I think he was the school's superintendent, whatever that is. That's like a principal or something, right? I don't know, whatever. He was there, anyway. I'm currently reading a book called Cruise Control, which is apparently a sequel to Stuck in Neutral, which was the last book I read. Once I'm done I should look into finding those books someone recommended to me. Anyway, we also had some food, like we do pretty much every Friday. The teachers' aide brought in some cookie-type things and a casserole. The casserole didn't go over too well. It was OKAY, but I don't care much for things like that. I forget what happened second block, but a few more kids showed up. Not many, though. Everyone skipped school because of the early dismissal. For third block we played a game called Apples to Apples. I LOVE THAT GAME. Many epic lulz happen during that game. The object is to lay down a card from your hand that best matches the word on the card that the judge lays down, and the judge picks which one he/she likes best, and whoever laid it down wins. For example, today, one of the words was "perfect", and I was a smartass and laid down "Adolf Hitler". I like being a smartass like that; it's so much fun. ^^

THIS IS AN ENTRY

Week eight.

I <3 Pixies. Definitely being added to my list of favorite bands. I also bought Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, but I haven't listened to it the whole way through yet. Money is a good song, but I don't really like the others so far. Sorry, guys. D:

The other day in school I way pretty hyper. In block two (Math), we were doing some sort of math problems, right? So this chick makes a joke comparing schoolwork to anuses, saying that they both smell bad. So of course, I, with my impecible sense of timing, jump in with "AND THEY TASTE GOOD". The entire class laughed like crazy, including the teachers. I wonder if they even knew I was referring to anilingus. :p

Later on, in block three (science), we were being taught about populations and evolution and shit, right? So when the teacher starts talking aboot nonrandom mating and mating rituals and stuff, I randomly shout out "MATING DANCE" and do this retarded dance, rubbing my tits. It got a few good laughs, but not nearly as much as the hilarity of the anilingus joke. I've been doing that same dance a lot lately. Everyone either loves it or says "oh God...". So I guess school is going pretty well! ^_^

Also, I'm doing well academically, much to my dismay. I hate to say it, but I accidentally retained a lot of the stuff I'm learning in science. Hell, everyone copied all my answers (which were 100% correct, by the way) today. DAMMIT, WHY CAN'T I FORGET ALL THIS?! However, math is really kicking the shit out of me. Figuratively. In science, we're still learning about populations, and them five enviromental factors: gene flow, genetic drift, nonrandom mating, mutation and natural selection. ...SEE?! I CAN'T FUCKING FORGET THIS. WHY?!?!?!?! And in math, we're doing Algebra. Something called the distributive property, which is confusing as hell. I hate math so damn much.

~Nick

THE LIFE OF NICK BATE: BOREDOM, INSANITY, AND PAIN

Okay, well, KN pointed out to me that I made some kind of mathematical error there, which I don't quite understand, but my argument still stands. Now, shying away from that, I live a very boring life on weekdays (hell, I live a boring life on weekends!). I've been so bored, in fact, that this week I started recording my CDs onto casette tapes. CASETTE TAPES. Think about that. I have CDs. So why in the hell would I need casette tapes?! Maybe for on-the-road listening, but still...fuck. I've also began playing Final Fantasy Tactics again, after going several weeks without playing video games (which I blame on either my ADD or depression).

I'm also trying to think up good songs to go on a soundtrack. It's for school. I'm supposed to burn my own CD with lyrics relevant to the book. So far I've figured out about four of the required eight. It's tough because of, you know, the book is just plain hard to make a soundtrack for.

Another thing, my pulled-muscle'd arm is still in pain. In fact, seems to be even worse (again). Now it even hurts when I cough, for some reason. And my coughing fits are acting up like crazy today, so that's a shitty combination right there. I also woke up with a headache and major sweating going on, but those problems quickly went away. I probably had a nightmare or something, but I don't remember having any dreams, so yeah. It was probably brought on by watching the Zapruder film the night before. Though it really didn't even disturb me... especially after flushing it out of my mind by watching videos of cute kittens...

AN ADULT-ORIENTED COMPLAINT!

Week... uh... seven? Dude, Thursday (They Day) was the greatest day of this year's school ever so far. Not just because it was They Day and I came into school with "THEY" written on my forehead. Like, I was gone all day on field trips again, mostly when I went with two other kids to the homeless shelter. I told them aboot my love of anal sex. They found it gross for some reason. But everybody had several good laughs aboot it for the rest of the day. I don't understand why people automatically hate anal sex without having ever tried it. Statistically, approximately 35% of straight couples have had anal sex at least once, and around 50% of gay couples, too. So that means, like, 85% percent of all people have anal sex. SO TRY IT, PEOPLE. DAMN.

WEEK SIX.

The story of a man and his mom.

Brought to you by the sick minds at Batia Studios.

A brand new b-movie.

"Incest: The Movie"

He came out of his mom's vagina... and now he's GOING BACK IN!

Coming to theaters near you.

07/07/17

WEEK FIVE.

All was well this week, as far as I can tell.

Yesterday (Thursday) I went to a homeless shelter with this one girl in my class, and the two of us served food and chopped up strawberries and stuff. Now, you should note that despite it just being me and a girl, there was no hitting-oning going on. We were there for most of the day, and apparently we're going again every two weeks! She said I did a good job, but really I just did what our teacherperson said to do, so...yeah. Whatever.

We arrived back at school in time for the last block, which was ANOTHER field trip, but with our whole class this time. We went to a nursing home to play cards with old people. It was horrible; most of the other kids were pissed off. This one kid even took off and walked home in the middle of it, so he's probably getting suspended or something. I did fairly well, other than the whole anti-social thing, and this one kid did really good. He helped this one old guy 'cause he didn't understand what was goin' on.

Today (Friday) we went for ANOTHER field trip for the last block. This time we went to some college and listened to what this one chick had to say. On the way back, everyone was cracking up because she said "M'kay". Except they were like "LOL MR. GARRISON", but um, they obviously got the wrong dude. I believe they're thinking of Mr. Mackey, or whatever his name is. Still funny, though.

~Nick

WEEK FOUR.

Today and yesterday we went on field trips. Oh, joy. I'm not the kind of guy who likes to walk around outside in unbearably hot weather. Today we went out to catch monarch butterflies. I failed my task, due to my fears of both insects and plants, and the fact that they were flying too high, and I am a very short person. Wasn't as bad as yesterday, though, as I had to hike up some hills and stuff. But the actual trips are quite entertaining, as we're a small class so we have some hilarious conversations on the bus.

During lunch on Wednesday, this one kid filmed me being retarded with his camera. He apparently put it on YouTube, but I can't find it. D: I'll ask him aboot it on Monday. In the video, I was being seriously fucked-up crazy, doing some sort of retarded dance. And it wasn't even really so much a dance as it was flailing around violently. Well, if I find the video, you'll see. Also, my goatee is growing nicely. I dunno if you'll be able to see it or not.

~Nick

Ed Note: If anyone can find that video, you'll be my new hero. LOL

HEATHER

Third week of school.

I found out that half of my teachers (one) like TMBG. This is epic win. On Thursday, we all did this activity where like, our teams got a word, and we had to sing an excerpt of a song that has that word in it. I nearly had a panic attack when the word "sun" came up. GEE, I WONDER WHY. But since nobody else in the class other than me and that teacher have ever heard of TMBG, people were confused. But yes, I sung a portion of Why Does the Sun Shine?. Then, shortly after, our word was "in", and everyone was stumped. It was at this point that Mr. TMBGlikingteacherman began singing Birdhouse in Your Soul. I KID YOU NOT. EPIC WIN.

HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER HEATHER

~Nick

HEY! WAIT! I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT!

Survived two weeks of school. I wasn't online last weekend due to forces outside my control, but here I am for THIS weekend. I hope I didn't miss anything important.

Here's my school schedule. Keep in mind all my classes are emotional support classes, you know, for the "mentally challenged". But I honestly don't see why all the other kids are in here with me. I'm really the only truly fucked-up one in here.

BLOCK 1: Communications Arts
BLOCK 2: Math
LUNCH
BLOCK 3: Science
BLOCK 4: Comminity-Based Instruction

The CBI thing is mostly us doing volunteer work at like, this bed-and-breakfast place. We also do some other activities and stuff. These first two weeks were surprisingly easy, mostly because it's just the beginning of the year and we're not really doing much work, just getting to know eachother. Oh, and another thing, I don't eat lunch, so I just stay in the classroom and draw and/or write SKF stuff. We has no scanner, so I can't exactly show y'alls.

My birthday was September first, and I couldn't help but notice that none of you bastards got me anything. :p As you could probably tell, I didn't get a laptop. The highlights of my birthday were an MP3 player, a digital camera, and three TMBG CDs (Why Does the Sun Shine?, They'll Need a Crane, and Indestructible Object; I am still waiting for the latter to arrive.). I also got some cash, which I used to buy two Nirvana CDs: Nirvana and In Utero. They kick so much ass. I've been listening to them quite a lot lately. I tried looking for theSTART, but I didn't see anything at the music place this time.

I might update later. I'm all journal'd out. I have to keep a journal for school, too, so... I'm dried up. I'd feel to redundant to post the same stuff here than in that journal. Agghh.

~Nick

NICK HAS RETURNED.

I'm back from a whole week at Nanny's.

First off all, we do indeed have a new cat. It is a really cute kitten. It's friendly and playful. We named it Skitty. He enjoys sleeping on my neck for some reason. I would probably saw "awwwwww" out loud if I wasn't choking to death. We brought him in the house with us, and threw some balls for him to chase. The one night, we had this laser light things that he chased around. It was hilarious.

I also had two dreams that I should discuss. The first was about terrorists attacking Pennsylvania. They blew up Hershey, a football stadium, and some other big city I can't recall. It was so crazy... there was this whole backstory and kind of a plot going on... I don't really feel like explaining it again. There were lots of weird special-effects, though. Then, the next night, I had another dream. In this one, Mandy came over to visit. Unfortunately, I don't remember it very well... but we were at Mom's house, and I guess they were having a family gathering or something. I dunno. Me and Anna were presumably off doing other stuff, though. I SURE HOPE THAT WAS A PSYCHIC DREAM :D

I had to get another haircut. =/ I got an inch taken off. I got rewarded with McDonald's and Dairy Queen, but... still... I need my hair to be longer...

I played a lot of Digimon World for some reason. The first one, which nobody likes but me. The only thing that bothers me is that your Digimon dies too fast. Before I can even get its stats up enough to actually put up a decent fight against enemies, it dies. So then I have to start over again. So really the only way to win any fights is to have buttloads of healing items. Oh, and Monochromon's mini-game thing is way too hard.

~Nick

So I've been puppysitting my mom's new dog while everyone's at work, from 5:30 AM to 1:00 PM, give or take. I've used these many, many hours to watch movies and shit online. Mostly the movies in the View Askewniverse. Gotta love 'em. Sadly, the only movies I've seen so far are Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and Clerks II, all of which were mad awesome. I'm probably gonna see Clerks next, if I can find it. Randall and Dante somehow remind me of Joel and Phil (respectively), except instead of talking aboot video games, they talk aboot sex. It's great.

I also FINALLY got around to submitting my entry in Jessa's contest on dA. After many failed attempts, I realized that I wasn't gonna pull off anything super-cool and/or awesome, so I settled on what I actually entered. I think I still have a couple more prototype drawings lying around my room.

Also, apparently Mom had a birthday yesterday, so my aunt took me to Park City to buy her some CDs. Naturally, I bought myself some CDs instead. Abbey Road, Bleach, and Doolittle, by The Beatles, Nirvana, and Pixies (respectively). I did, however, help my aunt find CDs for HER to pay for with HER money and not mine. Because I'm not spending money on my mom. Ever. She ended up getting her some country CDs (my mom likes country) by Toby Keith, Taylor Swift (who my aunt and I could've sworn was on American Idol, but mom insists she wasn't) and Billy Currington, whoever they all are.

We also went out to eat at this buffet called Shady Maple for the party. I ate an assload of breaded shrimp, which I never before realized was so damn good. I also tried some baked apples, which kinda sucked compared to its non-baked cousin. Then, of course, I raped the ice cream bar and fixed up a chocolate and vanilla mixture, topped with butterscotch, caramel, chocolate sauce and crushed Oreos. It may sound delish, but let me tell you, mixing that many flavors isn't as good an idea as it may seem at first. It somehow gave me a headache, and a stomach ache. But to be fair, I ALWAYS get a stomach ache after eating a lot, so.

ALSO, A MEME

Here's the deal, man, the total deal. I got this from Mandy/Anna/Mannady/Mandanna/Annandy.

"Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. Afterwards, post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own."

I gots R.

1. Rya
2. Retardedness
3. RPGs
4. Rectums
5. Roaring
6. Roleplaying
7. Rhetorical questions
8. Romance
9. Religion
10. Reefer

~Nick

BAD NEWS GALORE

Buttloads of bad news today.

1. My aunt called earlier, informing me that another of my cats died. It was one of the new kittens. Apparently it had cancer, which we already presumed because of the lump on its stomach. Of course we didn't DO anything about it, and now it's too late. Poor kitty. And now the other kitten has no one to play with. Awwwwwwww. D:

2. WF just got another computer game, so he's going to be kicking me off more often, probably for hours at a time. You might not be seeing me around much anymore. Oh, and on top of that, his mom is going to be taking COMPUTER classes for her schooling. Which means MORE less Internetting for me. AND, when school comes, I have to move back to Nanny's. Meaning NO computer. D: Just a little forewarning. So come the end of August, I'll be gone, unless maybe I can come to Dad's on weekends. But don't count on it. I'll probably keep in touch by sending letters and possibly phoning if Mandy feels like it.

3. I'm probably going to have a few heart attacks someday. I had a reveleation last night, when I had what seemed to be a miniature heart attack or something. I'm presumably extremely unhealthy, so I'm seriously fucked.

~Nick

I WIN. ^^

I had cybersex last night, sorta. Except it was more like cyberrape. IT TOTALLY COUNTED.

I woke up pretty early this morning, having a coughing fit like I usually do. I'm guessing it's caused by the mucus in my throat that I keep coughing up. But I'm still not sure why it's there in the first place. I was thinking maybe I have tonsillitis, but I don't think tonsils cause you to cough up mucus. And plus I've had this crap for over a year now and haven't died yet. But it's still annoying and pissing me off. >_<

WF keeps trying to make me watch some movie called 300 or something. Him and NT say I'd like it, but this is not true. I suspect that everyone is unaware of my likes and dislikes. So I will point them out now.

Likes - Satire and dark comedy (Bonus Stage, Family Guy, Futurama, South Park), stoner movies (Jay and Silent Bob, Cheech and Chong, Harold and Kumar).

Dislikes - Action, horror, sci-fi (Star Trek, Jaws), drama, reality shows, cop/detective/hospital/court shows (CSI, Law and Order, ER), everything else.

With that out of the way, I still need to figure out what do aboot this whole WF kicking my ass in DBZ ordeal. Also, I want Tara to adopt me. Also, I need to finish that SKF characters page. Also, I should stop saying also. Also, I need to hang out with Anna. Also, I need to think of a good avatar. Also, I'm hungry and should probably eat but I don't really feel like it and also I'm fat so I should just stop eating for a few months. Also, I'm in a kinda bad mood today. I dunno why. Oh, and I'm really, really horny. I need to engage in some anal sex. But I caaaaaan't. ;_;

~Nick

WF IS GOIN' DOWN!

location: up yer butt
mood:  tired tired
music: theSTART

While he was away doing his college registration crap, me and his friend plotted against him. He kicks the crap out of everyone who challenges him to DBZ Budokai 3, so we were trying to come up with strategies and train our characters and stuff. When WF got back, I challenged him with my newly-levelled up character and still got my ass kicked. I need to come up with a better strategy. ;_;

I also talked to Tara recently-- first time in a while. The conversation was great; I should post it somewhere someday perhaps maybe.

Batia Studios Updates - There's a new official website (hosted temporarily on Freewebs) located here. So far all that's up is the index page, shorts page, and the crappy Cloudwatching short that I just finished. I'm currently working on the characters page. It's taking a while. Oh, and when I do finish it, don't go downloading the Flash file and looking for secrets. Because there aren't any. I also recorded a short improv conversation between Nick and Goliath, which I may consider animating sometime. That's right-- RECORDED. Meaning VOICE ACTING. And NO SPEECH BUBBLES.

~Nick

FUN FACTS THE THIRD

That's right. It's time once again for fun facts!*

1. People tell me I look like John Lennon. Can't quite say I see the resemblance, but okay.

2. I'm tone-deaf! =D

3. Despite being a hippie, I don't like Dark Side of the Moon. -GASP-

4. I take my shirt off to go to the bathroom. I'm sure people have seen me putting it back on as I walk out and assumed I've been jacking off in there.

5. I'm ablutophobic (the fear of bathing). I still bathe anyway, I just freak out while doing so.

*Fun not guaranteed. No refunds.

VBS, YO!

So I've been at Vacation Bible School for the past few days. I'm sure you guys missed me. ...right? I'm not making too big an assumption...? Ha, so okay, I go to VBS every year, and this was the best one ever so far, especially because this year it was outside and involved getting soaked! Basically, every year it's a five-day program over the summer, and unfortunately I missed the first day. But whatever. I also neglected to bring my stuff back to Nanny's until like, the fourth day, so I made do with what I didn't bring to Dad's... my Gameboy, some paper/pens, a bottle, food, etc. Anyway, now it's time for a long account of each day at VBS.
VBS - Day 2! First we did our intro, where everyone gathered at the main tent to do some sing-a-longs. Then, we split up into our groups. My group is cool. It consists of Alex, Adam, Aly, Nick, and Maria. However, Maria is only really there for the lesson and doesn't play the games or make crafts, so I dunno where she keeps running off to. My guess is she's anti-social, like me. I even have a picture of our group. I should show it somehow. Anyway, our group went to our tent and our teacher, Linda, taught us our Bible lesson. She talked a bit aboot the Apocalypse, which scared me. I was totally not expecting them to scare children at VBS. After our lesson, all the groups joined together again to make crafts. Though I basically try to stick with my group all the time anyway. So, the day's craft was gluing seashells to a wooden cross. We usually have snacks sometime after crafts, too. It was Rise Crispy treats and punch today. And then came the games. Day 2's games were crazy. First, we split up into teams (Not our same groups as I previously mentioned, our teams for this game were determined by what sticker we were wearing. We all had to pick a sticker earlier in the day.) and formed a line. There were four teams, and each had a bucket in front of them, right? Okay, so then there was this other big water-filled bucket a few yards in front of all of the teams. Each team was given a cup, which we were to run to the big bucket, fill with water, then carry on our heads back to our teams's bucket (and there was a hole in the bottom of each cup!), dump the water in our bucket, and give the cup to the next person. Whoever got their bucket filled first won. It wasn't my team, which is good, because we found out that the prize for winning is having your bucket of water thrown at you. The second game was even more hilarious and very difficult. We had to pop water balloons using our butts. You might be thinking, "hey, I bet he enjoyed watching the girls", but no, keep in mind the oldest girl there was Aly, and she's 13. Most of the VBS attendees were little kids. So, I did a backwards flying tackle, and missed my balloon twice. That was slightly painful. However, I got it on the third try. Soon came the wrap-up, with more sing-a-longs, then we all went home. Sometime during the day, Alex, Adam and Aly were discussing homemade illegal fireworks. I fear they're going to blow up the city. :p
VBS - Day 3! Adam and Alex were not here today, as they were at a sports game of some kind. So it was pretty much just me and Aly. After the intro and Bible lesson was the crafts, of course. We made bracelets! Me and Aly found a mostly-empty table to work on, though there was another little kid there who was talking to us. He kinda reminded me of Gilbert Gottfried. The three of us discussed some stuff while we waited for teachers to come help us. Apparently Aly thinks Final Fantasy is awesome. I approve of this. Today's "game" was a hay ride! And while we waited for the other hay ride to come back (there were two of them, one for little kids and one for the kinda older kids), we had a squirtgun fight! Of course, I was unlucky with my guns. They wouldn't fill up right, and refused to fire. All the little kids were ganging up on me. I pretty much ran for cover. Especially because someone splashed water out of the bucket all over me while I was attempting to refill mah gun. And I felt something heavy and pointed strike me in the back of my neck. It was Aly, who apparently turned on me and shot me from behind. This called for revenge. But my guns never let me get that revenge anyway. I was completely soaked, mostly from that person that splashed water out of the bucket, but the hay ride dried me off. While on the ride, we passed Mom's house, and I pointed that out to people. Little kids started asking me aboot the horses that were out in the corral. I forget which horses they were. I can't really tell them apart except by their haulter color, which I couldn't see from the road. But yeah, I think I became a bit popular due to my pets.
VBS - Day 4! Adam and Alex were back today. Our craft today was decorating this wooden cube thing, which has this wire coming out the top and going around in a spiral. We then received pictures of our group taken on the second day, which we put in the spiral. I still have it. It's sitting up there on my dresser at Nanny's, along with a picture of me and a black-and-white printed-out photo of, uh, take a wild guess. Adam and Alex were also putting stickers all over Aly. I watched. Today's "game" was a huge slip-'n'-slide! I tried to stick close to my group in line. They were going crazy and throwing stickers at eachother. This one litte kid was punching Adam/Alex. Don't ask me which one. They're twins. Hard to tell apart. The slip-'n'-slide wasn't really as fun as watching my group's antics in line, but it was still okay. Sometime during the day, Adam, Alex and Aly were all chasing eachother, and I managed to grab ahold of one of the boys from behind so Aly could get some free shots in. I believe a bunch of little kids were also still using the squirtguns from yesterday, and continued to do so on the last day.
VBS - Day 5! This was the day to rule all days. No craft today, but there were tons of games. Carnival games, even! A dunk tank (I tried twice, six balls total, and failed to dunk anyone), throwing bean bags through holes, shooting some little kid in the face with a squirtgun, and more. I won a decent amount of candy. Like, half a small paper bag maybe. Aly claims she was on her second bag, though. Oh, and the slip-'n'-slide was there again. Parents were allowed to stay today, so my aunt was there, and she made me go down the slide so she could get a picture. Mom went down, too, but the camera died before a picture could be taken. Well, with Mom's face, I don't blame it. Poor camera never stood a chance. The games lasted much longer than usual, and we all had free-roaming. We could just walk around and play whatever. I failed to stick near my group this time, so I gave up and stuck with my sister (yes, my sister goes to VBS, too). After all the festivities and wrap-up and stuff, I talked to Aly, Adam and Alex. I explained to them what a second-person shooter would be. They agreed that if one were to exist, it would be awesome and extremely hard. I also got Adam and Alex's email address, so we'll probably keep in touch. Aly forgot her screenname, so I didn't get any contact info from her, but she said she's coming back next summer (she's visiting from North Carolina), so hopefully we'll be in the same group again or whatever. I also got Linda's phone number. She told us to call if we need to talk aboot anything, so yeah.

So there's your report for where I've been. Unfortunately I never got a chance to hug anyone, unless you count the time Alex/Adam tried to transfer all his dirt/grass/water/soap on his clothes over to me. Ah, well. Oh, and while playing Pokémon Ruby, I was just minding my own business, catching and unnecessary amount of Pokémon on Route 102, filling up an entire PC box with multiple Poochyena, Ralts, Zigzagoon, Wurmple, Seedot and Surskit, and I caught the Pokérus, in only a matter of like, two hours. And I wasn't even trying. Also, this one time I encountered a golden Poochyena, but it was during that first battle (when you save professor Birch), so I had no Pokéballs. ;_;

PS- Protip: six Zigzagoons = buttloads of items = buttloads of cash.

~Nick

A List of Crimes Nick Has Committed

I'm not as bad as I sound. A lot of this may be a bit exaggerated, but it still totally happened. However, I have good reasoning for most of it. Like, the attempted murder and stuff was in self-defense, so yeah. Long story.

• Theft
• Terroristic threats
• Smoking marijuana
• Assault
• Vandalism
• Stalking
• Sexual harrassment
• Piracy
• Illegal downloading
• Slander
• Truancy
• Possession and dissemination of child pornography (I, uh, once sent my friends nekkid videos of me. o_o;)
• Porn in general (I'm under 18)
• Corruption of minors
• Attempted murder
• Obstruction of justice
• Conspiracy
• Voyeurism
• Eavesdropping
• Copyright infringement & plagiarism
• Soliciting deviant sexual acts

Ed note: Enjoy prison, Sick Nick!

I'M ON A DRAWING SPREE!

I'm posting from Mom's, where I also scanned and uploaded a picture I drew. I've been drawing a lot of stuff recently, mostly potential entries for Jessa's contest on dA. Can't really figure out anything good, so I'm left with a bunch of scrapped ideas. This means plenty of my hand-drawn stuff to show you guys. Huzzah!

Also, mom yelled at me for throwing up the other day... and she was the one who MADE me throw up. -_- Plus, she threw out a picture of one of my friends that I gave my sister. Plus, she banned said friend's name or image from the household and yells at me and my sister when we say/draw, etc. them. GAAAH. Please kill my mom, someone.

NICK'S CHOICE

I stayed up all night again! This time, I'm gonna stay awake until an actual real bedtime, then go to sleep then, and hopefully I'll wake up at an actual wakeuptime. That probably made no sense.

There's this noise coming from the freezer... it sounds EXACTLY like someone dropping a coin into one of those little coin bank thingies. Until I found out what it was, I thought I was being haunted by ghosts. :p

I recorded me doing all the lines from Slim's Choice. You can find it by clicking here. I severely messed up a few times, most noticable when I flubbed one of Slim's lines due to my speech impediment that sometimes turns my Ls and Rs into Ws. You'll see. And I dunno what happened to Joel's voice... during recorded I made my voice deeper, but then when I listened it sounded exactly like my regular voice. So I dunno what happened there. But anyway, yeah, there's your entertainment for today.

~Nick

I SCREWED UP.

Lawl, I screwed up my sleeping habits. I stayed up all night again, then later accidentally fell asleep while watching WF play FF7. Then I woke up at 8 PM again. So even if I did have the house to myself this morning (I dunno if I did or not), I slept through it. >< I also found out I screwed up other things really bad.

I also started posting on Psy's forums more. Now it's back in my daily Internet routine (which basically consists of me alternating between several sites, mainly TMBW, HRWiki, LJ, BSWiki, etc, and IMing people). Also I need a hug because I'm emo.

~Nick

...OVERSLEEP FRIDAY? O_O

I stayed up all night, then accidentally crashed sometime earlier, then woke up at like 8 PM. Nobody was around until a bit later when my cousin hung out for a few hours. We listened to some TMBG, and some weird recording I made. Then she left and I was alone again. What came next should be fairly obvious. HINT: It involved my hand and my penis. Eventually everyone came home. Oh, and uhh, WF's mom got a job, so hopefully now I'll have the mornings to myself again! :D

I'm planning on recording some Bonus Stage impersonations tomorrow if I do have the house to myself. I'm gonna do Slim's Choice and Depart's All Yours. Because I simply MUST show off my Craig and Jessica. Maybe Car, too. I'm fairly good at Phil's old voice.

Heather needs to update her LJ. >:@

~Nick

NO SLEEP THURSDAY!

A bunch of people whom I do not know (I presume they are friends of Anna, Myrrh or Tara, or all of the above) organized a No Sleep Thursday. See, today we were supposed to invite everyone on our buddy list into one huge chat and just keep talking from 9 PM to 9 AM the next day without sleeping. Ironically, the very person who came up with the idea left aboot two hours into it, and then the party died. I was going to stay as long as I could, but I mean, everybody else left. So then so did I. We're gonna try again tomorrow, apparently.

At the same time I also had a conversation with KN. He keeps telling me to lose weight. Actually, I probably should. But I'm not actually THAT overweight. I'm just kinda chubby and I wear shirts that're way too big for me. Also I stand with my back arched inwards, so that probably makes me look fat. But regardless, I can't excercise. I've tried before. Doesn't work. Also I almost passed out once after a couple minutes.

Myrrh and Mannady met IRL. Apparently they're having funtiems! Contrary to popular belief, this makes me happy. Except for teh jealousy, which I shall ignore until it goes away.

Dudedudedudedude. I want Podcast Highlights! D: GIVE ME PODCAST HIGHLIGHTS. In a completely unrelated story that has nothing to do with that, my birthday is still September first. Which is just over a month. I am not really excited at all because all my birthdays suck anyway. However, sometimes I get pretty good presents. But not usually.

~Nick

JULY 17, 2007 - AN ENTRY BY NICK

My arm's FINALLY starting to heal. Geez, tetanus shots are horrible. Not only do they have the whole few-seconds-long sting that all shots do, they end up having screwed-up side effects, too.

So. I added like, three seconds to that SKF cartoon. Procrastination is a very bad thing. There's going to be (poorly-made) fight scene whenever someone reminds me to add to it. Apparently Waylon finally recorded his lines, too, except strangely, WMP was unable to play the file even though it was an MP3. Weird. The only reasonable explanation I can think of is that instead of using an audio converter, he recorded it in Sound Recorder and then screwed it up by going to Save As > All Files and typing .mp3 after the filename... because I've done that before, and it seems to make the files unplayable. Hmm.

I've also come to the conclusion that most of my voices sound way too much like my default voice. Take that news guy for example. His voice is basically just mine, but much deeper and with a barely noticeable accent. Hear it. Actually, upon further listening, it kinda sounds like that one dude from Rya's Wedding. :p

~Nick

Ed Note: Link broken.

SIGH...

KN and Waylon are still inviting me to pointless chats, my arm is still swolen and in pain, I slept until eight PM today, I'm still listening to Cast Your Pod To The Wind, I brought FF7 over for WF to play, and I haven't worked on any of my various projects for weeks.

There. There's today's report.

READ PLEASE.

Link - July 17, 2007 edit: Nevermind.

You'd think that, uh, now that I brought some video games up here I'd have more to do if the computer's taken. Well, you're wrong. There's four people living here and only two things to do. If the TV and computer are both taken, all you can do here is sit on the couch and watch people do things. And I'm the lowest in the chain of authority. ANYONE can kick me off of whatever they want, whenever they want. It's extremely annoying. So I need to get my own computer. Like, a laptop. So I asked for one for my birthday (Sept. 1) several times. If I don't get one, I will become very cross.

I was in quite a few chats today. First, KN and Waylon. Then, KN, Waylon and Heather. Then Cheddar and a bunch of his friends. Then everyone left and then made a new chat. Then they did that AGAIN. Then it was me, Waylon, KN and another guy. Making a total of six chats today. Whooooaaaa.

For my birthday coming up in aboot a month, I will require presents from everyone. Presents can be in the form of TMBG, a laptop, panties (pre-worn, please), RPGs, nekkid photos of my friends, and I guess a few other things, but I would just stick to those. :D HOORAY FOR BEING CONCEITED!

~Nick

WAYLON AND KN STRIKE BACK: PART 1

Some highlights from a rather lengthy chat I had with KN, Waylon and Psy. Be warned that we delve into touchy subjects, such as sex, love, religion, and video games. Also note that we're all a bunch of perverts. The faint of heart and/or faint of butt may not want to read. Seriously, it's extremely x-rated in some parts.

Hagurumon31 (7:19:23 PM): You people and your leet piracy skillzees. I swear man, I swear you guys are total pirates.
Hagurumon31 (7:19:32 PM): You just need to be the other kind of pirates
Hagurumon31 (7:19:36 PM): With cutlasses
knharbl (7:19:51 PM): pirates rape women with the spines of their husbands
Hagurumon31 (7:20:12 PM): That's not rape though
Hagurumon31 (7:20:16 PM): That's just sexual assault
knharbl (7:20:29 PM): alright then
knharbl (7:20:38 PM): so is it less worse if I sexually assault Anna? ;p
Hagurumon31 (7:20:48 PM): >:o
Hagurumon31 (7:20:55 PM): Dude.
Hagurumon31 (7:21:00 PM): Don't.
knharbl (7:21:05 PM): yes
discountbrick77 (7:21:10 PM): yeeeeeees
Hagurumon31 (7:21:11 PM): No.

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discountbrick77 (7:31:59 PM): back in grade school
discountbrick77 (7:32:16 PM): I would always obsess over the netowrk of who likes who and all that shit
discountbrick77 (7:32:29 PM): and a lot of times
discountbrick77 (7:32:35 PM): I'd think I was in love
discountbrick77 (7:32:40 PM): until I met the next girl
discountbrick77 (7:32:45 PM): same thing is happening to you
discountbrick77 (7:32:48 PM): so yeah
discountbrick77 (7:32:52 PM): You're a freaking child
Hagurumon31 (7:32:59 PM): -_-
Hagurumon31 (7:33:04 PM): It's not the same thing at all.
Hagurumon31 (7:33:20 PM): And uhh, didn't I tell you to not talk aboot this?
knharbl (7:33:20 PM): dude
knharbl (7:33:23 PM): you have the mind of a child
discountbrick77 (7:33:27 PM): welllllllllllllniggers
discountbrick77 (7:33:42 PM): it's all hormones
Hagurumon31 (7:34:03 PM): It's not. -_-
Hagurumon31 (7:34:17 PM): That's just your atheist opinions talkin'.
discountbrick77 (7:34:19 PM): it is
knharbl (7:34:22 PM): ...lolololo
knharbl (7:34:23 PM): then
knharbl (7:34:27 PM): where does the feeling of love come from?
discountbrick77 (7:34:35 PM): So your love is divine?
Hagurumon31 (7:34:40 PM): Yes
knharbl (7:34:42 PM): tell us, skymanbeliever
Hagurumon31 (7:34:47 PM): Ahem.
discountbrick77 (7:34:58 PM): tell us of the soul
knharbl (7:35:01 PM): yes
knharbl (7:35:04 PM): that awesome soul
knharbl (7:35:24 PM): somehow it is better suited than the brain for being the provider of "free will"
Hagurumon31 (7:35:24 PM): God created everyone to have their own soulmate, like, everyone has only ONE SPECIFIC soul mate that they're going to marry
knharbl (7:35:34 PM): how does that explain the mormons?
knharbl (7:35:39 PM): zing

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knharbl (8:40:15 PM): you only love everything you love because I influenced you
knharbl (8:40:19 PM): whether you noticed or not
knharbl (8:40:22 PM): sometimes I was not even there
knharbl (8:40:28 PM): sometimes I made other people do it
Hagurumon31 (8:41:37 PM): Hagurumon31 (8:40:15 PM): I would like to French kiss some chick's ass.
Hagurumon31 (8:41:50 PM): So you influenced THAT, too?
knharbl (8:41:55 PM): everything
Hagurumon31 (8:42:03 PM): Mmm-hmm. :/
knharbl (8:42:08 PM): even the things I don't like about you
knharbl (8:42:10 PM): ESPECIALLY those
Hagurumon31 (8:42:16 PM): So you influenced me to enjoy making out with anuses.
Hagurumon31 (8:42:20 PM): Suuuuuure ya did.
knharbl (8:42:26 PM): I influenced you to think in such ways
knharbl (8:42:31 PM): so you would be a social outcast
knharbl (8:42:39 PM): the only thing I did not do
knharbl (8:42:44 PM): was make your penis really small
knharbl (8:42:48 PM): you can thank your parents for that

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Hagurumon31 (8:48:44 PM): I enjoy sucking cocks.
PsychosisAUS (8:49:24 PM):  You said that last time we chatted.
knharbl (8:49:30 PM): he always does so
knharbl (8:49:32 PM): and then denies it
Hagurumon31 (8:50:17 PM): O_O
Hagurumon31 (8:50:26 PM): Dudezors
knharbl (8:50:31 PM): Nick just related a story
knharbl (8:50:35 PM): about him receiving a bad blowjob
discountbrick77 (8:50:37 PM): I'll look
knharbl (8:50:41 PM): I like it when he tells us fables
Hagurumon31 (8:50:50 PM): No, it was very much true, unfortunately.
PsychosisAUS (8:50:54 PM):  Nick Bate: I like sucking cocks.  Nick Bate: So anyway,  Simon J. Flavelle: GASSSSP  Simon J. Flavelle: QUOTED  Simon J. Flavelle: THAT IS SO QUOTED  Nick Bate: .........what?  Nick Bate: I DIDN'T SAY THAT
knharbl (8:50:54 PM): suuure
PsychosisAUS (8:50:55 PM):  Simon J. Flavelle: Before you make up any stupid reasons, Anna did NOT travel across the US just to get to your computer and type "I like sucking cocks" using your naem.  Simon J. Flavelle: But yeah.  Simon J. Flavelle: QUOTED
PsychosisAUS (8:50:56 PM):  Simon J. Flavelle: Nick Bate: I like sucking cocks.  Nick Bate: ...............  Nick Bate: No, it wasn't Anna.  Nick Bate: But if she did say that, I would have to immediately take my pants off.  Nick Bate: Also I like taking it
PsychosisAUS (8:50:57 PM):  up the ass.  Nick Bate: But anyway,
Hagurumon31 (8:50:59 PM): I told Anna aboot it a long time ago, back when we first met.
Hagurumon31 (8:51:22 PM): WHAAAAT?!
Hagurumon31 (8:51:28 PM): I said NONE of that shit!
knharbl (8:51:31 PM): yyes you did
PsychosisAUS (8:51:38 PM): Then why is it in my chat log? :P
Hagurumon31 (8:52:08 PM): Becaused you obviously have a sockpuppet MSN account which you use to impersonate me
discountbrick77 (8:52:42 PM): haha
discountbrick77 (8:52:42 PM): nick
discountbrick77 (8:52:52 PM): you've said similar stuff to us too
Hagurumon31 (8:53:08 PM): No, no, no
Hagurumon31 (8:53:20 PM): It's just your minds playing tricks on you
discountbrick77 (8:53:31 PM): JUST AN E-MIRAGE

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discountbrick77 (9:04:25 PM): she's fucking crazy about you
discountbrick77 (9:04:31 PM): I mean
knharbl (9:04:31 PM): take advantage of it
discountbrick77 (9:04:35 PM): LITERALLY crazy
discountbrick77 (9:04:40 PM): but really nick
discountbrick77 (9:04:43 PM): she's sweet
discountbrick77 (9:04:45 PM): she's pretty
Hagurumon31 (9:04:47 PM): I don't think she's THAT obsessed with me. :/
knharbl (9:04:54 PM): you don't know shiiit
discountbrick77 (9:04:57 PM): she's obsessed with you
discountbrick77 (9:05:02 PM): as much as you are with anna
Hagurumon31 (9:05:17 PM): Oh, like you can really gauge that.
discountbrick77 (9:05:32 PM): and plus nick
discountbrick77 (9:05:37 PM): anything you don't like...
discountbrick77 (9:05:47 PM): you can always slowly mold her
discountbrick77 (9:05:52 PM): like KN did to you
discountbrick77 (9:06:10 PM): the more you spend time with her
discountbrick77 (9:06:15 PM): the better you'll like her
discountbrick77 (9:06:27 PM): because a. she develops a personality like yours
discountbrick77 (9:06:36 PM): b. You developed a persoality like hers
discountbrick77 (9:06:43 PM): so it's a win-win
Hagurumon31 (9:06:51 PM): O_O
discountbrick77 (9:07:50 PM): do it
Hagurumon31 (9:07:53 PM): Why?
discountbrick77 (9:08:07 PM): love
discountbrick77 (9:10:03 PM): c'mon, nick
discountbrick77 (9:10:06 PM): she LOVES you
Hagurumon31 (9:10:25 PM): Why do you insist on butting in on my love life?
Hagurumon31 (9:10:48 PM): If you recall, I made you leet, sort of. So you should owe me stuff.
discountbrick77 (9:10:57 PM): ummm
discountbrick77 (9:10:59 PM): no you didn't

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Hagurumon31 (10:18:58 PM): I'm going to have to procure some buttseckz and anilingus.
Hagurumon31 (10:19:07 PM): Here's my master plan
Hagurumon31 (10:19:22 PM): 1.) Some hot chick (aka "The Target" takes a dump
Hagurumon31 (10:19:30 PM): 2.) "The Target" does NOT wipe
Hagurumon31 (10:19:47 PM): 3.) I insert my penis into her non-wipéd ass
Hagurumon31 (10:20:06 PM): 4.) I thrust as long as I see fit
Hagurumon31 (10:20:10 PM): 5.) I pull out
Hagurumon31 (10:20:24 PM): 6.) "The Target" licks all the shit off of my cock
Hagurumon31 (10:20:42 PM): 7.) I repeat steps 3 through 6 until I cum
Hagurumon31 (10:21:12 PM): I suppose somewhere in there I perform some anilingus on "The Target", too.
Hagurumon31 (10:22:02 PM): What do you think of mah master plan?
discountbrick77 (10:24:22 PM): it's terrible
Hagurumon31 (10:26:33 PM): WHY?!
discountbrick77 (10:27:37 PM): because....
Hagurumon31 (10:27:42 PM): Because...?
Hagurumon31 (10:29:04 PM): I think my plan is brilliant.
Hagurumon31 (10:31:49 PM): Also
Hagurumon31 (10:31:56 PM): There may have to be some tit-sucking
discountbrick77 (10:32:52 PM): yeah

~Nick